Dear Beloved Leader

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Jan 6, 2012.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I think that the proper term for Mr. Smith should now be "Dear Beloved Leader". I don't want to steal the departed Dear Leader's thunder, and Smith is genuinely "beloved" by myself and others for all that he has done to his employees. When Fred departs us, I can foresee a similar outpouring of "genuine" emotion from those of us that love him so very much.

    You know, planes flying in formation, black tape over your badge etc. There are some eerie similarities. Fred might even wear elevator shoes because he's also got Short Man's Syndrome.


    I call the 700 with the 8 foot tall upright pic of him on top so I can knock it off when I hit the bridge with it.
  3. P1 Lates

    P1 Lates New Member

    I think our Beloved Leader will be reincarnated into one of those pandas he like to fly around the world for fun.
  4. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I thought he liked to fly politicians around the world for fun. Oops, that's for profit.
  5. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    That would be highly disrespectful to him. Perhaps he can be dropped from 40,000 feet instead.
  6. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Fred got a lot of mileage out of those pandas, didn't he? We all must remember that Dear Beloved Leader Smith does nothing for fun...only for profit.
  7. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Is it wrong to get a little free publicity out of a humanitarian act?
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    No, but Smith is no humanitarian. Just ask anyone who works for him.
  9. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    A pandatarian?
  10. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I think that the powers in Memphis need to step-up the propaganda campaign and get us properly motivated and "re-educated". In other words, we need to get Purple all over again. At precisely 0600 local time, huge electronic billboards will come to life in every station, and loudspeakers will blare the messages of the day. "NO SERVICE FAILURES", "DELIVER THE PURPLE PROMISE", and "WE LOVE YOU DEAR BELOVED LEADER!!".

    This will be mandatory, and off the clock. At the end of the celebration, purple frosted cupcakes and grape Kool-Aid will be passed around and at precisely 0700, an 8 foot tall (thanks, Downtrodden) image of Dear Beloved Leader will be raised and we will all bow repeatedly toward Memphis. The image of Dear Beloved Leader shall be oriented in such a way that when employees gaze upon the image of the exalted Smith that their direction shall be pointed toward our Purple Meccah, the jewel of the universe....Memphis, TN.

    The image shall then be lowered, and all employees must then consult their Service Guides for 15 minutes of reflection and solace on what it means to be a follower of Dear Beloved Leader and the absolute privilege it is to deliver his golden packages for a pittance.

    Oh, how very lucky we are. Praise you, oh Dear Beloved Leader. We are not worthy.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2012
  11. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

    Hanging right next to all the 20 yr. employee's banners.


    Actually, I think getting publicity out of a humanitarian act kind of negates the humanitarian act. Kind of like doing pre-meditated "random" act of kindness, it's good that you did it, but it lacks the "randomness".
  13. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Kind of like supporting the United Way very publicly, then having your employees fund the support.
  14. Ghostwriter

    Ghostwriter New Member

    There is no such thing as FREE. If you donate to a cause (etc) or commit a humanitarian act- would it bother you if someone else received the credit? So, in short you will receive nothing as your (exampled) employer receives the credit.