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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="dannyboy" data-source="post: 93553" data-attributes="member: 484"><p><strong>Re: Heard any good ones?</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">line between any</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">points would be.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">out with a bonus of $72,000.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">walked out with $96,000.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chie! friend</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">my weenie to my testicles."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">received.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">which he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Chief's weenie and began to work back.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dannyboy, post: 93553, member: 484"] [b]Re: Heard any good ones?[/b] [FONT=Tahoma]The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chie! friend who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did.. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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