Management Quotes

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by tups, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. tups

    tups New Member

    Ok, I know there are many of these out there, so who's got some good ones they heard from their center manager or on-car sup that really made you say What book did you learn that from? one of my favorites went like this.

    Sup: Send in Eta to building WITH TIME.

    Me: Am going to be over 9.5 by 15 minutes.

    Sup: I need 15 minutes

    Me: I need 15 less stops.

    Sup: Need you to make 9.5

    Me: Sorry


    And after booking off sick.......

    Me: I wont be in....too sick.

    Sup: Need you to work through it, I'll see you at 0830.

    Me: I'm sorry, can't.

    Sup: Can't you take something?

    I know they got a job to do, but sometimes what they say just really cracks me up. One of these days I'm gonna write a book full of these quotes and sell it. Oh, wait.....I'd probably get sued for copyright infringement.
     
  2. BigBrownSanta

    BigBrownSanta New Member

    Me: Do we have any DR bags?

    Sup: No, the budgets been cut.

    Me: How am I supposed to DR pkgs in the rain?

    Sup: Find a dry spot.
     
  3. jds4lunch

    jds4lunch What the hell is YOUPS??

    This is my all time favorite

    (after reporting a problem to sup)
    sup: "we'll look into it"
     
  4. outamyway

    outamyway New Member

    My first on road training sup told me on my fisrt day driving. "you have to be aggressive, but safe." I'll never forget that one.
     
  5. outamyway

    outamyway New Member

    The supervisor that handles our payroll problems says that :censored2::censored2::censored2::censored2: to me. I want to slug him in the face. He's one of the most useless sups I've ever seen. Some of us have started asking other sups in other centers to fix our payroll problems. It's embarrassing.
     
  6. rod

    rod retired and happy

    They always told us "aggressive but under control". It was hard to get a good quote out of management at my center. Usually all you saw of them was their back side as they were ignoring you and your problem as they walked away.
     
  7. BigBrownSanta

    BigBrownSanta New Member

    I had 3 sups and a center manager that kept saying that to me about a payroll problem. When it was finally resolved, they paid me $350 more than they would have if they had actually "looked into it".
     
  8. kuff

    kuff New Member

    "I'ts figured in."
     
  9. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    Good one Kuff.
    "I'ts figured in."= your gonna take in the shorts.
     
  10. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    "make it happen"
     
  11. longlunchguy

    longlunchguy Runnin on Empty

    If you look closely at the back of our center manager's neck, there is a ring and a string...pull the string and he says.............."We'll fix that tommorrow!"
     
  12. KBlakk

    KBlakk Overworked & Underpaid

    My personal favorite is when there is a leaking package that has the belt stopped and the sup come up screaming run the belt it's only rain water while the liquid is begining to eat thru the belt.:angry:
     
  13. trickpony1

    trickpony1 Well-Known Member

    "I'll get back with you" is a classic.
     
  14. freeloader

    freeloader geek

    Here's a classic although it's not a quote:

    PT sup in charge of a fairly heavy outbound area. The belt constantly screeches and makes that banging sound like the chain is jumping off the motor drive. He gets this brilliant idea that the belt just needs lubricated. So he gets a few buckets of water and pours it all over the conveyor belt. It is literally raining in the walkway underneath the belt and the conveyor motor is drenched. The next day everything was rusted and the conveyor motor seized up. Amazingly enough, he kept his job.
     
  15. local804

    local804 Well-Known Member

    It is what it is
     
  16. freeloader

    freeloader geek

    Oh I got another. When I was a small sorter way back in the days before overhead scanners, baggers had to read all the packages as they bagged them to prevent missorts. Reading packages really slowed baggers down so near the end of the night the sort manager would tell us to just bag and not read the packages. During an audit, of course we had to read everything all night.

    Sort Manager: if the auditors ask, you read everything, all the time.
    Baggers: yeah, sure, no problem

    Auditor (to bagger): do you read every package, all the time?
    Bagger: uh, no not all the time.

    (Later on, bagger in Sort Manager's office)
    Sort Manager: I thought I told you to say you read everything, all the time.
    Bagger: yes you did
    Sort Manager: Then why did you say that you didn't.
    Bagger: because that's the truth and I didn't want to lie
    Sort Manager: Why on earth would you tell the truth when I told you exactly what to say??
    Bagger: I didn't want to lie
    Sort Manager: good bye
     
  17. freeloader

    freeloader geek

    Alright, last one...

    When you suck, but they can't tell you that you suck, you are just "least best".
     
  18. disneyworld

    disneyworld Active Member

    "It comes off nice"
     
  19. Fnix

    Fnix Active Member

    oh man what center is this? water is not a lubricant
     
  20. no kidding, we had a belt stop running because it was wet...(bottles of water broke open). Never in a million years would I resort to water to lubricate a belt, slide or anything in that manner.