Best (funniest) UPS story you have

Discussion in 'Lighten UPS' started by ineedalaugh, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. ineedalaugh

    ineedalaugh Guest

    OK everyone I need a good laugh, whats the funniest or most unbelievable story that happened in your center. Top this one...we had a driver that had to fill out an injury report because as he made a delivery to a office the guy was bit by a monkey that was with his owner in the office! Yes the driver was a side note to avoid a lawsuit I believe the monkey was offered a seat on the PAS design team...
  2. speeddemon

    speeddemon Guest

    A fellow driver of mine walked up on a customer "choking his chicken " in plain view, through the windows, while attempting a delivery. The customer was at his computer.
  3. disneyworld

    disneyworld Active Member

    One of our drivers walked into a pond while looking at his diad,one flushed his keys down the toilet. As for me,I went into a dentists office on a friday.As I was looking for someone to sign,I was saying "Hello". I heard a voice from upstairs(it was in an old house) say "hello",so I try to follow the voice.I go upstairs,again "hello",and again I get a response "hello" that sounded like it was from downstairs. I go back downstairs and say "hello" again a response from a back room "hello'. As I enter the back room a parrot was staring back at me. For future reference,the office is closed on Fridays.
  4. gripitnripit

    gripitnripit New Member

    We had a driver that was working late in a bad part of town when he was approched by two seedy characters demanding the driver open his package car and give them some packages. The driver calmly pulled his diad out and scanned each one of thier faces, when asked by the two men why he did that his reply was I just sent a scan of your faces directly to police headquaters so i suggest you get away from here! The driver said you never seen anyone run away so fast. Just goes to show you crooks aren't the smartest. We still laugh about that! lol:lol:

  5. I hope he disinfected his don't want any left over "DNA"....
  6. sendagain

    sendagain Member

    We had a guy who knocked over a water bottle in somebody's office; he was referred to as Spaz after that. I also heard of a driver walking into a swimming pool. Then, we once had a guy who took the screws out of another driver's handcart, so that the wheels fell off when he went to use it.

    There was another guy who stopped by a Christmas party and had a few on Christmas Eve, enjoying a little celebration before heading back to the barn. He went into his truck and fell asleep for a couple hours, leaving the manager to wonder why this guy came in long after everyone else was gone.
  7. cashmen

    cashmen Member

    Well, where do i start.....I was working somewhere out in the boonies in AZ back in 2000 and I heard a shotgun going off and I was about 25 miles from the nearest house and this guy was shooting the gun off and as I approached his little ****hole out in the middle of the desert....he approached my vehicle with shotgun in hand and responed "do ya got a pkg for me" I responded "yes, Please dont shoot me" and he said "Oh this isnt for you, Im chasing this damn cow off my land"....DOH:lol:
  8. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    only in america
  9. ditto44

    ditto44 New Member

    We had a driver that wanted to get a vasectomey, but he was really skittish about it so we started teasing him, one morning a cow dehorner came down the belt, we grabbed the driver laid him on the sort belt and acted like we were going to give him a vasectomey right there during the morning sort.
  10. Dfigtree

    Dfigtree New Member

    This is second hand but I believe it to be true. There was the case about twenty years ago in Paramus, NJ of the night shift transvestite (transexual?) computer operator who did not know which bathroom to use so he/she use a garbage can so as not to be discovered which stunk up the place leading to his/her discovery.
  11. browniehound

    browniehound Well-Known Member

    Hey cashmen. you first name dosen't happen to be George or Brian does it?
  12. sendagain

    sendagain Member

    I once had the stick shift in the vehicle come right up out of the floor as I was travelling up a busy residential street; that was quite a shock. I was hurrying to a different hub to drop off late next day air in order to make the flight off the west coast. Talk about feeling some pressure! I managed to get the shifter back into the floor and kept pressure on top of it when I shifted. It reminded me of the old Laurel and Hardy movies when the wheel came off while Laurel was driving.
  13. trickpony1

    trickpony1 Well-Known Member


    Regarding your signature line:

    Who is/was John Bender?
  14. browniehound

    browniehound Well-Known Member

    I'll give you a hint. He's a fictional character in a movie from the 1980's
  15. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club
  16. cashmen

    cashmen Member

    Nope my name is beleive or not, Shawn Casady...I drove 9 yrs in AZ and now im in UTAH for las 3 yrs
  17. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    A couple of years ago we had a driver lose his truck! He was doing a route on the blind.He took a wrong turn and got stuck on an old logging trail. He walked for a couple of hours to reach a phone (no text messaging or cell phone coverage). A supervisor drove out to him and asked him where the truck was. His reply was, "I Don't know". They had to retrace his route from his last stop to find it. He brought back a lot of stops that day.
  18. hot_mom

    hot_mom Guest

    The Might, Mighty UPS
    Has an Awesome, Awesome, P.A.S.
    Load it, Load it, by P.A.L.
    Or...Surely, Surely, you'll go to HELL!
  19. disneyworld

    disneyworld Active Member

    Johnny Dangerously?
  20. browniehound

    browniehound Well-Known Member

    Morelock is correct, its from the breakfast club. Cashmen, I thought maybe you were Brian Cashman, general manager of the New York Yankees