Funny answers to frequently asked questions

[Wilson1397]

Is it ticking? No, it stopped about a half hour ago! What's in it? If I could see through it do you really think I would be doing this for a living?

 

[Anonymous 10]

Do you know so and so he works on the bla bla. Oh yea he is a pretty good guy. Yea right I work in a building of over a thousand people never heard of him.

 

[code5]

Is this box ticking?

- No, with new technology they beep now.


Wow, you seem really busy today! Oh well it makes the day go faster.

- Yea, that first 8 hours flies by but the second 8 hours sucks!

I don't know how you drive with all this snow, I was late getting to work this morning. Your here kind of late today arn't you?

- sigh, have a nice day.

* This one is reversed - I ask the question and the customer answers.

And whats your last name?

- yes ??????

or

- its on there

 

[Re-Raise]

Q If you find a leaking package and don't know its contents what do you do?

A Taste it.


They quit letting the auditors ask me questions

 

[trickpony1]

Q If you find a leaking package and don't know its contents what do you do?

A Taste it.


They quit letting the auditors ask me questions

Actually, if you find a leaking package you're supposed to throw your body over it so if it explodes it doesn't damage your package car and you won't get a warning letter.

 

[fethrs]

Do you know so and so he works on the bla bla. Oh yea he is a pretty good guy. Yea right I work in a building of over a thousand people never heard of him.

Same here but what's better is when they say he's a driver...oh yea, theres only a few hundred drives in my building, sure I know him...lol

 

[soberups]

"Yes sir, I did hear the one about FedEx and UPS combining to form a company called Fed Up"

 

[old levi's]

"Yes sir, I did hear the one about FedEx and UPS combining to form a company called Fed Up"

After hearing this one about 500 times,
I interrupt before they can produce the punch line and say " Are they going to call it UpEx "?

The look of confusion on their face is worth it.

 

[Re-Raise]

Q Why won't my signature show up?

A (real answer)Because you are holding the DIAD with you left thumb on the signature button which flips it over for clarification.

(my answer) oh crap you just erased everything I did all day

 

[old levi's]

Q Why won't my signature show up?

A (real answer)Because you are holding the DIAD with you left thumb on the signature button which flips it over for clarification.

(my answer) oh crap you just erased everything I did all day

love that answer

 

[UnconTROLLed]

One of my favs was the one Babooba said a while ago about the company rotating the trucks every 6 months for summer/winter. I forget exactly how it goes

"Dew all ur trucks have A/C?"

"No, only the summer trucks. In the winter they'll ship in the ones with the heat"

 

[onewithedd]

Do you want to open it and and return it now, or track me down later and give it to me then.

 

[old levi's]

The Question : Hot enough for you?

How I would like to answer:

No, you simple idiot. I wish it was 10 degrees hotter so I could burst into flames right before your eyes.