Customers: How NOT to get your delivery

[oldngray]

Oh I should start posting some of the notes they leave me. I always take pictures of them to share with friends and family because they're hilarious. Mostly because no one knows how to spell in the ghetto. They spell stuff phonetically. One recent note said "Please live my paqage nest door. I had to live out" I assume they meant "Please leave my package next door, because I had to leave today". This is the ghetto. Ignorance is in abundance.

Its better when they aren't even home and you can just leave a notice and scoot. I got really tired of the standard ghetto greeting of "Who is it? What do you want?" shouted from some fat person sitting on the couch across the room in one breath. Without coming to door or giving you time to answer the first question before screaming the second.

 

[bumped]

Oh I should start posting some of the notes they leave me. I always take pictures of them to share with friends and family because they're hilarious. Mostly because no one knows how to spell in the ghetto. They spell stuff phonetically. One recent note said "Please live my paqage nest door. I had to live out" I assume they meant "Please leave my package next door, because I had to leave today". This is the ghetto. Ignorance is in abundance.

I do the same thing. My friends that work in their cubicle wish I could wear a camera so they could watch. Kind of like the Truman Show.

 

[bumped]

Its better when they aren't even home and you can just leave a notice and scoot. I got really tired of the standard ghetto greeting of "Who is it? What do you want?" shouted from some fat person sitting on the couch across the room in one breath. Without coming to door or giving you time to answer the first question before screaming the second.

No, Its

Customer...Who is it?

Me...UPS

Customer...Who is it?

Me..UUPPSSS

Customer...Who is it?

Me..UUUUUUPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!!

Customer...Who?

Me...delivery notice, come back tomorrow and have the same conversation.

 

[oldngray]

No, Its

Customer...Who is it?

Me...UPS

Customer...Who is it?

Me..UUPPSSS

Customer...Who is it?

Me..UUUUUUPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!!

Customer...Who?

Me...delivery notice, come back tomorrow and have the same conversation.

Yell "Police!" then stand back from door to avoid the bullets. Or in California "Immigration!" and watch the house empty as a dozen people climb out the windows.

 

[Back first]

Because he made up the story to fit the theme of this thread, which should be retitled "Poor Service".

Why is it poor service because customer did nit restrain their dog. I have had many close encounters with angry dogs. Not worth taking a chance . Try again tomorrow.

 

[Marne Vet]

I hate that too, and I've stopped yelling through doors to tell people who I am. By the 3rd time they yell "WHO IS IT?!" the notice is being left, and I'm walking back to the truck. Get your lazy ass up to come see who it is. Who do you think it is?! The Police will announce themselves, and a guy there to rob you won't tell you the truth, so even when I say "UPS" I could be lying. The only common sense thing to do is come to the door, and look out the window before opening it. Plus, every time I hear "I thought you were the Police" I always say "Is there a reason you're worried the Police would be knocking on your door? Should I be concerned?" Also, "You knock like the Police!" Is another one of my favorites. One, how do you know how they knock? Do they come here a lot? Two, well I used to be Police so I'm sorry that some habits are hard to break.

 

[bumped]

I knock loud enough it will rattle their teeth. Response from some people is that its either the police or UPS at the door.

I also enjoy when people won't get their ass to the door, but will open up the window and ask who it is. The big brown truck is right in front of your house. Who the hell do you think it is.

 

[bumped]

Also, Amazon sells doorbells too.

 

[joeboodog]

You can also add "Wuz in it?" and "Whozit for?" to the list of twenty questions.

 

[PT Car Washer]

Customers that are unruly get delivered last.

Your dogs outside, and you say the dog never bites. I tell them if the dog bites me I will have it put down. Its not 1975 anymore.

I rather enjoy the people that don't shovel, and its a driver release. I put that package so far away from the door that they have to walk out in their socks to go get it always on the other side of the door swing.

People have enough time to play video games instead of shoveling. I tell them Amazon sells shovels too.

Or put the oversize overweight package right in front of the door so they cannot open the door from the inside.

 

[gman042]

During peak I drive down this dead end road. Make the corner by the cop's house. He gives a friendly wave. Make the delivery at the end of the street and head back out. There is a guy standing in the middle of the road with his dogs. His hands are on his hips so I know that I am in for a confrontation.
I roll up along side him on the driver's side.
The gist of it was he felt that I was going too fast on HIS road, though there are a dozen other folks that live on that same road, including the cop.
I stated that I was going 24 mph. I just happen to check my speed periodically. He said it was 20mph on HIS road, though there is no where on that entire stretch of road that it is posted. Informing him of this fact only served to infuriate him more.
He wanted the name of my boss. I told him that I would be glad to call her for him and reached for my phone. No dice. That shut him down.
Needless to say that IF he EVER does get a delivery, he will suffer the very height of inconvenience before he procures his package.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

"I apologize, sir, it won't happen again".

(Now get the hell out of my way!)

 

[wayfair]

Had a lady call and complain that I didn't knock/ring, that she found the delivery notice in the bushes and that she needed that check....(unemployment/child support) demanded a second attempt from OMS... I told OMS sorry can't, oh and by the way, there is no bushes on the second story of the apartment building...

 

[Marne Vet]

Had a lady waiting on hair products one time. The genius decided to start her hair that day BEFORE I delivered the rest of the necessary product needed to complete the job. Problem was her bell was broken at her Apt Complex, so I left a delivery notice and left. She started calling the Center flipping out on the OMS girls, and then my center manager. After about the 30th call my center manager calls me and asks me to do him a favor and go back. He wasn't instructing me, but said "Can you please go back? This lady won't stop calling and cursing the girls out". OK, sure, no problem. He tells me that I need to walk down the left side of the building to the side steps, and knock on the first window to the right of the door because her bell was broken. I go back, knock on the window, and immediately hear "Finally motherfu*ker! I'll be right there you fu*ker!" Great, now I'm anticipating a screaming match, and I was correct. She opens the door and starts screaming at me. I calmly say "Ma'am, I was here earlier and rang your bell..." she cuts me off and screams "MY FU*KING BELL IS BROKEN!!!!!" "OK ma'am, now how am I suppose to know that? You didn't put a note on the front door telling anyone that your door was broken, so how would I or anyone else know?" "JUST GIVE ME MY FU*KING STUFF!" No problem. I hand her the box, and then the DIAD and tell her to sign. Soon as she finishes signing she throws the DIAD pen at me striking me just below the eye. I mean just below to where a centimeter more and I'm stabbed in the eye. I lost it. I started screaming at her and threatening to call the Police. I told her NEVER use my company again because she'll NEVER get another delivery from me. Ignorant POS almost put a hole in my eye because she was too fu*king stupid to leave a note on the front of her Apt Complex with instructions on how to reach her since her bell was broken and she knew it!

 

[bumped]

When I get the "I didn't order nuttin'" I just say ok and turn around and walk away. They always call me back to ask about it. Then they "remember" ordering something. I'm not arguing with them and don't really care if they get it. I've had plenty of times I've RTS something their kids said they didn't order

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Wow.....and people tell me I have customer service issues....

 

[bumped]

Wow.....and people tell me I have customer service issues....

Work in the hood. It's a whole different counrty

 

[Marne Vet]

When I get the "I didn't order nuttin'" I just say ok and turn around and walk away. They always call me back to ask about it. Then they "remember" ordering something. I'm not arguing with them and don't really care if they get it. I've had plenty of times I've RTS something their kids said they didn't order

I love when they act surprise to get a package, and it's coming from the State Prison. Oh, sorry, Pookie forgot to call ahead and tell you he was sending some of his Arts and Crafts home from the prison craft center. Here, sign right here. I'm sure you'll have more of these in the future once little Money G grows up.

 

[oldngray]

I love when they act surprise to get a package, and it's coming from the State Prison. Oh, sorry, Pookie forgot to call ahead and tell you he was sending some of his Arts and Crafts home from the prison craft center. Here, sign right here. I'm sure you'll have more of these in the future once little Money G grows up.

I had a lot of packages from the Correctional Reception Center where the state shipped new inmates clothes back to families. Same addresses would have half the family going in and out of prison. Occasionally I would have packages from other prisons but that was usually when their little angel got transferred to a higher security prison and was allowed fewer personal items.

 

[Marne Vet]

How about Dish Network CALLTAGS in the hood! Talk about a pointless stop. 99% of these are either Not In, Not Ready, or they tell me "Oh, we're paying the bill tomorrow so we're keeping it". I had 8 of these damn tags yesterday. 8 NR1's. What a complete waste of time. I do like DR'ing the empty return boxes they ship. To me that's a stop that gets left no matter what. The house could be burned to the ground, DR FRONT DOOR. Cya package. Next!