Fred's Myth
Nonhyphenated American
In the interest of diversity (we know how big Fedex is on that subject) and in order to make a name for himself, a Managing Director hired a group of cannibals.
The Human Resources Director told them to report to the lunchroom for orientation, but cautioned them not to eat any employees there.
"Oh, we're not like THAT!" the cannibals responded. They completed orientation and training, and were put to work as couriers.
Six weeks later, they were all called in to the Managing Directors office.
"I just wanted to praise you on your successful transition. Productivity has increased, late deliveries are down, customers are happier, and our bottom line has improved! Bravo Zulu's to all of you. I have just one problem. It seems one of our CSA's has vanished...do any of you know anything about that?
They all vehemently denied any knowledge.
The MD then thanked them again before dismissing them, claiming he was just practicing due diligence in questioning them.
As the group returned to work, the ringleader turned to the others, "OK, which one of you idiots ate the CSA?" One of the lesser cannibals then sheepishly admitted he had.
"Dammit, we've been here for six weeks eating nothing but managers! Now you had to screw up and eat someone that actually DOES something around here, and draw attention to us!"
The Human Resources Director told them to report to the lunchroom for orientation, but cautioned them not to eat any employees there.
"Oh, we're not like THAT!" the cannibals responded. They completed orientation and training, and were put to work as couriers.
Six weeks later, they were all called in to the Managing Directors office.
"I just wanted to praise you on your successful transition. Productivity has increased, late deliveries are down, customers are happier, and our bottom line has improved! Bravo Zulu's to all of you. I have just one problem. It seems one of our CSA's has vanished...do any of you know anything about that?
They all vehemently denied any knowledge.
The MD then thanked them again before dismissing them, claiming he was just practicing due diligence in questioning them.
As the group returned to work, the ringleader turned to the others, "OK, which one of you idiots ate the CSA?" One of the lesser cannibals then sheepishly admitted he had.
"Dammit, we've been here for six weeks eating nothing but managers! Now you had to screw up and eat someone that actually DOES something around here, and draw attention to us!"
