Management Quotes

[outamyway]

Big snow coming tomorrow, reminds me of a district manager telling us the morning of a blizzard 2 years ago during peak "If I hear of anyone of you getting stuck, youre fired!"

Reminds me of a time it was pouring rain here in Las Vegas (yes it happens) We launched late and the center manager sent a message to everyone:

"Let me know if you have any problems getting all your air done on time."
I wrote back: "The rain is a problem"

center manager wrote : "weather conditions are not problems"

I responded:"it never rains here, that is a problem"

What I didn't do was explain that I have to drive have the speed and slow down twice as far away before a turn. The P500 I drive doesn't stop, go or turn on wet roads without being very careful.

 

[LKLND3380]

Sup-- There's a thousand people at the unemployment dept. that want your job.
Me-- Call a few in since we seem to be short handed and could use some more help around here

500 of the have been previously hired by UPS and quit before the end of their first day... An additonal 250 quit before they got their 30 days in... The remaining 250 want the job but think you start at $16.00 an hour...

 

[Jim Kemp]

Supe screaming as loud as he can: Lets go guys hurry up!
Me: I'm the only person around for 200 feet.
Supe: Oh

Our bldg is so old that we can only pull out in single file. There is about 20 cars in the line up and the sups will go to the wrong end and start yelling at us to hurry up and leave bldg. I just give them a dumb look(which is not that hard for me) and point them to the other end of the belt. I quess they think I have a teleporter(whatever that thing they had on Star Treck was) or something

 

[wornoutupser]

One of my favorites was " Doc, you have to give him something to make him stop throwing up, he has to work today" as my old on road was thrown out of my doctor's office when I was sick!

 

[rockymtnupser]

Heres one
sup. You dr met cust woman on such and such a day at such and such address is this residential or commercial?
me. I driver released such and such on such and such?
sup. Yes is it res or comm?
me. I dr it right?
sup.yes
me. I think you answered your own question.
no response

 

[tieguy]

good thread. we should provide copies of these posts in our management training classes.

 

[Griff]

At peak:

Sup from another center: "Just DR everything front door and I'll deliver them, you can take credit for them."

Me: "I don't think so buddy."

Sup: "Why?"

Me: "You're kidding, right?"

Sup: blank stare.

 

[Meadowlandsmechanic]

It is what it is

I hear that one alot until they are in a jam then it's " make it happen"

 

[Tony31yrs]

new guy- "Is it hard to get into supervision here?

me-"No and you get a free tie with the lobotomy!"

 

[Big Babooba]

Reminds me of a time it was pouring rain here in Las Vegas (yes it happens) We launched late and the center manager sent a message to everyone:

"Let me know if you have any problems getting all your air done on time."
I wrote back: "The rain is a problem"

center manager wrote : "weather conditions are not problems"

I responded:"it never rains here, that is a problem"

What I didn't do was explain that I have to drive have the speed and slow down twice as far away before a turn. The P500 I drive doesn't stop, go or turn on wet roads without being very careful.

Heaven forbid that it should snow!

 

[KBlakk]

How bout this classic:
Hourly: I can't move that fast it's unsafe
Sup: When I was an hourly :: insert unreal story here ::
Hourly: But times have changed.
Sup: It's still the same boxes and routes

 

[Tony31yrs]

Sup- "_______ shouldn't affect how long it takes to do your route."


Insert any of the following words: snow, rain, construction, breakdown, etc.

 

[trplnkl]

It's still the same boxes and routes

Don't know if your sup is really that stupid or thinks you are. They are NOT in FACT the same boxes. The weight and/or dimensions have changed over the years. It's not the same route because there are more stops to do in a shorter period of time. Not only has allowances changed, but the delivery window has shrunken. More stops to do in a shorter period of time.

 

[traveler]

Not a management quote but a funny and true story (the numbers are from memory so don't pay too much mind to them as fact):

I was chatting with a young woman who was a personnel clerk (pardon the dated titles) and she was telling me about the small farm she and her husband just bought and moved to. This all took place in the key entry room of a small office in New York State. She related that one of her new prize chickens laid five eggs per week. One of the key entry girls quickly asked, "why doesn't she lay seven eggs each week? one each day" to which another girl quickly said, "if the chicken worked for UPS she would!"

 

[tieguy]

Don't know if your sup is really that stupid or thinks you are. They are NOT in FACT the same boxes. The weight and/or dimensions have changed over the years. It's not the same route because there are more stops to do in a shorter period of time. Not only has allowances changed, but the delivery window has shrunken. More stops to do in a shorter period of time.

hopefully in a smaller tighter area. I went back and revisited my old route. Its now broken up into three different routes.

 

[Fnix]

hopefully in a smaller tighter area. I went back and revisited my old route. Its now broken up into three different routes.

Do you have any good hourly quotes

 

[tups]

Nice one tonight!!

Sup: Can you check the air box on 123 Main St. The other driver said he couldn't open it.

Me: Ok

Me: Lock is broken, can't open it like the other guy said.

Sup: Can you pry it open?

Me: With what?

Sup: The snow chains.... or attach them to the door and then to the rear bumper of the truck?

Me: Um no....

Sup: Can you take the whole box back to the building with you?


Me: I got to go.......

This is a true story...only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

 

[brownmonster]

I actually had a supe come and pry one open with a large screwdriver.

 

[supercool]

Nice one tonight!!

Sup: Can you check the air box on 123 Main St. The other driver said he couldn't open it.

Me: Ok

Me: Lock is broken, can't open it like the other guy said.

Sup: Can you pry it open?

Me: With what?

Sup: The snow chains.... or attach them to the door and then to the rear bumper of the truck?

Me: Um no....

Sup: Can you take the whole box back to the building with you?


Me: I got to go.......

This is a true story...only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

HAHAHAHA.

We had a trailer full of boxes that were irregs once... all about 80 pounds. Our irreg drivers were slammed and there was no way they'd get all of them done. The FT supe moved me to that door with another guy, and told us to team lift them up the transverses. We questioned why we were sending hundreds of over 70s up the belts, and he said, "well, they're in good boxes!"

 

[rod]

me years ago: I'm 7 miles out and have a flat tire.
center manager: Can you change it?
me: No, I have no spare no jack or no tools.
center manager: Just drive it in- you will be here faster than we can get a service truck to you.
me: you want me to drive it on a flat tire?
center manager: yes
me : okey dokey
About an hour later I limp it into the building - the mechanic just shakes his head as the tire and wheel are both ruined. Next morning the center manager says "I see you ruined a good tire and rim". I replied "no ." Then they got all pissy when to County Hwy Dept followed the gouged up asphalt on the shoulder of the road back to the building. Thought for awhile UPS was going to have to pay for about 5 miles of road repair but the County finally backed off. I was I believe the last time a driver was instructed to drive on a flat