full time driver how to go mental disability due to maritial separation?

[toonertoo]

What age is she? Women go through midlife depression, so I hear.
If she is post menopausal it could be, if she is pre menopausal its PMS. Any way you look at it women, more so than men, go through so much biological stuff, and hormonal changes, if you love her her stay with her.
I hear it gets worse. My mom was totally blown away by hormonal changes, now they have help.
You are the only one who knows if it is worth it to stand by your woman.
If it is this, then a good man will help her through it .
If its not, then you have to think of yourself. JMHO

 

[onehandsolo]

What age is she? Women go through midlife depression, so I hear.
If she is post menopausal it could be, if she is pre menopausal its PMS. Any way you look at it women, more so than men, go through so much biological stuff, and hormonal changes, if you love her her stay with her.
I hear it gets worse. My mom was totally blown away by hormonal changes, now they have help.
You are the only one who knows if it is worth it to stand by your woman.
If it is this, then a good man will help her through it .
If its not, then you have to think of yourself. JMHO

She is 42. I think she does have some hormone and depression issues. She kept saying something inside her was keeping her from connecting with me and it is not my fault and I have been really good to her. She claims that she doesn't want to stay in a marriage just because it is easy. She is still physically attracted to me. We were having good sex but she felt no desire to hold touch hug etc... I Love her and want her to get some help but she does not want to. She thinks she will be better alone. We both r going to see attorneys in the morning. What baffles me is her friend and Mother told her the best thing to was get a divorce.

 

[bleedinbrown58]

She is 42. I think she does have some hormone and depression issues. She kept saying something inside her was keeping her from connecting with me and it is not my fault and I have been really good to her. She claims that she doesn't want to stay in a marriage just because it is easy. She is still physically attracted to me. We were having good sex but she felt no desire to hold touch hug etc... I Love her and want her to get some help but she does not want to. She thinks she will be better alone. We both r going to see attorneys in the morning. What baffles me is her friend and Mother told her the best thing to was get a divorce.

Sorry man, that sucks. Unfortunately, if she doesn't want to try counseling and work it out, there's not much you can do. Give yourself a break, and your wife some time, she might decide differently in a few weeks. In the meantime, you're doing the right thing, seeing an attorney to protect yourself.

 

[toonertoo]

She is 42. I think she does have some hormone and depression issues. She kept saying something inside her was keeping her from connecting with me and it is not my fault and I have been really good to her. She claims that she doesn't want to stay in a marriage just because it is easy. She is still physically attracted to me. We were having good sex but she felt no desire to hold touch hug etc... I Love her and want her to get some help but she does not want to. She thinks she will be better alone. We both r going to see attorneys in the morning. What baffles me is her friend and Mother told her the best thing to was get a divorce.

That's sad, hang in there. so sorry

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

It sounds as though a trial separation may be your next step.

 

[stink219]

My wife just told me she wants a divorce. I am in no shape to work from a mental or physical aspect. What to I do?

I've been in your shoes. Laws vary state to state. Does your medical cover mental health? If so, start there. Call a shrink, they may give you some time off. It sucks what your going through. I will tell you that it definitely gets better. You may feel as your world is out of control but once you slowly detach emotionally is when clarity comes through. I spent 14 days in my house alone when I got divorced, never even going outside. One day you just wake up, let out a deep breath and move on. I've never looked back. But do yourself a favor, learn to forgive at some point. Resentment to her will not make you feel better. It's when you can take responsibility for your own part of this. She maybe just as scared as you are right now. I hated my ex for years. Once I learned to forgive and care for her again is when you fully move past it and grow.
But listen to me carefully, never worry about being alone as a UPS driver. Being single for a while is sometimes what the DR ordered. But that's a story for another thread titled "More ass than a toilet seat!" Good luck man. You'll get through it.

 

[Indecisi0n]

I've been in your shoes. Laws vary state to state. Does your medical cover mental health? If so, start there. Call a shrink, they may give you some time off. It sucks what your going through. I will tell you that it definitely gets better. You may feel as your world is out of control but once you slowly detach emotionally is when clarity comes through. I spent 14 days in my house alone when I got divorced, never even going outside. One day you just wake up, let out a deep breath and move on. I've never looked back. But do yourself a favor, learn to forgive at some point. Resentment to her will not make you feel better. It's when you can take responsibility for your own part of this. She maybe just as scared as you are right now. I hated my ex for years. Once I learned to forgive and care for her again is when you fully move past it and grow.
But listen to me carefully, never worry about being alone as a UPS driver. Being single for a while is sometimes what the DR ordered. But that's a story for another thread titled "More ass than a toilet seat!" Good luck man. You'll get through it.

Agree with this. Only thing I would like to add is to go online now and pickup up a nice fleshlight.

 

[Tracey Zimmer]

My husband is a Part Timer working towards a full time drivers position, and he told me the other day that most Full Time drivers end up divorced because of the job? Is this true? It's been 7 years of him working his ass off part time only to be passed over twice by two guys with less seniority. Loads at night and drives on Saturdays and is constantly told, your next, your next....and we are still waiting. But him telling me that really worries me, especially since we were just married in September. Any advice would be great

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Prenup?









(Just kidding)

 

[gingerkat]

Sorry OP. I'm shocked at some of the responses. I think many people "forget" what it's like in the beginning, because they're already at the end or that they've never gone through it. Just because it isn't the end of the world, doesn't mean it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Sadly our society thinks that because you're a man, you should "buck up". I didn't realize guys don't have feelings.

Well, all I can suggest is that you don't try to figure her out. Of course it's natural to think, think and rethink, but no matter how hard you try, you can't read someone's mind. Age, hormones, or whatever she is saying, you can do nothing to change it. Do what you need to do, including taking time off to get yourself to a healthy point where you can return to work and feel okay about it.

 

[Hate 150lb Packages]

I've been in the military.. I've seen death and pain and horrible things. I've lost loved ones and been in accidents... But the worst agony I've ever felt was when I got divorced. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel. At first you may feel in shock, and a bit numb. Then the pain gets very intense. Because it's a matter of the heart it's easy for some people to brush aside. It may sound silly, but my divorce was more painful than some of the deaths of loved ones. It was the death of my dream. I didn't know how to bury it, since it's ethereal. I don't mean to talk about myself, just trying to illustrate the gravity of it. Do not, under any circumstances, resort to any vices (drinking, porn, gambling, overeating,etc.). The best thing is work.

 

[Indecisi0n]

I've been in the military.. I've seen death and pain and horrible things. I've lost loved ones and been in accidents... But the worst agony I've ever felt was when I got divorced. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel. At first you may feel in shock, and a bit numb. Then the pain gets very intense. Because it's a matter of the heart it's easy for some people to brush aside. It may sound silly, but my divorce was more painful than some of the deaths of loved ones. It was the death of my dream. I didn't know how to bury it, since it's ethereal. I don't mean to talk about myself, just trying to illustrate the gravity of it. Do not, under any circumstances, resort to any vices (drinking, porn, gambling, overeating,etc.). The best thing is work.

Alcohol + porn = happiness.

 

[DOK]

Come on Dave. Gimme a break.

hey, hey, hey, hey,.......one break coming uuuuuuuuup........

Name that tune!

 

[stink219]

Unchained by VH!!!

 

[BSWALKS]

Unchained by VH!!!

Best era & line up of VH.
DLR & MA on bass, & backing vocals.
Fair Warning one of the best albums ever

 

[1BROWNWRENCH]

Piling on derailment. Best quote by DLR "Here today, gone later today."

 

[onehandsolo]

Well I went back to work Monday. Everyone asked about my vacation.. I told some the truth that my wife wants a separation. I am dealing with the situation fairly well. Work did help me to keep my mind off of my problems. My wife said she has not closed her heart to counseling. I have just decided to but God first and see what happens. Thank you for your support.

 

[brownmonster]

hey, hey, hey, hey,.......one break coming uuuuuuuuup........

Name that tune!

You didn't read the whole thread did you?

 

[brownmonster]

My husband is a Part Timer working towards a full time drivers position, and he told me the other day that most Full Time drivers end up divorced because of the job? Is this true? It's been 7 years of him working his ass off part time only to be passed over twice by two guys with less seniority. Loads at night and drives on Saturdays and is constantly told, your next, your next....and we are still waiting. But him telling me that really worries me, especially since we were just married in September. Any advice would be great

You can't be passed over by someone with less seniority. That's why they call it seniority. Maybe he just doesn't want to drive. Been married 29 years, the woman is still crazy about me.

 

[onehandsolo]

My advice would be never take your marriage for granted. My wife and I were so busy with work and often put r relationship on the back burner.
I really thought I could reconnect with her during weekends and vacations, but she felt different and ask for a separation. I should have done more of the little things during the week. Also sometimes it is good to tell your spouse things that you may not be happy with. My wife and I compressed a lot of our disappointments and unhappiness with each other which can lead to problems. Most important you both need to grow as individuals and as a couple. Marriage can work for ups couples trust me we were very happy for a long time. good luck...

My husband is a Part Timer working towards a full time drivers position, and he told me the other day that most Full Time drivers end up divorced because of the job? Is this true? It's been 7 years of him working his ass off part time only to be passed over twice by two guys with less seniority. Loads at night and drives on Saturdays and is constantly told, your next, your next....and we are still waiting. But him telling me that really worries me, especially since we were just married in September. Any advice would be great