MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Dear Team Members,
Bravo Zulu, and thanks for everything you do to make me one rich mother. Yep, it's me, soul Oreo brother MT3, to lay down a cool new program for all of you fine employees. I'm proud to announce the FUKU Program, where friendedEx, Understands, and Knows U. So, FUKU to all of you dedicated and loyal FedEx employees.
First, we Understand because we give you great benefits, like our high-quality and affordable health plans. When I see my doctor in Chi..err Memphis, it doesn't cost me a penny for preventive care. I especially like having colonoscopies...I get 3 or 4 a year just cause I find them soothing. We give them to you free of charge, every single day, whether you like it or not. We also understand we have you over a barrel, and I like to take full advantage of that whenever possible. So does Fred. See, we DO understand.
Next, we Know that you're a bunch of lazy slackers who want to steal money from Fred by getting overpaid for what you do. Our goal is to pay everyone at Express $13.00 per hour, and the sooner we can eliminate all of the 40+ Legacy Couriers, the sooner we can attain that goal. More money for me, and less for you. Just the way I like it.
U mean nothing to us. If you get hurt, get sick, or have an accident, it's all on U, not me. So, just to be clear, U don't matter..I do.
Anyway, I've got dinner with the wife tonight in downtown Chi-tow,,,errr, Memphis. Uh, we're going to Mud Island tonight, yeah, that's right. I sure do love it here in Memphis. So, remember, FUKU, because we care.
Sincerely,
Matthew Thornton III, PhD, OB-GYN, FACS, Cunning Linguist, NUMBERONEMOFO, PS, abcdefg
Bravo Zulu, and thanks for everything you do to make me one rich mother. Yep, it's me, soul Oreo brother MT3, to lay down a cool new program for all of you fine employees. I'm proud to announce the FUKU Program, where friendedEx, Understands, and Knows U. So, FUKU to all of you dedicated and loyal FedEx employees.
First, we Understand because we give you great benefits, like our high-quality and affordable health plans. When I see my doctor in Chi..err Memphis, it doesn't cost me a penny for preventive care. I especially like having colonoscopies...I get 3 or 4 a year just cause I find them soothing. We give them to you free of charge, every single day, whether you like it or not. We also understand we have you over a barrel, and I like to take full advantage of that whenever possible. So does Fred. See, we DO understand.
Next, we Know that you're a bunch of lazy slackers who want to steal money from Fred by getting overpaid for what you do. Our goal is to pay everyone at Express $13.00 per hour, and the sooner we can eliminate all of the 40+ Legacy Couriers, the sooner we can attain that goal. More money for me, and less for you. Just the way I like it.
U mean nothing to us. If you get hurt, get sick, or have an accident, it's all on U, not me. So, just to be clear, U don't matter..I do.
Anyway, I've got dinner with the wife tonight in downtown Chi-tow,,,errr, Memphis. Uh, we're going to Mud Island tonight, yeah, that's right. I sure do love it here in Memphis. So, remember, FUKU, because we care.
Sincerely,
Matthew Thornton III, PhD, OB-GYN, FACS, Cunning Linguist, NUMBERONEMOFO, PS, abcdefg
