I might have to forfeit my Man-Card.

brownmonster

Man of Great Wisdom
I wheeled into a rural driveway and noticed a gal in a bikini mowing the lawn. As I'm walking towards the house she turns off the mower. I say "I have a pkg for so and so". She says "I can take it". My answer should have been "I'll need a signature for this one" but I cracked and said "Ill just set it on the porch for you". Weak!
 

rod

Retired 22 years
I wheeled into a rural driveway and noticed a gal in a bikini mowing the lawn. As I'm walking towards the house she turns off the mower. I say "I have a pkg for so and so". She says "I can take it". My answer should have been "I'll need a signature for this one" but I cracked and said "Ill just set it on the porch for you". Weak!

I can see that whole conversation could have lead to exciting things-----depending on "how she took it".
 

bbsam

Moderator
Staff member
I'm sure she took silent pleasure at your discomfort and probably feels that you perceive her as "out of your league". She may even start ordering more. You are correct though. Please deposit man cards in a safe location. Maybe you could tuck them away withyour testicles.
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
She was probably thinking how much she likes hairy, smelly guys and is now in tears because you wouldn't come near her....
 

Big Babooba

Well-Known Member
Your avatar says "Man of Great Wisdom". You'll have to change that to Man With No Nads! I not only would have gotten a signature, but I would have made sure to drop the stylus and enjoyed the view as she bent over to pick it up!!!
 
S

splozi

Guest
Or you could have waited 'till she went inside and watched her bathe. Just sayin'...
 

BSWALKS

Fugitive From Reality
I wheeled into a rural driveway and noticed a gal in a bikini mowing the lawn. As I'm walking towards the house she turns off the mower. I say "I have a pkg for so and so". She says "I can take it". My answer should have been "I'll need a signature for this one" but I cracked and said "Ill just set it on the porch for you". Weak!

All is not lost grasshopper. To redeem your man card, watch 2 nights of sports center, & buy no fewer than 3 smut mags of your choosing. You should have your card back by Sunday, the latest.
Never forget the shame you felt today,
Grasshopper
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
All is not lost grasshopper. To redeem your man card, watch 2 nights of sports center, & buy no fewer than 3 smut mags of your choosing. You should have your card back by Sunday, the latest.
Never forget the shame you felt today,
Grasshopper
I don't know... What he did was pretty bad. In addition to the above, I think he should watch 4 man movies. I suggest "Dirty Harry", "Scarface", "The Road Warrior", and "The Bridge on the River Kwai".
 

curiousbrain

Well-Known Member
I don't know... What he did was pretty bad. In addition to the above, I think he should watch 4 man movies. I suggest "Dirty Harry", "Scarface", "The Road Warrior", and "The Bridge on the River Kwai".

May I add "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" for good measure.
 

barnyard

KTM rider
Somewhere on another board some chick is posting:

I ordered some stuff so that my hot UPS guy would stop. I was mowing the lawn in my bikini and he hardly even noticed me. I even quit mowing and went to talk to him and he acted like he was in a big hurry.

I must be fat.

I am going to cry myself to sleep with a tub of Ben and Jerrys.

True story.
 

Johney

Well-Known Member
Somewhere on another board some chick is posting:

I ordered some stuff so that my hot UPS guy would stop. I was mowing the lawn in my bikini and he hardly even noticed me. I even quit mowing and went to talk to him and he acted like he was in a big hurry.

I must be fat.

I am going to cry myself to sleep with a tub of Ben and Jerrys.

True story.
Now that's even funnier!
 

rod

Retired 22 years
I wheeled into a rural driveway and noticed a gal in a bikini mowing the lawn. As I'm walking towards the house she turns off the mower. I say "I have a pkg for so and so". She says "I can take it". My answer should have been "I'll need a signature for this one" but I cracked and said "Ill just set it on the porch for you". Weak!

Here's a song for ya: I suggest you do turn in your card.

Macho Man - YouTube
 

UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)

Well-Known Member
Keep in mind the brownmonster is the father of two college age daughters. I have a daughter (27) and your thought process tends to change when you have a daughter, especially if bikini girl was the same age or younger than said daughter.
 

bbsam

Moderator
Staff member
Keep in mind the brownmonster is the father of two college age daughters. I have a daughter (27) and your thought process tends to change when you have a daughter, especially if bikini girl was the same age or younger than said daughter.
Well my daughter isn't going to be like THAT! And yes, I have no idea what that means.:)
 
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