Bereavement (I don't care about pay) days off for death of a close aunt

[Rawrzxor]

My aunt died last weekend. We had the memorial for her on Sunday. We didn't get home in time for me to get to work yesterday, so I just texted in and took the day. Ever since Sunday, my left arm and heart have intermittently hurt. My heart feels like someone has a vice grip on it, my shoulder feels somewhat sore and like someone's sticking a needle in it, and my left hand goes numb. Not exactly something that would prevent me from working, but, honestly, I just don't even know.

I've never experienced the death of someone close to me. To make matters worse, my mother is a complete wreck. It is her slightly younger sister, after all.

We saw her before that a couple weeks ago. She was nothing but bones... She was 60 pounds...She couldn't walk. Could hardly lift her head. I had nightmares after seeing her like that. I've been having them. My mom gave me a picture that we took with her as a cancer patient, bald, weak, and looking nothing like the aunt that I've known.

Anyway. I was diagnosed with M.D.D., major depressive disorder, recurrent, severe when I was 15. So, you can imagine this is especially not an easy thing for me. I just want to know if I can take a couple more days. I don't care if they pay me or not. I just want to be with my mom who's cried her eyes out so much. She hadn't cried in awhile, since the funeral, then she comes up to me and my brother with the saddest face you've ever seen and starts balling more than I've ever seen her. It's just a terribly sad time right now, and even if they don't allow me to, I'm probably not even able to come in...I was just wondering if it's okay to take a couple days for this, even though my aunt isn't an immediate family member.

Oh, I looked at the other bereavement threads, but I didn't find any specifically answering this question.

 

[barnyard]

Sorry for your loss.

Go see your Doctor and see what he or she says.

 

[CHALLY9TX]

Sorry about your loss. Talk to your sup and be honest. Technically we are not allowed time off for the death of an aunt/uncle which sucks but I know a lot of employees who have taken time off to attend an aunts/uncles funeral. Have you considered taking time off under FMLA?

 

[cheryl]

I'm very sorry for your loss @Rawrzxor. I've lost a few family members over the years so I have some idea how you are feeling right now.

Your physical symptoms are worrisome. Go get checked out by a Dr. I'm serious about this.

A quick search makes it look like bereavement leave isn't available under FMLA http://federalfmla.typepad.com/fmla_blog/2007/04/bereavement_lea.html I don't really know anything about FMLA though, so check it out for yourself.

Seems like your best bet is to talk to someone at your center.

Hang in there.

 

[sortaisle]

I'm very sorry for your loss...your symptoms match those of a pulmonary event like a stroke or heart attack. Get yourself to the doctor to rule that out so you don't become a second tragedy in as many weeks. Nevermind about your aunt dying when you call in tell them about your symptoms and bring in the doctors note and that'll tackle two birds with one stone...GET TO THE DOCTOR FIRST! Good luck

 

[Rawrzxor]

Thanks everyone. I'll go to the doctor. I forgot to mention that she was 43. That's probably the worst thing. She died so young.

 

[Wally]

This may sound odd, but I wanted to work after a loss of a family member. It took my mind of things for a while.

 

[PASinterference]

Sorry for your loss. I've had aunts and uncles that were like second parents to me. I know its tough. Spend some time with your mother and assure her that your aunt is at peace now and doesnt have to endure the pain of this terrible disease anymore. Cancer has taken some good people from alot of us. Hang in there.

 

[Rawrzxor]

I'm very sorry for your loss...your symptoms match those of a pulmonary event like a stroke or heart attack. Get yourself to the doctor to rule that out so you don't become a second tragedy in as many weeks. Nevermind about your aunt dying when you call in tell them about your symptoms and bring in the doctors note and that'll tackle two birds with one stone...GET TO THE DOCTOR FIRST! Good luck

I'm only 24, so I don't think it's that. Although, I guess younger people have heart attacks and strokes sometimes....I'd better go to the doctor.

This may sound odd, but I wanted to work after a loss of a family member. It took my mind of things for a while.

People are not alike, much of the time. I would have gone, as well, if my heart and shoulder weren't in pain and my teary-eyed mother wasn't begging me to stay home with her.

I don't know if the heart/shoulder pain is due to stress or carpel tunnel syndrome/a calcium deposit in my shoulder. I was doing a lot of irregs in the past couple of weeks: more than I have in the past. I'm 129 pounds, so lifting 100-140 pound things is a trial: they only tell one person to go do irregs. My dad said it was probably the later, but who knows. We'll find out this morning

I've also found, in the past, that loading trucks doesn't take my mind off things.

Sorry about your loss. Talk to your sup and be honest. Technically we are not allowed time off for the death of an aunt/uncle which sucks but I know a lot of employees who have taken time off to attend an aunts/uncles funeral. Have you considered taking time off under FMLA?

I double checked, and I'm ineligible for FMLA, because I haven't been with the company 12 months, as of yet; I've been with the company for 10 months and worked 1,000 hours. Looks like they don't factor in college. Thank you for the suggestion, though.

Sorry for your loss. I've had aunts and uncles that were like second parents to me. I know its tough. Spend some time with your mother and assure her that your aunt is at peace now and doesnt have to endure the pain of this terrible disease anymore. Cancer has taken some good people from alot of us. Hang in there.

That's the thing, too. "Oh, no, aunts aren't important enough when they die, so you can't have bereavement." Basically. That's ed up. But, my FT did let me have one day, and Thanksgiving is coming up, tomorrow, anyway. Thing is, I still have a picture of the her that was not her in my wallet: every time I clock in, I see her face, and it puts me in a terrible mood.




Thanks, everyone. And, I guess it is the time of the year to be thankful for what we do have. At least my family is still mostly intact.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

The company has to draw the line somewhere when it comes to bereavement leave; in fact, from what I have been told, ours is one of the more generous among major companies.

 

[Packmule]

Your left arm pain/numbness combined with heart pain sounds like it could be a precursor to a heart attack.
Get to an urgent care facility now. Doc may solve your emotional need for a few days due to medical orders.

 

[DOK]

If pay is not a concern, fmla for sure.

 

[Fragile]

Sorry for your loss. You may qualify for FMLA to help your mom out, or you can probably qualify for disability to deal with your personal issues at which point you'd probably be out until you are ready to come back and your doctor okays it. Go to your doc. Stay strong.