Divorce, UPS style

[Docparcel79]

i think our job as UPS drivers puts a strain on a marriage. I've only been married for 4 years and have a newborn son.. It's hard on my wife being home all day with a newborn, and I'm gone for about 9.5 hours out of the day. Not to mention I don't even get to spend time with my son. It's almost like I'm a weekend dad, and I'M NOT EVEN DIVORCED!!!

 

[diesel96]

Someone once wanted to break up with me b/c I didn't want to wear their "pearl necklace."

Well some of the fun is you don't announce your intentions.....Just Do It(Nike TM)...Anyhow the "Tube Snake Boogie" should be sufficient at least by the second or third date.

BTW fellas....What are you going to do with 72 virgins w/o a Hugh Hefner Mansion and a pool full of water noodles. Playing Benny Hill music running around the house of ALLAH half naked will only go so far.

 

[Braveheart]

I know of at least 10 buddies at UPS that have gone through it. Mandatory overtime, go home all stressed out and worn out. Hard as hell to get a day off, no such thing as a half day, or leaving early. Only 2 hour "requests" per month and zero in Nov and Dec. No vacations between Thanksgiving and Christmas much less any days off at all during the same time. It is tough to keep a relationship going when your never home.

 

[ups_vette]

I know of at least 10 buddies at UPS that have gone through it. Mandatory overtime, go home all stressed out and worn out. Hard as hell to get a day off, no such thing as a half day, or leaving early. Only 2 hour "requests" per month and zero in Nov and Dec. No vacations between Thanksgiving and Christmas much less any days off at all during the same time. It is tough to keep a relationship going when your never home.

Gosh Mr Braveheart, I'm truly sorry you were mislead when you started working for UPS. Evidently you were told that overtime was not mandatory, that you could take any day off you wished, whenever you wished, that you could leave work early to spend time with your family, and Nov and Dec were slow times at UPS.

Perhaps you ahould have investigated the details of working for UPS before you graced the company with the privlege of having you as an employee, and this misunderstanding of what is required of you would have been eliminated. But that is all water beneath the bridge now. There is a solution to your situation and you know what it is, however I'm sure you discount that solution because of the excellent pay and benefits you currently recieve.

 

[hseofpayne]

Gosh Mr Braveheart, I'm truly sorry you were mislead when you started working for UPS. Evidently you were told that overtime was not mandatory, that you could take any day off you wished, whenever you wished, that you could leave work early to spend time with your family, and Nov and Dec were slow times at UPS.

Perhaps you ahould have investigated the details of working for UPS before you graced the company with the privlege of having you as an employee, and this misunderstanding of what is required of you would have been eliminated. But that is all water beneath the bridge now. There is a solution to your situation and you know what it is, however I'm sure you discount that solution because of the excellent pay and benefits you currently recieve.

Dang Mr Noheart, I thought this was a forum we could discuss our issues with fellow UPS'ers without personal ridicule. How about some advice on how to deal with the stress of the job instead of suggesting we give up our jobs. For most of us quitting is not an option, but trying to improve our working conditions is an option. Our jobs are a lot like marriage, we go into it thinking we won't end up like all the other drivers we know, unhappy at work and at home. But there are those few drivers I know who are happy at work and at home; those are the people I want to hear from. How do they do it?

 

[hseofpayne]

Dang, I thought it was 72
virgins! I guess IE got a hold of them too!!

I would prefer 72 freaks myself; who wants to spend eternity trying to teach 72 virgins how to wear that pearl necklace?!!!

 

[upsdude]

Dang Mr Noheart, I thought this was a forum we could discuss our issues with fellow UPS'ers without personal ridicule. How about some advice on how to deal with the stress of the job instead of suggesting we give up our jobs. For most of us quitting is not an option, but trying to improve our working conditions is an option. Our jobs are a lot like marriage, we go into it thinking we won't end up like all the other drivers we know, unhappy at work and at home. But there are those few drivers I know who are happy at work and at home; those are the people I want to hear from. How do they do it?

The way I see it some management folks are very happily married, to UPS. For the life of them they can’t understand why others wouldn’t want the same bride. Think about it, they’re always with the little woman, 24-7.

I knew full well that going to work for UPS would involve a huge personal sacrifice. Long hours, tired bones and joints. I also knew the financial rewards would be good. What I didn’t expect was a total personal sacrifice. As the years went by many of us “hourly” folks asked the union to negotiate some relief, 95’s etc. The union and UPS agreed to contracts giving us the ability to ask for ZERO, NONE, NO overtime two days a month for 10 months out of twelve. I follow the rules and make my request 2 days in advance, now 5 days in advance, and by golly the king of planning (UPS) can’t seem to make it happen. The SPARCS report (you operations guys know what that is) shows me being superman on road day in and day out. But for some reason I must have “laid down” on the days I asked for NO overtime. Gosh, I really need to work on that I guess.

I’m very happily married to a woman that fully supports me no matter my job or income. Sure, there are times that she wished I didn’t work so much but she deals with it. I in return fully support her and the things she wants to do or where she chooses to work. I don’t see UPS causing my marriage any problems.

Sadly UPS hasn’t figured out or refuses to acknowledge how productive “Happy” employees can be. Most Fortune 500 companies are way ahead of the curve and make billons with very productive and HAPPY employees. UPS employees have already proven how hard working and productive they can be. Just think how unstoppable the UPS machine could be if the employees felt a true sense of support from Atlanta.

 

[ups_vette]

Dang Mr Noheart, I thought this was a forum we could discuss our issues with fellow UPS'ers without personal ridicule. How about some advice on how to deal with the stress of the job instead of suggesting we give up our jobs. For most of us quitting is not an option, but trying to improve our working conditions is an option. Our jobs are a lot like marriage, we go into it thinking we won't end up like all the other drivers we know, unhappy at work and at home. But there are those few drivers I know who are happy at work and at home; those are the people I want to hear from. How do they do it?

Golly gee Mr Payne, I would have thought a person such as you would have realized at this stage of their life that stress is a self inflicted emotion. Looks like I overestimated you.

Those drivers you mentioned that are unhappy at work and unhappy at home need to re-evaluate themselves and determine exactly what it is they want from life. Their time on this earth is limited, and being unhappy at work and at home makes one believe that there is nothing that makes them happy. I feel sorry for them having to go through life in a continous state of unhappiness.

Could you explaine why quitting is not an option? There must be something more important to you and your family that you continue working at a job that fills your life with stress. Is it the excellent pay and benefits you are used to receiving, and have based your lifestyle on continuing to receive that pay and benefits? Would having to lower your lifestyle cause greater stress than you are having now? Life is a series of choises and when you make a choise that causes as much stress as you say you have, it's time to make a different choise, unless that other choise would be more stressful.

 

[ups_vette]

The way I see it some management folks are very happily married, to UPS. For the life of them they can’t understand why others wouldn’t want the same bride. Think about it, they’re always with the little woman, 24-7.

I’m very happily married to a woman that fully supports me no matter my job or income. Sure, there are times that she wished I didn’t work so much but she deals with it. I in return fully support her and the things she wants to do or where she chooses to work. I don’t see UPS causing my marriage any problems..

upsdude.....I agree with you that SOME management are very happily married to UPS. However I also know that there are SOME hourly people happily married to UPS. I know of many married drivers who after working 10 or more hours stop in the local gim mill for a few hours after work before going home to the little lady, giving the excuse they had to work late. I'm sure you know of drivers who beg for additional work everyday and would work 24 hours a day if possible.

I'm glad you have an understand wife like I have. My wife and family always came first. If there were a conflict with my work ( as a manager) and personal life, I always found a way to work it out so neither suffered. Next month will be our 48th anniversity. When I retired from UPS with 32 years, I had been married to the same beautiful woman for 35 years. So I know first hand that one can have both a happy marriage and a sucessful carreer.

 

[Whatdidbrowndoforme]

When I first came to UPS mostly everyone in my department were either divorced, getting a divorce, or remarried. I had just got engaged when I started with the company. 9 years later I found a mixture of departments where divorce seemed to be the golden rule, or marriages that were together out of convenience. Not to mention the number of circumstances where UPSers were so intertwined with themselves and the company that their marriage fell apart. Sexual harassment, and affairs in certain areas seemed to be the norm. HS all over again..

It's not up to a company to provide a balance between work and life, because the company views you as an asset, it's up to YOU to make the choices you need to make.

Some UPSers have strong marriages and stay in the company
Others see their marriages fall apart, or live lies pretending to be happy...

That being said, I had a choice between my marriage and staying in an unhealthy environment.

Happy to say the marriage survived...

 

[upsdude]

ups-vette......

Congrats on the 48 years! Also congrats on the 32 with brown. Hey, a least when you "Divorced" UPS they have to send YOU a check every month! LOL.

 

[UPS Lifer]

Got to agree with ups_ vette - I also know first hand you can have it all. I was with UPS for 36 years and the same with my wife.
Oh ...we still are going strong working on 37 now!
I was a Teamster for 7 of those years and that was a lot easier than being in mgmt the rest of the time. But one of the keys is doing your best to leave the job at work. There are ways to do that....if you are in mgmt. Train people to take responsibility when you are not there. The more time you spend training people the less time you worry (stress) about what is going wrong....partly because it ain't going wrong because you trained someone to handle it!

So the real key is to continually train people to do your job and take responsibility for their actions. Successful drivers do the same with their customers. Train them to help and be ready. Listen for the package car to pull up...the inside folks should understand that they will accomplish more if they work together! Use the buddy system!

and when you are home you selll your family on all the good things that UPS provides and how much better off we are because of them... and arn't we lucky!!!!!

 

[feeder53]

I worked at a union freight barn and the divorce rates seem to be the same. My girlfriend does not like the hours but the money is her favorite. I think the only work that has a higher rate is the military.....

 

[tiegirl]

Wow, some of you guys can be hard on a girl. It is a shirt not a dress and it is new. Fashions do have a tendency to recycle. I really am a good cook. Yeah, it would be nice to have a fellow but to make a living for my son and I, I only need to depend on me. I was only trying to make a point that your job is not the reason why two people cannot get along, it is the two people themselves and how they relate to one another. If you love someone, you will also love what they do to make a living.

 

[intent to term]

The people in my area demonstrate that Polygamy can work. You can be married to a spouse and UPS at the same time and not divorce either. You may be tired as heck, but it can be done. Sounds like good fodder for a 20/20 special

 

[bluehdmc]

I may be naive and idealistic but to me "pre-nup" means "I don't trust you." Probably not a good way to start a lifetime marriage "commitment."

There are other reasons for a prenup. ex: I own a house that's paid for and other investments if I was to get remarried and pass away I would want them to go to my children (their inheritance) also someone I am marrying may have the same concerns.

 

[tiegirl]

Well said, scratch. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror. It is not external factors such as your job, just take a look in the mirror.

I have to agree with brownmonster on this one. I don't think its the job, its how we deal with our spouses when we get home. We do work long hours, get stressed out, and are physically worn out. But this is true about people in other occupations as well. I think that people just tend to give up too easy and go the divorce route after a while. The keys to a good marriage are to do things together, trust each other, communicate well, and compromise when conflicts come up.

I dated my wife for three years before we were married 25 years ago this coming June. My UPS salary has given us a custom built house, let her stay home and raise our two sons when they were small, she gets a new car every 4-5 years, and we get to travel some. Too many people tend to look on the negative sides of life instead of the positive things.

 

[trplnkl]

Well said, scratch. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror. It is not external factors such as your job, just take a look in the mirror.

Not only the mirror, sometimes it's the face across the table. Everyone's situation, even if it sounds exactly the same as another's, is unique. The difference is in how the people in your situation handles the stress, hours away from home, the fatigue at the end of the day and every other little thing that comes up. One can only do it alone for a period of time, they must have help from their mate.

 

[jw55wags]

Thats a cute story moreluck!! Thanks for sharing. Married 31 yrs.

 

[Big Babooba]

Did she get the gas station or the hotel?

You left out convenience store & liquor store.