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Conservative vs. Liberal Beliefs
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 862867" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-size: 18px">LIBERALS..................</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"></span>Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?</p><p>A: Change.</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?</p><p>A: You don't. They're born that way.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why is it good to have a Liberal passenger?</p><p>A: You can park in the handicap zone.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?</p><p>A: Elvis has been sighted.</p><p></p><p>A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.</p><p>"Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal?</p><p>Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy?</p><p>A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?</p><p>A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a Liberal with an IQ of 130?</p><p>A: A foursome</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?</p><p>A: Wave to him.</p><p></p><p>Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?</p><p>A: A whine cellar.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?</p><p>A: Thirty minutes of begging.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is the Liberal doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?</p><p>A: Trying to hold on to a thought.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?</p><p>A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?</p><p>A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.</p><p></p><p>A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter".</p><p>So the genie made him a Republican.</p><p></p><p>Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse?</p><p>A: I don't know either.</p><p></p><p>Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?</p><p>A: Some people actually like sewer rats.</p><p></p><p>Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?</p><p>A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?</p><p>A: Its the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?</p><p>A: A Liberal parade.</p><p></p><p>Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberals ear?</p><p>A: Data transfer.</p><p></p><p>Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?</p><p>A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.</p><p></p><p>Q: How do you plant dope?</p><p>A: Bury a Liberal.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?</p><p>A: The sack.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the definition of a Liberal running for Congress for the first time?</p><p>A: A mouse trying to become a rat.</p><p></p><p>Q: What's the difference between God and a Liberal?</p><p>A: God knows He's not a Liberal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 862867, member: 1246"] [SIZE=5]LIBERALS.................. [/SIZE]Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts? A: Change. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why is it good to have a Liberal passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted. A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!" Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner. Q: What do you call a Liberal with an IQ of 130? A: A foursome Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree? A: Wave to him. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals? A: A whine cellar. Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging. Q: What is the Liberal doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips? A: From trying to blow out light bulbs. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican. Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse? A: I don't know either. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat? A: Some people actually like sewer rats. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.? A: Its the only city that is easy enough for them to spell. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A Liberal parade. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberals ear? A: Data transfer. Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a Liberal. Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure? A: The sack. Q: What's the definition of a Liberal running for Congress for the first time? A: A mouse trying to become a rat. Q: What's the difference between God and a Liberal? A: God knows He's not a Liberal. [/QUOTE]
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