Mainly For Mr FedEx

[MaineGroundDriver]

This morning an express pkg inadvertently was loaded onto one of our inbound trailers. Being that the local Express terminal is part of my WA, I was asked to take it to Express. After dispatching, I was asked if possible, could I get said pkg to E Terminal in time for it to be dispatched for delivery today. I asked what time dispatch was and the time I was given was a bit too early to get it to them without completely changing my normal delivery schedule. However, I did decide it could be done and changed up my route on the fly and actually got it to them while they were still loading their ramp trucks at the airport.

See, I'm not that bad of a guy, especially for some Ground scum ..

 

[MrFedEx]

This morning an express pkg inadvertently was loaded onto one of our inbound trailers. Being that the local Express terminal is part of my WA, I was asked to take it to Express. After dispatching, I was asked if possible, could I get said pkg to E Terminal in time for it to be dispatched for delivery today. I asked what time dispatch was and the time I was given was a bit too early to get it to them without completely changing my normal delivery schedule. However, I did decide it could be done and changed up my route on the fly and actually got it to them while they were still loading their ramp trucks at the airport.

See, I'm not that bad of a guy, especially for some Ground scum ..

Being a "hero" doesn't pay. Uncle Fred says you get a BZ.

 

[Hate 150lb Packages]

That was the first. It was not accidentally loaded. It was intentional. You are the first part of a pilot program to turn Express into a contracted model like Ground. They are seeing how efficient Ground is. If you keep doing a good job, they will give us more and more Express stuff. Instead of rising to the occasion, you need to do what most Ground drivers do.

Deliver the package... 6 hours late. Skid into the parking lot. Leave the truck idling, with the left turn signal still on. Finish the text you were sending on your circa 2002 flip phone. Brush the McRib crumbs off your purple shirt. Tuck your gut in. Try to scan the package several times, and look at it in confusion for 30 seconds until you realize you can't scan it without the (96....). When questioned about the giant red stain, explain to the Express driver that it is either Arby's sauce, or blood, you can't remember which. As you leave, peel out, flicking rocks all over the place. Try to hit the bay doors, so it makes an echo. That's what I would do anyway.

 

[fedupped]

That was the first. It was not accidentally loaded. It was intentional. You are the first part of a pilot program to turn Express into a contracted model like Ground. They are seeing how efficient Ground is. If you keep doing a good job, they will give us more and more Express stuff. Instead of rising to the occasion, you need to do what most Ground drivers do.

Deliver the package... 6 hours late. Skid into the parking lot. Leave the truck idling, with the left turn signal still on. Finish the text you were sending on your circa 2002 flip phone. Brush the McRib crumbs off your purple shirt. Tuck your gut in. Try to scan the package several times, and look at it in confusion for 30 seconds until you realize you can't scan it without the (96....). When questioned about the giant red stain, explain to the Express driver that it is either Arby's sauce, or blood, you can't remember which. As you leave, peel out, flicking rocks all over the place. Try to hit the bay doors, so it makes an echo. That's what I would do anyway.

funny!

 

[DOWNTRODDEN IN TEXAS]

You forgot to mention throwing it reverse going 30 to smoke the tires and stop faster.