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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 60162"><p>> "Performance Evaluations" </p><p>> > </p><p>> > These useful quotes are from actual federal employee </p><p>> > performance evaluations: </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 1. Since my last report, this employee has reached </p><p>> > rock bottom and has started to dig. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been </p><p>> > but more of a definite won't-be. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 4. Works well when under constant supervision and </p><p>> > cornered like a rat in a trap. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only </p><p>> > to change feet. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently </p><p>> > fails to achieve them. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of </p><p>> > an idiot. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he </p><p>> > starts, the better. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 11. Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to </p><p>> > hold it all together. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an </p><p>> > ordinary ignoramus. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 13. He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 15. He has been working with glue too much. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 16. He would argue with a signpost. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves </p><p>> > the room. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 19. If you see two people talking, and one looks </p><p>> > bored, he is the other one. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 20. A photographic memory but with the lens </p><p>> > covered glued on. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 22. Donated his brain to science before he was </p><p>> > done using it. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but </p><p>> > the train is not coming. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is </p><p>> > out looking for it. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 25. If he were any more stupid, he would have </p><p>> > to be watered twice a week. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you </p><p>> > would get change. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 27. If you stand close enough to him, you can </p><p>> > hear the ocean. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 28. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 </p><p>> > other sperm. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 29. One neuron short of a synapse. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; </p><p>> > he only gargled. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 31. Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes. </p><p>> > </p><p>> > 32. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. </p><p>> > </p><p>> </p><p>></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 60162"] > "Performance Evaluations" > > > > These useful quotes are from actual federal employee > > performance evaluations: > > > > 1. Since my last report, this employee has reached > > rock bottom and has started to dig. > > > > 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. > > > > 3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been > > but more of a definite won't-be. > > > > 4. Works well when under constant supervision and > > cornered like a rat in a trap. > > > > 5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only > > to change feet. > > > > 6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. > > > > 7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. > > > > 8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently > > fails to achieve them. > > > > 9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of > > an idiot. > > > > 10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he > > starts, the better. > > > > 11. Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to > > hold it all together. > > > > 12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an > > ordinary ignoramus. > > > > 13. He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier. > > > > 14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime. > > > > 15. He has been working with glue too much. > > > > 16. He would argue with a signpost. > > > > 17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves > > the room. > > > > 18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell. > > > > 19. If you see two people talking, and one looks > > bored, he is the other one. > > > > 20. A photographic memory but with the lens > > covered glued on. > > > > 21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection. > > > > 22. Donated his brain to science before he was > > done using it. > > > > 23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but > > the train is not coming. > > > > 24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is > > out looking for it. > > > > 25. If he were any more stupid, he would have > > to be watered twice a week. > > > > 26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you > > would get change. > > > > 27. If you stand close enough to him, you can > > hear the ocean. > > > > 28. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 > > other sperm. > > > > 29. One neuron short of a synapse. > > > > 30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; > > he only gargled. > > > > 31. Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes. > > > > 32. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. > > > > [/QUOTE]
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