Do you know this guy?

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by SignatureRequired, Mar 18, 2007.

  1. UPS Driver
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    William Rosario
    Interviewed by Paul Vee
    I am a "Full-Time Package Car Driver" for UPS. I've been doing it for ten
    years. I started because I was a student and I needed a part-time job. I went
    for an interview for what I thought was "Part-Time Loaders." When I got there
    they said it was for drivers. So I filled out the application, and they called
    me back three days later.
    It was the first real job ever in my life and, at the beginning, it was pretty
    overwhelming. UPS is heavily fortified. You've got to show a pass to get in the
    gate. So like, every day, you go in, you change into your uniform in the locker
    room, and then you go downstairs for the morning meeting. Every day there's a
    meeting in the morning to tell you what you did wrong the day before. Every day.
    They get you all together in a group, all the drivers and everybody, and then
    they yank you in the office and yell at you personally for about five minutes.
    It's like roll call, like, you know, a police station show. Except they just
    yell at you. At UPS, you're never told what you did well.

    They're like a military organization. They check you over for appearance,
    everything. They make sure your shoes shine, your tee shirts can only be white
    or brown--they can't be black, your socks have to be brown or black. Your shoes
    have to be polished.

    Then, after the meeting, you go to your truck, which is already loaded and full
    of gas. All you do is drive and deliver. You have a route set up for you every
    day, with a specific number of delivery and pick-up accounts you do. And you
    have to deliver every single package. If you bring one package back without
    attempting to deliver it, they can fire you right there.

    But, the most important thing is: "Don't spill your coffee." You know, don't
    spill coffee in the truck. The most important thing is to not spill hot coffee
    when you're driving. Forget the UPS rules, just don't spill coffee. That is the
    unwritten number one law of driving a truck.

    And you know, the service you give people all depends on how they tip you at
    Christmas. People who don't tip you at Christmas, you **** them. They get
    dropped off late in the day and picked up early. Or, you drop 'em off and pick
    'em up at the same time. The people who have coffee and doughnuts, and the
    people who have cute women working there, you deliver them first.

    Zippy Printers are the worst ****ing account in the world. They're ****. They
    gave me a bottle of Asti Spumante for Christmas. These people should give me a
    hundred dollars, easy. They're a pain in the ass. They want an early delivery,
    they want a late pickup. These people, they pretend they're your friend, but one
    problem, they're on the phone, calling in major complaints against you. It's
    bull****.

    But some people give me great stuff for Christmas. Newland Candy gave me five
    bottles of great wine. And then there's a place called All-time Hardware on my
    route now. They let you use their phone. I call everybody I know. They have a
    television, they have coffee. They have doughnuts and bagels every morning. And
    they have good bathrooms. That's what you really learn at UPS: who has a good
    bathroom, who has a clean bathroom, and who has a paper, and who has porno for
    the bathroom.

    You run into a lot of porno in bathrooms, especially in industrial
    places--factories and things like that. Cresti and Sons had some of the most
    bizarre porno I'd ever seen in my life. Stacks and stacks of it. And the
    Desposito Tool Company is a prime stop. Always coffee cakes and doughnuts in the
    morning, hot coffee and two stalls, which are both very clean, and on each
    toilet, in each stall, at least a foot-high stack of current, good porno. Things
    like Leg Show, Gent, Club--good porn--not Playboy. Double-D Cup. [Laughs] And
    there's somebody who has a major foot fetish who gets something called
    Toe-Sucker Magazine.

    Normally, you work around eleven hours a day. Average is around ten hours a day.
    The most stops I've ever done in one day was at Christmas, once, like 240, with
    a helper. That's 240 separate doors and there's guys who go out on cars at
    Christmas with 400 stops and two helpers. When you get a helper, and you're the
    driver, you're like the captain of the ship. You're Kurtz. [Laughs] You're
    Captain Kirk, and you slave the **** out of your helper, usually. Although I
    guess it depends a little bit on how they treat you. If they're pricks, you
    slave the **** out of them. I had a helper who was a nice guy. We used to smoke
    pot and get coffee every morning. But basically, they're totally dependent upon
    you for the day, so if you get somebody who's a prick, you slave 'em. You drop
    'em off in, like, a three-block area with a hand-truck and say "I'll pick you
    up." Then, you go and get coffee.

    Sometimes I start the day and I just realize I can't do it. I can't keep
    working. A couple of times, I called 'em, told 'em they had to come get me. I
    said I was sick. They loved that. But usually, when I'm out there, I just do
    everything I can to not actually work. I mean, on my stops, I watch television,
    make telephone calls, flirt with secretaries, call my girlfriend, call my
    friends, go shopping, read the newspaper, go swimming in the summer at a motel
    pool.

    You can get caught at this stuff. I've already had three trials. One was the
    "Milk Shake Trial" for getting a milk shake. One was for insubordination. And
    one was for wearing a tee shirt. I was wearing a Bob Marley tee shirt, a white
    tee shirt, in the summer. Somebody ratted me out for the tee shirt, and we had a
    supervisor who didn't like me and this other guy, so he followed us. He was
    jealous that we went to a pool every day cause we had great tans, and he was
    :censored2:. So he hid in the parking lot. He didn't even say anything to us. He just
    watched us and went back to UPS and filed a report. And then they filed a
    complaint with the union.

    So I had these trials. They were held on work days, you know, by appointment.
    And at the trials there was my Division Manager, my Manager, the Supervisor,
    myself and two union representatives. Like Nuremburg. And I had to explain
    myself. But I got off every time. I mean, we're Teamsters, and the only thing
    they really will fire you for at UPS is stealing packages or being drunk on the
    job. Now I've done both of those, but I've never been caught.

    And my relationship with my supervisors is generally pretty workable. It's
    functional. But you can never trust them because they're company people. And the
    managers at UPS are worse. UPS treats their own people--the managers and
    supervisors--worse than they even treat their drivers. It's like the theology is
    "**** rolls downhill." So you can never trust anyone, and every driver has this
    attitude. You know, it's "us against them." Totally.

    Some of the other drivers are decent, though. Some aren't. I've met nice guys at
    work. I've met decent people. I've had some of them to my house for dinner. And
    I love to drive. That's my favorite thing. I live to drive. But do I like the
    work? No. There are too many hazards: accidents, sprained ankles, disc problems
    in my back, massive wear and tear on your body from carrying all these packages,
    stress, anxiety--I've had dreams about this job. Anxiety dreams. And I've never
    been robbed, but lots of guys I work with get robbed. The guys who work in
    Passaic and stuff like that. And there's auto accidents. And on Halloween, they
    throw rocks at the truck. In Passaic, they throw rocks and bottles. In Clifton,
    they throw eggs.

    I've been chased by dogs. When you're chased, you gotta run back to the truck as
    fast as you can. Always run to the truck. And slam the door. I haven't ever been
    caught by a dog, but I know somebody else who got attacked and ended up in the
    hospital. I've learned a lot about dogs at UPS. Nice dogs, bad dogs.

    And it's hot in the summer. You will literally lose five, six pounds in August.
    I drop every year. It's physical work. I mean, you could never do this job for
    thirty years. There are guys who do it, but they end up with major physical
    disability. I'd like to stay another year or two, then I'm leaving. I want to go
    back to school and study Buddhism, or psychology, which is really what I like.

    Besides, I have a problem with authority figures. I hate wearing a uniform and
    dealing with people who are real *******s. I hate having to deal with someone
    that you can't stand, five days a week and having to take their ****. You cannot
    say a word at UPS. If somebody treats you like **** and calls you any name they
    want, says this or that to you, you cannot say a thing cause, in UPS's eyes, the
    customer is always right. I hate having to eat crow.

    But I've gotten laid because of the job. I deliver to a lot of womens' clothing
    stores. Like I used to do a shopping mall on one route. And there's lots and
    lots of forty-year-old divorced women, thirty eight and forty--really still cute
    and really still hot--really nice, really sweet. I've gone to dinner with them,
    I've gone to their house. But you know, no divorcee ever greeted me at the door
    in her undies, or anything like that. I always had to set it up for later. And
    I've heard plenty of stories about guys having sex on the job, but I think most
    of those guys are liars.
     
  2. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    my 1st guess: New Jersey

    my 2nd guess: New York
     
  3. rockymtnupser

    rockymtnupser rockymtnupser

    I dont care where hes from I like him.
     
  4. Dutch Dawg

    Dutch Dawg Active Member

    I'd like to believe he's the creation of someone's overactive imagination.

    If in reality he exists... perhaps management will be successful on their next attempt to fire him.
     
  5. upsdude

    upsdude Well-Known Member

    Ditto:thumbup1:
     
  6. tieguy

    tieguy Banned

    He's listed enough customers to give himself away.
     
  7. trickpony1

    trickpony1 Well-Known Member

    Don't you know the KGB, CIA, Secret Service, FBI, and the 5th Special Forces will be looking in on this tomorrow morning.
     
  8. cino321

    cino321 Active Member

    That's been posted numerous times on this forum, yeah the guy is a jerk. He is from Jersey.
     
  9. local804

    local804 Well-Known Member

    hmmm......
     
  10. sendagain

    sendagain Member

    He's probably not real. Who would actually give this dope a Christmas present?
     
  11. dragracer66

    dragracer66 Active Member

    I did a google search on 2 of those named business's and they both turn up in Posquotank county North Carolina. Also what is the purpose of that thread????
     
  12. disneyworld

    disneyworld Active Member

    Damn it, the secrets out. There's a rat amongst us.
     
  13. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member


    My question is who could smoke dope and then go to work? Ive always heard it makes you tired forgetful and hungry. I guess the donuts and bagels must help?
     
  14. It is unfortunate that someone would have this attitude and continue to work for the company. Just leave. I chose to work for UPS, i believe in taking care of my custy's. The long hours and dealing with unpleasant people is par for the course. I want to expose this clown and possibly dispose of him.
     
  15. steelheader69

    steelheader69 The Fishing UPS Guy

    Yup, guy sounds like a piece of work. Funny I don't have anything like the above where I work. There are times where it's tough when you get to work, but I haven't had the military attitude. Hell, the "spill coffee" scenerio makes me laugh. They even installed coffee holders in my car for me. LOL. Has about 20 years worth of spilled coffee on the dash now (from previous driver, I try to keep it clean but hard through all the buildup lol).

    I don't be nice for Xmas presents. That's hilarious. I give all my customers the same service, even the ones who aren't that nice. Guys like this give UPS drivers a bad name amongst some of our customers out there (yet, I know there is guys out there like him/her).
     
  16. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I think he exemplifies the true spirit of the everyday UPS driver.
    His honesty, his courage, he just tells it like it is.


    We should all strive to learn from him, and live up to his vision.
     
  17. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    I love your sarcasm,check out the "what would you do" thread for more on this
     
  18. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    You seem to have spent more effort and time composing your diatribe than you do at your job.
    Maybe, you just had to vent.
    If you do not like or wish to do your job,then please do yourself a favor and quit.
    Personally, I think your post is bogus. But, I have been wrong before.
     
  19. Channahon

    Channahon New Member

    Yeah, I know you. I've fired drivers like you over the years.
    Pot smoking - yes
    Coming to work drunk - yes
    Stealing - yes
    Sex on UPS time - yes
    Stealing time from UPS - yes
    Driver got their jobs back - NONE
    Look on their faces - priceless
     
  20. For the people that are taking shots at me Mr. SignatureRequired, i found this "interview" on the internet. This is not my personal diary. Ive been driving for a decade and i actually enjoy my career at UPS.