More stupid things customers say

UPSBOI

You don't want to know!
toonertoo said:
Or after you finish hauling an eight pkg lot of Bowflex to a door (where it will be on sale for 50 bucks at a garage sale this summer, unused ) and they say, "do I need to sign for the rest of these?". No just one of them, and heres your sign.

, and you just got more exercise out of it than the customer ever will.....:sweatdrop
 

UPSmeoff

Well-Known Member
The next time someone looks at your stylus pen and that confused look of 'which end should i sign with?' appears.
Tell them that one end is for right handed people and the other end is for left handed people. They either get the joke right away or say, 'oh, i must use this end'.

Also have them speak their name slowly and clearly into the little microphone holes on top the diad.
 
U

UPS Jeff

Guest
When you are driving down the road and an oncoming car flashes their headlights at you, hangs a u-turn and chases you down--just to hand you a recycle toner box with an ARS label.
 

roach

WGASA(Google It):>)
Speaking of "stylus pens":

Last August I got nailed for speeding in Iowa. (No complaints from me as I was suffering from the "HUTAS" at the time - Head Up The Ass Syndrome).

I'd just pulled onto I-80 after spending the night in Council Bluffs and forgot that the speed limit was 55 right there. Three miles out, I got pulled over for doing 78 in a 55 zone - big time violation. Well, I turned on all my "charm" and BS'd with the officer for a while. Didn't get me out of a ticket, but he did reduce it to "65 in a 55" - cost me $56 rather than the $200+ it could have cost.

Oh yeah, getting back to the "stylus pen" - the Iowa State Highway Patrol cars have this really neat computer system in their cars - it shows your ticket on this screen and then you take a stylus and sign the screen and it prints your ticket right on the spot. Anyway, when the Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE" !!!!!!!

I ask him about it and he says he lost his and his delivery driver gave him an extra one. Talk about adding insult to injury. :mad:
 

InTheRed

Well-Known Member
roach said:
Anyway, when the Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE" !!!!!!!

I ask him about it and he says he lost his and his delivery driver gave him an extra one. Talk about adding insult to injury. :mad:

..OUCH!

I've only heard of having to "sign a ticket." I never encountered that though. Is this pretty common?
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
"Trooper hands me the stylus to sign my ticket, I look at it and it's emblazoned "UNITED PARCEL SERVICE""

And I say, "Trooper, if you give me a ticket I'll have you charged with receiving stolen property"!!!
 

ergusmc

New Member
a few years ago I had a guy pull up to my truck and ask me "do you have my pkg?" I asked him what his address was and he gave me an address for a town that was 20 miles away from my route. I told him sorry not today...
 

tapatio75

Well-Known Member
I got this one on friday, it as a COD and they were short 3 bucks, since it was inside a mall, and I was there all day, I tried to get the check 3 times. the second time, he said, "let me call the company and ask them if I can give you something back so that the bill would be less than it is"

:sad-little:
 

ups1990

Well-Known Member
When a customer see's THE UPS logo on MY socks and then ask's, "do you have UPS underwear also?" HA HA HA HA HA STOP IT YOUR KILLING ME! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA REALLY STOP IT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
 

evilleace

Well-Known Member
What is it? Don't know usually but the occasional "bowling ball" works just as well

Cold out there today isn't it.

Are you guys the only ones today or will someone else come around with more stuff later?

Did you deliver a package here at 4:45 this morning?

This must be your last stop took you long enough to get here.

Or the best as I struggle with an awkward looking over 70 they ask "is that heavy"

One of the best when I was jumping though was when a lady was at her front door waiting as soon as we pulled up she opened the inside door. Driver was looking for package I was standing outside truck waiting after 2-3 min I start to help him look, she is watching the whole time after another minute or so we sit down buckle up wave and leave the look on her face was priceless.
 

ups1990

Well-Known Member
"These were not suppose to come here. Can you follow me to my place of buss.?"

I say, "how far?"

Customer, "about 3 miles away."
 

UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)

Well-Known Member
"These were not suppose to come here. Can you follow me to my place of buss.?"

I say, "how far?"

Customer, "about 3 miles away."

This also happened to me but in reverse. Lady orders supplies for her business and asks me if I can deliver them to her house, which was about 5 miles away and not on my delivery route. I politely told her I could not and she then offers me $40. I completed the delivery as they were addressed and went on my way. Now, if I would have had more time...
 

tworavens

JuniorMember for 24 Years
I love this thread, I must have heard every one of these comments at some point. Here's one I get a lot:

Customer: "I messed up my signature, can I erase it?"

Me: "Sure, just turn it upside down and shake it." [a la Etch-A-Sketch]

...sits back and watches the fun...
 

ups1990

Well-Known Member
Knock on the front door and say "UPS."

Customer. "what do you want?"

I want you to get your lazy 300lbs off the couch and open the door. You need to sign for your Bowflex, that will probably be picked up by me on a later date.
 

dilligaf

IN VINO VERITAS
Knock on the front door and say "UPS."

Customer. "what do you want?"

I want you to get your lazy 300lbs off the couch and open the door. You need to sign for your Bowflex, that will probably be picked up by me on a later date.
"And that's the truth, :tt2:" love Lily Tomlin!
 
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