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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 144273" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If I Were Santa, I'd<span style="font-size: 18px">.........</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If I were a rockin' Santa, You know what I'd do? I'd dump the silly gifts That are given to you.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd deliver some things...Just inside your front door -- Things you have lost, But treasured before.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd give you back all...Your maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, A neat, tiny figure;</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Then restore the old color...That once graced your hair Before rinses and bleaches...Took residence there.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd bring back the shape...With which you were gifted, So things now suspended...Need not be uplifted.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd draw in your tummy...And smooth down your back Till you'd be a dream...In those tight fitting slacks!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd remove all your wrinkles...And leave only one chin, So you wouldn't spend hours...Rubbing grease on your skin.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">You'd never have flashes...Or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises...Like ringing of bells.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">No sore aching feet,...And no corns on your toes No searching for spectacles...When they're right on your nose.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Not a shot would you take...In your arm, hip or fanny From a doctor who thinks...You're a nervous old granny.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">You'd never have a headache,...So no pills would you take. And no heating pad needed...Since your muscles won't ache.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Yes, if I were Santa, You'd never look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick...With the romance of a cupid.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'd give a lift to your heart, When those wolves start to whistle, And the joys of your heart...Would be light as a thistle.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">But alas! I'm not Santa...I'm simply just me, The matronest of matrons...You ever did see.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I wish I could tell you...All the symptoms I've got, But I'm due at my doctor's...For an estrogen shot.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Even though we've grown older...This wish is sincere: Merry Christmas to you!...And a Happy New Year!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">~ Author Unknown </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 144273, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]If I Were Santa, I'd[SIZE=5].........[/SIZE] If I were a rockin' Santa, You know what I'd do? I'd dump the silly gifts That are given to you. I'd deliver some things...Just inside your front door -- Things you have lost, But treasured before. I'd give you back all...Your maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, A neat, tiny figure; Then restore the old color...That once graced your hair Before rinses and bleaches...Took residence there. I'd bring back the shape...With which you were gifted, So things now suspended...Need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy...And smooth down your back Till you'd be a dream...In those tight fitting slacks! I'd remove all your wrinkles...And leave only one chin, So you wouldn't spend hours...Rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes...Or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises...Like ringing of bells. No sore aching feet,...And no corns on your toes No searching for spectacles...When they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take...In your arm, hip or fanny From a doctor who thinks...You're a nervous old granny. You'd never have a headache,...So no pills would you take. And no heating pad needed...Since your muscles won't ache. Yes, if I were Santa, You'd never look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick...With the romance of a cupid. I'd give a lift to your heart, When those wolves start to whistle, And the joys of your heart...Would be light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa...I'm simply just me, The matronest of matrons...You ever did see. I wish I could tell you...All the symptoms I've got, But I'm due at my doctor's...For an estrogen shot. Even though we've grown older...This wish is sincere: Merry Christmas to you!...And a Happy New Year! ~ Author Unknown [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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