9 Words Women Use

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by aspenleaf, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    My mom sent this to me and I thought it was very true!

    9 WORDS WOMEN USE





    1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


    2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


    3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.


    4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


    5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for meaning of nothing.)


    6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


    7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, Do not question, or faint. Just say, you're welcome.


    8.Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying :censored2: YOU!


    9. Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
     
  2. scratch

    scratch Least Best Moderator Staff Member

    My wife uses all these words plus a few more! I've listened to her for 27 years and have learned a long time ago about how to correctly interpret them. My usual response to her is "Yes Dear", but sometimes this has the opposite reaction from what I wanted.:bored:
     
  3. jds4lunch

    jds4lunch What the hell is YOUPS??

    I only want 3 things in life:
    1. A woman
    2. A sandwich
    3. A woman who can bring me a sandwich
     
  4. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    Whatever! :tongue_sm
     
  5. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    jds4lunch....what, no beer???
     
  6. toeknee2gx

    toeknee2gx New Member

    LOL ... Good Post..
     
  7. jds4lunch

    jds4lunch What the hell is YOUPS??

    Alright, alright.......4 things :laugh:
     
  8. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member

    And don't forget... Our Rules go right along with Our Words:


    1.The female makes the rules.

    2.Which are subject to change at any time without warning.

    3. No man can possibly know all of them and attempts to document
    the rules are not permitted.

    4.If a female suspects that a male may know some or all the rules,
    changes must be made immediately.

    5.The female is never wrong.

    6.But if she is, it's because of something the male did, said, did not do,
    or did not say.

    7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having
    been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.

    8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.

    9.The male is never permitted to change his mind under any
    circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.

    10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or
    imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
    judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or upset. The female may,
    however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying
    attention. See rule 13.

    11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

    12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or
    indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.

    13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.
    Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
    sole discretion of the female.

    14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past
    incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
    enlarge, embellish, or totally reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to
    the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
    pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.

    15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to
    illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
    consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions that he has
    bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.

    16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.

    17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought,
    opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective
    interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding.
    Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
    rationalizations will not be entertained. Desperate pleas for mercy
    and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances,
    especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition.

    There! I think that about covers it!!:lol::lol:
     
  9. RockyRogue

    RockyRogue Agent of Change

    I know this is kinda old but I thought some of the women on this site would get a kick out of this one. FYI...not all men are chauvinist pigs.

    The One Flaw In Women
    By the time the Lord made woman,
    He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
    An angel appeared and said,
    "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
    And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
    She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
    have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
    and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
    have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
    have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
    -and she will do everything
    with only two hands."
    The angel was astounded at the requirements.
    "Only two hands!? No way!
    And that's just on the standard model?
    That's too much work for one day.
    Wait until tomorrow to finish."
    "But I won't," the Lord protested.
    "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
    She already heals herself when she is sick
    AND can work 18 hour days."
    The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
    "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
    "She is soft," the Lord agreed,
    "but I have also made her tough.
    You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
    "Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
    The Lord replied,
    "Not only will she be able to think,
    she will be able to reason and negotiate."
    The angel then noticed something,
    and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
    "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
    I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
    "That's not a leak,"
    the Lord corrected,
    "that's a tear!"
    "What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
    The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
    her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
    her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
    The angel was impressed.
    "You are a genius, Lord.
    You thought of everything!
    Woman is truly amazing."
    And she is!
    Women have strengths that amaze men.
    They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
    but they hold happiness,
    love and joy.
    They smile when they want to scream.
    They sing when they want to cry.
    They cry when they are happy
    and laugh when they are nervous.
    They fight for what they believe in.
    They stand up to injustice.
    They don't take "no" for an answer
    when they believe there is a better solution.
    They go without so their family can have.
    They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
    They love unconditionally.
    They cry when their children excel
    and cheer when their friends get awards.
    They are happy when they hear about
    a birth or a wedding.
    Their hearts break when a friend dies.
    They grieve at the loss of a family member,
    yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
    They know that a hug and a kiss
    can heal a broken heart.
    Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
    They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
    to show how much they care about you.
    The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
    They bring joy, hope and love.
    They have compassion and ideals.
    They give moral support to their family and friends.
    Women have vital things to say and everything to give .
    HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
    IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
     
  10. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    [Yawn]






    I'll never get that 2 minutes of my life back.....
     
  11. Not tonight honey. I have a headache.
     
  12. Necroposting again?
     
  13. Sure why not? Just trying to break up the monotony.
     
  14. VonDutch

    VonDutch Bite your tongue, Missy

    I have to agree with "yawn".