Ground and Express Drivers are EXACTLY Alike!!

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Nov 9, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    bbsam says so, and Fred and his minions think so too, so I guess it must be TRUE!! And since we're "equivalent", let's all start being like Ground, kind of like the old Nike campaign "Be Like Mike", except ours can be "Be Like Igor". So, from now on, please do the following:

    1. Leave your vehicle running...all the time. I don't care if you're in South Central, Harlem, or East LA...keep it running.

    2. Straightline everything. Ground can only do things in a continuous pattern. None of that fancy thinking and reasoning required!

    3. WAD like mad. You are not capable of multiple service levels, working-in pickups, or doing anything "out of the box". Be like Igor. Unnghh!! Igor load box. Igor throw box at door. Igor get back into running truck and drive to next stop. Light cigarette, drink beer, it all be OK! Unggh..must take dump in yard because have no time to make poo-poo. Igor good...save money and time.

    4. Grow that ZZ Top beard you've always wanted. Get a tattoo of Adolf Hitler on your forehead and wear your motorcycle boots with your shorts and bandana. In the summer, bring out those comfy Ground flip-flops.

    5. Drive an unsafe vehicle. Bad brakes, bald tires? Who cares, as long as it runs?

    6. Slow it down...way down. You don't need no stinking service levels. It gets there when it gets there.

    Yep, we're just the same, Sammy.
     
  2. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    I was going to start a new thread but this seems like the perfect place. I actually saw a ground feeder driver cruising at 70 down the interstate with dome light on reading a book.
     
  3. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Was he smoking a joint with one flip-flopped foot up on the dash?
     
  4. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Wow. MFE's panties are all bunched up thong style tonight. I think he's going to have a long, long peak. Lol.
     
  5. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Are you sure it was Ground? According to MFE most Ground drivers can't read.
     
  6. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    MFE likes to overcomplicate what is basically a very simple job.
     
  7. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    No, FedEx likes to over complicate what is basically a very simple job. MFE is just fighting back and rightfully so.

    Carry on.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  8. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    The sad part about MFE is that some poor kid will read his advice, follow it and lose his job for having done so.
     
  9. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Even worse would be if a 50 year old took his advice and got fired for it.
     
  10. ManInBrown

    ManInBrown Well-Known Member

    You forgot, Pulling nose first into every single resi driveway regardless if it's 20 ft long or 2000 ft long.
     
  11. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Words of "wisdom" from a UPS employee who has a great deal where he's at, and has no idea what we're talking about. Carry on, clueless Brown man.
     
  12. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Sorry. It also needs to be the wrong house.
     
  13. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Your job is a lot closer to the Ground position than an Express courier. Most (not all) package car drivers deliver a dense area, straightline, and don't have to do a whole lot of juggling. Yes, you have a simple job. It's very physically challenging, but not so much on the mental side of the equation. A "good" Express courier is juggling a lot, and the fact that you don't realize this means you do not understand the Express side of FedEx.

    I'll go a step further. You generalize from a few observations of Express couriers who work around your area. I could take you to numerous Express facilities where the Express courier is working much harder than the average UPS package car driver. You'd have a very tough time doing the job.
     
  14. Doc Sorting Dude

    Doc Sorting Dude Active Member

    The Ground driver in my area loves to drive with his back door wide open. Not only that, the space between the windshield and dashboard is filled with trash, add to that a boombox that's playing an ear shattering decibel...yeah I want to emulate that.
     
  15. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    :bow:
     
  16. DinkyDog

    DinkyDog New Member

    Don't forget to drive with both doors open
     
  17. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    I always do-----both driver and passenger.
     
  18. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I wouldn't. I'd have every Express route around here mastered in three days. Of course that would require working harder than I do for less money so I think I'll pass.
     
  19. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.


    The fact that you believe the average ups driver does juggle a lot or it isn't a mentally taxing job shows that you have no clue about the job. We essentially do the job of express and ground.
     
  20. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Don't forget the job of the HD driver as well.