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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 149184" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"If Companies Ran Christmas"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If IBM ran Christmas... They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up fortheir present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Apple ran Christmas... It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Dell ran Christmas... Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..? ?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Fisher Price ran Christmas... "Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If IRS ran Christmas... We would have no tree.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas... They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Thanksgiving, and placed out for viewing the day after the January Bowl Games.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Sony ran Christmas... Their Personal Xmas-ing Device, which would be barely larger than an ornament and flat, would allow you to celebrate the season with a device that allowed you to play a game to shoot down virtual dragon ornaments.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If the Franklin Mint ran Christmas... Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted item from an authentic Civil War pewter ornament collection. Each ornament would weight about 7 pounds, and require you to pay shipping and handling charges.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Timex ran Christmas... The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep on shopping.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Radio Shack ran Christmas... The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you could buy parts to build your own tree.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">If Wal-Mart ran Christmas... They would immediately change the name to Wal-Mas. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 149184, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]"If Companies Ran Christmas" If IBM ran Christmas... They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up fortheir present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time. If Apple ran Christmas... It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course). If Dell ran Christmas... Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..? ? If Fisher Price ran Christmas... "Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree. If IRS ran Christmas... We would have no tree. If Hewlett-Packard ran Christmas... They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Thanksgiving, and placed out for viewing the day after the January Bowl Games. If Sony ran Christmas... Their Personal Xmas-ing Device, which would be barely larger than an ornament and flat, would allow you to celebrate the season with a device that allowed you to play a game to shoot down virtual dragon ornaments. If the Franklin Mint ran Christmas... Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted item from an authentic Civil War pewter ornament collection. Each ornament would weight about 7 pounds, and require you to pay shipping and handling charges. If Timex ran Christmas... The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep on shopping. If Radio Shack ran Christmas... The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you could buy parts to build your own tree. If Wal-Mart ran Christmas... They would immediately change the name to Wal-Mas. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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