A Holiday Pep Talk From MT3

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Dec 23, 2012.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Listen up, you lazy couriers!! I'm hearing all sorts of horror stories about stations with thousands of undelivered packages and employees with bad attitudes. UNACCEPTABLE!! You are messing-up my Hawaiian vacation with all of this crap, and I'm just going to have to turn my phone off and enjoy my family and the sun. Believe it or not, I made the incredible sacrifice of flying here First-Class because Happy Hands 1 doesn't have the range to fly me here. My new Gulfstream should take care of that.

    You know, you are just ungrateful for everything we do for you. We have given you a job, and you just shove it right back in our faces. Our Engineering Department says that all stations should be handling at least double the normal volumes, and even tripled volumes if necessary. LAZY, unmotivated slackers!! Besides my vacation, you are also endangering the leisure time of the rest of your upper management team.

    To show you how dedicated we are, Dave, Fred, and I actually went down to the Hub a week ago and each of us touched a package to show our solidarity with you. How's that for teamwork and sacrifice? Everyone in the Hub was yelling at me and telling me I was Number 1, which made me feel good until someone told me what they were actually saying. I had earplugs on, so maybe it was just a mistake.

    In view of your collective unwillingness to get the job done on-time, every time, and deliver the Purple Promise, I am authorizing Operation Crackdown. For every late package, you will get an OLCC, and for DEX01's, you will get a letter. If you run out of hours...too bad. You work for free until everything gets delivered, 24/7 if necessary. Effective immediately, I am eliminating the budget for the lavish breakfast feasts you have been receiving, and no more managers on the road!! We are already over-manned and over-budget.

    Anyway, you have really :censored2: me off this time. Imagine, messing-up MY vacation. Dano, fetch me another margarita.
     
  2. Goldilocks

    Goldilocks Well-Known Member

    :rofl: I bet it would be a hoot to work at your station!!!
     
  3. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    "And if you think we are incompetent now, just wait and see how much more we can destroy the company in the new year suckers!!! Me and Fred shorted our stock!!"
     
  4. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Their attitude toward us isn't far-off from what I wrote. As soon as peak is over, it's going to be business as usual, which means cutting even more. And no matter how bad peak is effed-up, absolutely nothing will change in MEM. As far as they're concerned, everything is A-OK.

    At most companies, a meltdown like this would have heads rolling. Not at FedEx. MT3 might as well be a Supreme Court Judge appointed for life, because no matter how badly he or any of the rest of them mess their pants, their jobs are safe.

    Why is that? It's because we have Fred Smith installed atop his throne, unaware of anything but cutting costs and keeping his thumb on labor. Their horrendous operational decisions are proof-positive that they don't know what they are doing.
     
  5. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    I'm expecting an exodus of customers at the end of the physical year. Volumes should start to line up with the level of service we are providing. The customers are not fools. They aren't going to pay for platinum when we are giving them tin. Of course mgmt will use that drop in volume as an excuse to beat us down further.
     
  6. StuffItFred

    StuffItFred Member

    Only part of your post that isn't true. He probably requested a Shirley Temple!
     
  7. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Ever wonder if the goal is to lower customer expectations? Might as well send it Ground for less money than to spend a lot for so-so service.
     
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Possible, but I don't know if they'd torpedo peak.
     
  9. overflowed

    overflowed Well-Known Member

    They're fruckin stupid, but not that stupid. They make a huge chunk of change off Express. They just keep saying they don't, hoping you keep hearing it, you might start believing it. They just want their cake and eat it too. They just want to get us to the green scam level. Talkin about ground, did one of you guys take my holiday gift from the black tub? Customer asked if i got my gift. I did not.
     
  10. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.


    Whaaaa???
     
  11. UPSBOT

    UPSBOT When UPS Was Fun

    The UPS Guy came back and took it.
     
  12. overflowed

    overflowed Well-Known Member

    Ya, lol he sure did didn't he. I saw that video. That was bad.
     
  13. StuffItFred

    StuffItFred Member

    Any bets on what Happy Hands and his frontline video statement will be about peak? Other than him looking like a penguin trying to fly. LOL
     
  14. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    Pretty easy really....
    "We had some real challenges this peak but you really pulled through and showed our customers the purple promise blah blah blah.. ad nasuem.
    Next month it will be the "times are difficult and we need to make sacrifices as a team to make our customer experience the best it can be .... " Lather rinse repeat.
     
  15. Goldilocks

    Goldilocks Well-Known Member

     
  16. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

    I haven't watched any front line vids. in a loooooooooooooong time.
     
  17. IsItME

    IsItME New Member

    The company is on the verge of a collapse. PSP in full effect. Service is a disaster and NO ONE CARES, especially me. I've made doing less/nothing for these greedy losers an art form. I'll take my paycheck but with what they've done to the employee, it's my responsibility to do nothing. I think it's important to help the company achieve it's goals. They want to destroy it and everyone I know loves watching them burn it down. It's amazing that no one I come in contact with likes this company or even wants to see it succeed. Everyone hates it and the leadership. They get paid a ton to burn this dump down.

    Give me my damn buyout. I'm done with this garbage @$$ company. I don't even want to wait until May to leave. This is misery and it sucks. The only thing that gets my group through the day is ripping on the company, which we do very well.
     
  18. CJinx

    CJinx Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I think things would be much better if they just fired all the unhappy people.
     
  19. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Who'd be left?
     
  20. IsItME

    IsItME New Member

    New, low paid employees that never had an expectation this was going to be a real job. They won't fire us. They'll write us checks to leave. The anticipation to get paid to leave is through the roof in my department. They said 1.7BB publicly but they are going to do more. It's a failure so long term, they need anyone with a living wage gone. To hell with it, this is a garbage company now. That's not really up for debate any longer.