Adoption

bbsam

Moderator
Staff member
You sound like a great father. I was a daddy's girl!

I was adopted at 11 days old. My parents signed up for a boy, lol - you know, that weird era of having the eldest be a son. Anyway, the adoption agency called my parents one morning and said they had a baby. It was not a boy, but a girl, and since they were next in line, they wanted to call. My mom hesitated and asked my dad. Hearing their hesitation, the social worker asked if they would like to come see the baby :sneaky2:.

They went down to the agency (which was connected to the hospital). When they arrived the social worker gave the baby (me) to my mom and made some excuse about something had come up and would they feel comfortable looking after me and feeding me until she came back. :sneaky2: She returned in about 1/2 hour and took me back and thanked them. Wait, they said. They thought she said that the baby was their's if they wanted her. Oh, she says, do you want this baby? And that was how I was adopted.

I always knew and always wondered about my biological parents. I'll tell you that story later. Lunch is over!

Love it! When my parents came to get me, I burped at them. Sealed the deal!:)
 

Ms.PacMan

Well-Known Member
I want to hear Moreluck's story if she'll come back and tell it.

My adoption was closed back then of course but the lawyer's secretary forgot to white out my birth mother's name on the adoption papers. They told me her name when I was in high school.

I was never that interested but my dad was beside himself with curiosity. He would say things like "Look at your blonde hair. I bet your birth mother has blonde hair" "Did I ever tell you I think I saw her in the waiting room" The comment I liked the most was when my parents would wonder if my birth parents were really smart. They would gush "You're the smartest person in the family. We bet you're birth parents are very smart." Then my mom would remember that my brother and sisters were listening and back track "Well, all you kids are smart, smarter than your dad and I is what we meant". I almost wanted to stick my tongue out at them.

My adoption story was my birth story. My siblings all had the - I went in labor in the middle of the night and you were born after 6 hrs. of labor etc....Everyone had their story. I think my siblings enjoyed hearing mine just like I enjoyed hearing theirs. BTW - my mom got pregnant with my brother 6 mos. after adopting me. She felt it was meant to be that way.

So my dad would always keep tabs on whether I wanted to find them and was always so excited at the thought of meeting them and finding out why I was who I was, but unfortunately he died when I was 19 before I found them. It wasn't until after I was married and had a baby that I was really curious.
 

Ms.PacMan

Well-Known Member
Daddy's Girl is what I'm shooting for. Getting that attachment early on is going to pay off when they start dating (If I LET them) at age 25. I want them to have some self esteem so they wont be bringing home some loser to meet. I hear a lot of "I can't!" and I try to stomp on that sort of talk.
Initially we were set on a boy, but then our book was mistakenly given to her birth mother an she immediately picked us out of all the others! We decided to go for it since we were getting impatient. We met up and the rest is history. She immediately came over to me and that really impressed her greatGrandmother ,who was taking care of her at the time. I suppose I was a novelty since I was the first and only man in her life up to that point.
Her mother didn't quite seem to have it all together upstairs, but she had sense enough to put her up for adoption while she still had control of who she went to. DSHS had gotten wind of the bad homelife (homeless) and were just a few steps behind. So, yes, I can say with confidence that her birth mother did genuinely love her enough to surrender her.
mistakenly...., lol :sneaky2: I think those social worker's are smart....line 'em up, move 'em out :cowboysmile:

My advice to you would be that she will know she is like someone out there, so avoid the "didn't quite seem to have it all together upstairs" comments about her birth mother (I'm sure you would anyway) so she doesn't internalize that to mean she will be like that and reverse it like my parents did - you're so cute, funny, smart etc. I bet your birth parents were those things.

Any adoptee will tell you that you will always feel like her real parents and if you wnt her to be your girl then she will be!
 

toonertoo

Most Awesome Dog
Staff member
I love the stories. Ignore the crap. This is probably one of the most meaningful threads, from people with great big hearts full of love,in a very long time. please continue.
 

Kis124

Well-Known Member
I was adopted when I was 7. I remember meeting my parents, and the court proceeding. My parents have 3 bio daughters, and adopted me and my 3 brothers. I remember being in foster care which I guess wasn't bad..don't remember any abuse. I have the paperwork to file with Onadoga county court to get information about birth parents. My brothers know and see their bio family. THe 2 older boys are bio siblings, and the younger one is from Korea. My oldest sister adopted 3 kids from Korea also
 

bbsam

Moderator
Staff member
Isn't adoption just about the most wonderful court proceeding ever conceived? Than you to all who make it possible.
 

Ms.PacMan

Well-Known Member
I was adopted when I was 7. I remember meeting my parents, and the court proceeding. My parents have 3 bio daughters, and adopted me and my 3 brothers. I remember being in foster care which I guess wasn't bad..don't remember any abuse. I have the paperwork to file with Onadoga county court to get information about birth parents. My brothers know and see their bio family. THe 2 older boys are bio siblings, and the younger one is from Korea. My oldest sister adopted 3 kids from Korea also
Are you the same race as your parents? There was a little girl on my school bus route that was African American and had 18 brothers and sisters - all different ethnicities! She was 5. I told her I was adopted and she looked at me with her mouth open, then said, "But you're white?!".

At about age 25 I became jaundiced for no reason. I knew I was born jaundiced and decided to call the hospital and see if I could [-]trick[/-] socially engineer them into sending my birth records to my doctor. It was the day of the Sioux City plane crash. She asked for all the dates and just as she asked me my name (on the records it would have just said Baby girl Sullivan) the news came on with a video of the crash. I said OMG and started telling the records clerk what was happening. She in turn was telling her co-workers. We were on the phone for a very long time and then she finally said, "Where do you want these records sent?"

My doctor's appt was later that week and when the nurse came in I asked if the records had been sent over. "Oh, how interesting", I said. "Can I see them? I've never seen my birth certificate". :innocent: She kind of hesitated but handed them over and I memorized everything I could until the doctor came in! I could hardly think straight. The doctor thought I was a nitwit or a hypochondriac maybe, and said to me that we really didn't need to look that far back in my medical records. :blushing:

So I had her hometown and I knew she had just finished high school and was heading to college.
 

Kis124

Well-Known Member
Yes we are all the same race, white...funny thing I have been told I look like my father..but aside from my younger brother who is half Korean, we are the same..coloring..hair lol
 

toonertoo

Most Awesome Dog
Staff member
What is better than being chosen? For whatever reasons mothers give kids up, they had a reason, as adults I guess we can learn to understand. But to be chosen from thousands, you are all special.
 

Kis124

Well-Known Member
I was apparently removed from my birth parents house. I was also the only one to be signed away. I believe I was 1 when I was removed.
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
mistakenly...., lol :sneaky2: I think those social worker's are smart....line 'em up, move 'em out :cowboysmile:

My advice to you would be that she will know she is like someone out there, so avoid the "didn't quite seem to have it all together upstairs" comments about her birth mother (I'm sure you would anyway) so she doesn't internalize that to mean she will be like that and reverse it like my parents did - you're so cute, funny, smart etc. I bet your birth parents were those things.

Any adoptee will tell you that you will always feel like her real parents and if you wnt her to be your girl then she will be!

I have never made any comments to my daughter about her birth mother because I want her to form her own opinion without prejudice when she is able to do so when the time comes. Sound advice.:smart:
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
What is better than being chosen? For whatever reasons mothers give kids up, they had a reason, as adults I guess we can learn to understand. But to be chosen from thousands, you are all special.

Yes, we did feel pretty special! It's a good feeling and an honor.
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
I was adopted when I was 7. I remember meeting my parents, and the court proceeding. My parents have 3 bio daughters, and adopted me and my 3 brothers. I remember being in foster care which I guess wasn't bad..don't remember any abuse. I have the paperwork to file with Onadoga county court to get information about birth parents. My brothers know and see their bio family. THe 2 older boys are bio siblings, and the younger one is from Korea. My oldest sister adopted 3 kids from Korea also

That was a bold and commendable decision by your adoptive parents. My sister has 1 bio daughter that is autistic and 3 foster adopted. Two are brothers by the same mother and the other is a girl. All have various special needs. My adopted daughter is best friends with her girl cousin.
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
Are you the same race as your parents? There was a little girl on my school bus route that was African American and had 18 brothers and sisters - all different ethnicities! She was 5. I told her I was adopted and she looked at me with her mouth open, then said, "But you're white?!".

At about age 25 I became jaundiced for no reason. I knew I was born jaundiced and decided to call the hospital and see if I could [-]trick[/-] socially engineer them into sending my birth records to my doctor. It was the day of the Sioux City plane crash. She asked for all the dates and just as she asked me my name (on the records it would have just said Baby girl Sullivan) the news came on with a video of the crash. I said OMG and started telling the records clerk what was happening. She in turn was telling her co-workers. We were on the phone for a very long time and then she finally said, "Where do you want these records sent?"

My doctor's appt was later that week and when the nurse came in I asked if the records had been sent over. "Oh, how interesting", I said. "Can I see them? I've never seen my birth certificate". :innocent: She kind of hesitated but handed them over and I memorized everything I could until the doctor came in! I could hardly think straight. The doctor thought I was a nitwit or a hypochondriac maybe, and said to me that we really didn't need to look that far back in my medical records. :blushing:

So I had her hometown and I knew she had just finished high school and was heading to college.

Remind me not to play poker with you:bigsmile2:
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Go back and re-read the progression of the thread. Brownwrench asked me if I had any children and I replied that I had 2 and that they were my own. I suppose I could have worded it better but all I was trying to say was that I do not have any adopted children. moreluck then decided to add her two cents in response to my post---"they were both mine". If my ex and I had decided to adopt a child we most certainly would have thought of that child as one of our own.

As far as the credibility comment, I have three words for you---"Anyone can Google."

A little "foggy" on the REAL progression of things......Brownwrench was the first to comment.....I waited for someone else to speak first. He did and then I told him I was glad he said something!!!!.....Only enforcing his comment to you......you see it as me putting in my 2 cents.

It's OK, the memory is the first to go.........Post #13 (still there) is the frst comment after your "my own" comment.
 

Kis124

Well-Known Member
I don't feel close to my adopted family at all. I'm what you would call the black sheep. My siblings all went to college..I didn't. I smoke and am a recovering addict..they aren't. The live in a suburban bubble...I love the city life, although right now I'm in a suburb lol. I haven't been home in over 20 years. I do email and inquire about them now and then tho
 

menotyou

bella amicizia
I don't feel close to my adopted family at all. I'm what you would call the black sheep. My siblings all went to college..I didn't. I smoke and am a recovering addict..they aren't. The live in a suburban bubble...I love the city life, although right now I'm in a suburb lol. I haven't been home in over 20 years. I do email and inquire about them now and then tho
I noticed you said Onondaga County Court. Is that the one here in NY? If so, and you need any help that I can provide, as I live near there, I would love to be of any help.
 
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