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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 134493" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><u>THE LAND OF SANDRA DEE</u></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Long ago and far away</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In a land that time forgot,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Before the days of Dylan</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or the dawn of Camelot</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">There lived a race of innocents</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And they were you and me,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Long ago and far away</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Oh, there was truth and goodness</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the land where we were born,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Where navels were for oranges</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Peyton Place was porn.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">For Ike was in the White House,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Hoss was on T.V.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And God was in His Heaven</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We learned to gut a muffler,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We washed our hair at dawn,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We spread our crinolines to dry</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">in circles on the lawn.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And they could hear us coming</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">All the way to Tennessee,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">All starched and sprayed and rumbling</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We longed for love and romance,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And waited for our prince</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Eddie Fisher married Liz,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And no one's seen him since.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We danced to "Little Darlin".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And sang to "Stagger Lee"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We cried for Buddy Holly</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee,</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Only girls wore earrings then,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And three was one too many,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And only boys wore flat-top cuts,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Except for Jean McKinney.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And only in our wildest dreams</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Did we expect to see</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">A boy named George with lipstick</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We fell for Frankie Avalon</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Annette was oh, so nice,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And when they made a movie,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">They never made it twice.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We didn't have a Star Trek Five,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or Psycho Two and Three</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or Rocky - Rambo twenty</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Chester had a limp,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Reagan was a Democrat</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Whose co-star was a chimp</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We had a Mr. Wizard,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">But not a Mr. T,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Oprah wasn't talkin' yet</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We had our share of heroes,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We never thought they'd go,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">At least not Bobby Darin.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or Marilyn Monroe.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">For youth was still eternal,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And life was yet to be,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Elvis was forever,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We'd never seen the rock band</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">That was Grateful to be Dead,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Zeppelins weren't Led.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Beatles lived in gardens then,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Monkees in a tree,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Madonna was a virgin</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We never heard of microwaves,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or telephones in cars,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And babies might be bottle-fed,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">But they weren't grown in jars.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And pumping iron got wrinkles out,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And "gay" meant fancy-free,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And dorms were never co-ed</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We hadn't seen enough of jets</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">To talk about the lag.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And microchips were what was left in</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">The bottom of the bag.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And hardware was a box of nails,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And bytes came from a flea</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And rocket ships were fiction</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Buicks came with portholes,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And side shows came with freaks,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And bathing suits came big enough</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">To cover both your cheeks.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Coke came just in bottles,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And skirts came to the knee,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And Castro came to power</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We had no Crest with fluoride,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We had no Hill Street Blues,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We all wore superstructure bras</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Designed by Howard Hughes.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We had no patterned panty hose</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or Lipton herbal tea</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or prime-time ads for condoms</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">There were no golden arches,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">No Perriers to chill,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And fish were not called Wanda</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And cats were not called Bill.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And middle-age was thirty-five</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And old was forty-three,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And ancient were our parents</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">But all things have a season,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Or so we've heard them say,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And now instead of Maybelline</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We swear by Retin-A.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And they send us invitations</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">To join AARP,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">We've come a long way, baby,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">From the Land of Sandra Dee.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">So now we face a brave new world</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">In slightly larger jeans,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And wonder why they're using</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Smaller print in magazines.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">And we tell our children's children</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">of the way it used to be,</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Long ago and far away</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 134493, member: 1246"] [U]THE LAND OF SANDRA DEE[/U] [SIZE=2]Long ago and far away[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In a land that time forgot,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Before the days of Dylan[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or the dawn of Camelot[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]There lived a race of innocents[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And they were you and me,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Long ago and far away[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Oh, there was truth and goodness[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the land where we were born,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Where navels were for oranges[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Peyton Place was porn.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]For Ike was in the White House,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Hoss was on T.V.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And God was in His Heaven[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We learned to gut a muffler,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We washed our hair at dawn,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We spread our crinolines to dry[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]in circles on the lawn.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And they could hear us coming[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]All the way to Tennessee,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]All starched and sprayed and rumbling[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We longed for love and romance,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And waited for our prince[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Eddie Fisher married Liz,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And no one's seen him since.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We danced to "Little Darlin".[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And sang to "Stagger Lee"[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We cried for Buddy Holly[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Only girls wore earrings then,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And three was one too many,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And only boys wore flat-top cuts,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Except for Jean McKinney.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And only in our wildest dreams[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Did we expect to see[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]A boy named George with lipstick[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We fell for Frankie Avalon[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Annette was oh, so nice,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And when they made a movie,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]They never made it twice.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We didn't have a Star Trek Five,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or Psycho Two and Three[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or Rocky - Rambo twenty[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Chester had a limp,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Reagan was a Democrat[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Whose co-star was a chimp[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We had a Mr. Wizard,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]But not a Mr. T,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Oprah wasn't talkin' yet[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We had our share of heroes,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We never thought they'd go,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]At least not Bobby Darin.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or Marilyn Monroe.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]For youth was still eternal,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And life was yet to be,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Elvis was forever,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We'd never seen the rock band[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]That was Grateful to be Dead,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Zeppelins weren't Led.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Beatles lived in gardens then,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Monkees in a tree,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Madonna was a virgin[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We never heard of microwaves,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or telephones in cars,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And babies might be bottle-fed,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]But they weren't grown in jars.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And pumping iron got wrinkles out,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And "gay" meant fancy-free,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And dorms were never co-ed[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We hadn't seen enough of jets[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]To talk about the lag.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And microchips were what was left in[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]The bottom of the bag.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And hardware was a box of nails,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And bytes came from a flea[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And rocket ships were fiction[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Buicks came with portholes,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And side shows came with freaks,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And bathing suits came big enough[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]To cover both your cheeks.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Coke came just in bottles,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And skirts came to the knee,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And Castro came to power[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We had no Crest with fluoride,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We had no Hill Street Blues,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We all wore superstructure bras[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Designed by Howard Hughes.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We had no patterned panty hose[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or Lipton herbal tea[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or prime-time ads for condoms[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]There were no golden arches,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]No Perriers to chill,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And fish were not called Wanda[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And cats were not called Bill.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And middle-age was thirty-five[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And old was forty-three,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And ancient were our parents[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]But all things have a season,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Or so we've heard them say,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And now instead of Maybelline[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We swear by Retin-A.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And they send us invitations[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]To join AARP,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]We've come a long way, baby,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]From the Land of Sandra Dee.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]So now we face a brave new world[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]In slightly larger jeans,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And wonder why they're using[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Smaller print in magazines.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]And we tell our children's children[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]of the way it used to be,[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]Long ago and far away[/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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