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Heard Any Good Ones: Archive
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<blockquote data-quote="vic" data-source="post: 61171"><p>Kids Say the Crappiest Things </p><p> </p><p>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and </p><p>thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" </p><p> </p><p>Without missing a beat, one little girl (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." </p><p> </p><p>____________________________________________________________________ </p><p> </p><p>A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." </p><p> </p><p>"Yes, sir," the boys said. </p><p> </p><p>"Then, why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" </p><p> </p><p>A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty." </p><p> </p><p>____________________________________________________________________ </p><p> </p><p>My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun, also helping his kids to think critically. </p><p> </p><p>One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the </p><p>first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" </p><p> </p><p>Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" </p><p> </p><p>My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said, 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" </p><p> </p><p>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. </p><p> </p><p>____________________________________________________________________ </p><p> </p><p>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's </p><p>Michael; he's a doctor.'" </p><p> </p><p>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="vic, post: 61171"] Kids Say the Crappiest Things A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little girl (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." ____________________________________________________________________ A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then, why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty." ____________________________________________________________________ My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun, also helping his kids to think critically. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said, 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. ____________________________________________________________________ The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead. [/QUOTE]
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