1. Always make stops per car. Nothing else matters. Including a logical, efficient dispatch. 2. During peak make sure you SPA entire neighborhoods with the same sequence number. 3. Wait until 5 minutes before start time to make add/cuts. 4. Make sure (assuming stops per car has been met) that the usual favorites and drivers that you are scared of because they'll lay down on you have their cherry picked stops and areas pulled off and added to other people's routes. 5. When doing #4 make sure you put the adds in the most illogical places possible on those routes using the same method as #2. 6. When throwing a detailed list of DOL corrections (that a driver took the time to make) in the garbage can make sure it's while you are on your way out to one of your numerous smoke breaks. That is more efficient. 7. Make sure you ALWAYS give an Emmy worthy performance when acting like you give a crap when a driver makes suggestions (such as in #6) or tells you that you added businesses to their 8000 section. 8. As drives are starting to report to work close and lock the door to your office when you know that your dispatching is worse than it normally is. They will really respect you for it.