More than flirting....

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by CountryLady, Jan 4, 2014.

  1. CountryLady

    CountryLady New Member

    Hello,
    I guess I'm writing this here because I want your point of view....
    I am widowed, live alone and get packages sent to me regularly. I pretty upset to find out that my UPS driver that has been flirting, sexting, and trying to get me to have sex with him is in fact married with a lovely wife and beautiful year old baby.
    J (not his full name) has been delivering my packages via UPS for about three years, he has worked for UPS as a driver for nearly 15 years. I have always had polite and general conversation with him, and once about two years ago I asked him to come in for a cup of hot tea. He accepted and we chit-chatted and he left. I did not think anything of it, after all I am at least 15 years older than him! On the few occasions since then we have continued to have quick conversations when he has made a delivery, he told me about his divorce and how he had full custody of his son because his wife never wanted him, and she left him, his divorce was final last April.
    About a six weeks ago, during a package delivery he asked me if I got a message he left on a package that he left at the door. I told him no, and didn't ask what the message was. He then told me that he didn't have anywhere to be for Thanksgiving and wrote his phone number on my current package, I felt badly for him and thought, "surely he is not coming on to me!" I laughed at myself, to have had that thought and decided to text him because after the three years or so I felt he wasn't a stranger and how sad he didn't have somewhere to be on Thanksgiving. Well I guess I couldn't read his writing and the text was not delivered to him. All it said was Happy Thanksgiving J! The next day I had yet another delivery left on my door. Of course I looked to see if J had left me a message and he had! It said, "needed a hug." At the risk of sounding really stupid, I must confess I still didn't really think he was coming on to me, only that he really needed a hug!
    About two weeks later he came to my door with another package. He asked if I had gotten his message at first I said no because I really thought his intent was because of feeling sad with the holidays. As he was walking away, I said wait, "the hug?" He said yeah, then turned back around and said I could use one now. So we hugged and he left. I told him I had sent a text and hadn't heard back from him, I showed on my phone and he retexted it to himself with the correct number. I scratched my head and thought that was really weird. A few days later, at about 8pm there was a knock at my door, it was J in his personal vehicle with a package for me. He said I knew you would want this and because of the DOT I couldn't come by in my truck and didn't want you to have to wait till tomorrow so here you go.
    He told me he had a crush on me for a long time and brought him how I had invited him for tea and conversations we had. I was shocked. He started texting me at first just implying he wanted more from him... Then he spelled it out...
    I have had a 3 other deliveries and we have kissed and he has wanted more but I told him I wasn't ready, he surely has put the pressure on. As naïve as I sound I was figuring this is really bizarre and something is not right and had decided to not pursue a relationship with him..... ( I have not told him)
    After coming to this conclusion it came to my attention earlier today that he is number 1 not divorced, and lives with his wife. 2, His wife is kind and a very good person not worthy of his behavior. I literally became ill.
    I am now thinking this is some sort of game for him, I was to be a conquest. As I had already decided I had no interest in him that doesn't bother me. What really upsets me is that he is such a pig! How could he risk his job, and family for sex? I have never in my life ever knowingly gone out with a married man as it violates "the woman code" he has put me in a situation I never would have participated in, and I am disgusted by his actions!
    All of my friends that I have discussed this with and viewed the racy texts are shocked by these events and have suggested that I call and advise UPS and or advise his innocent wife. Neither of these options are desirable for me. As he has a family, I do not want him to be fired.... 100% of them say they would want to know if their man was sexting and attempting to have an affair.
    I am tempted to tell him what a fool he is to throw away what's in front of him with both hands; but don't think it will matter. I just don't know what to do.....
     
  2. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    This doesn't sound like a UPS problem. Tell him you know his game and for him to keep it professional going forward. Any further attempts by him to contact you will result in escalating reactions. Don't get UPS involved unless you get more unprofessional info notices.
     
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  3. superballs63

    superballs63 Well-Known Troll Troll

    You could say something to him and to let him know how it makes you feel, and that nothing more will ever happen, and that if he continues to pursue you, you'll call UPS on him.
     
  4. cosmo1

    cosmo1 Just another internet hooligan.

    And, here we go!
     
  5. Sleeve_meet_Heart

    Sleeve_meet_Heart making the unreadable unreadabler

    My suggestion is (I know this is complicated and difficult)
    Ignore him!
     
  6. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I never thought it would happen to me...
     
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  7. CountryLady

    CountryLady New Member

    Let me be clear, I never came on to him!
    After he stated his interest I told him I needed time to catch up to him as I had not considered him in that way for several reasons including his age. He poured on the charm and I believed him and expressed interest back.
    As I stated, I feel that I was to be a conquest and part of some game he is playing with other drivers to see how may women they can bed. I am embarrassed that he targeted me.
    Being widowed sadly I know first hand how devastating it is to loose someone Important and he recklessly shows no regard for anyone.

    I am now thinking any future orders I place I will have sent to a friend's house or I may quit shopping all together. He really disgusts me!
     
  8. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    Wow. If you firmly tell him nothing is going to happen all should be fine. If not then contact ups.


    A game between drivers? Seriously?
     
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  9. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    You got played, you're not the only one that this has happened to.
     
  10. Just have sex with him.....Dear God!..It surely would be quicker! than that novel you just wrote!
     
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  11. CountryLady

    CountryLady New Member

    Seriously Brownslave688!!!!!
    I really feel that he has some game going on and I'm not the only one he has targeted... Ha, call it a gut feeling that I am NOW listening to!
     
  12. bleedinbrown58

    bleedinbrown58 ahhh....the mouth breathers

    Lol I was thinking the same thing! What is this...the Ann Landers column? Why would you post this here? If he worked at Domino's and delivered your pizza instead of packages.......would you call them and recite this novel over the phone?
     
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  13. Sounds more like...desperate and aint getting any! jmho
     
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  14. cosmo1

    cosmo1 Just another internet hooligan.

    Almost a lavender first and then a darker shade, kind of a purple.

    Use the forum default, and you may be a little more believable.
     
  15. Makes you want to go back on the road??..lol
     
  16. CountryLady

    CountryLady New Member

    So BleedingBrown and I'vegottapackage...

    He has an amazing wife that adores him.... I don't suppose you'd be thrilled if it was your wife or sister he was doing this to!
    Shame on you for your replies.
     
  17. bleedinbrown58

    bleedinbrown58 ahhh....the mouth breathers

    Typical woman....you texted him, you just had to stick your tongue down his throat when he brought you a package..lol. It was all great and you ate up the attention till you found out he allegedly lied....now you feel the need to get him fired. Yep, that sounds about right in estrogen world. STFU and chalk it up to a lesson learned. PS...I don't blow my chinese food guy everytime he brings me fried rice.
     
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  18. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    If you get UPS involved he will more than likely lose his job.

    I do know someone though who had someone call in a complaint of harassment and then only because the complainant had stated "I don't want him to lose his job, just to stop talking to me in that way" is why he still had a job.
     
  19. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    Your only made because you feel like you were played. If you came to the conclusion you didn't like him anyway who freaking cares.
     
  20. bleedinbrown58

    bleedinbrown58 ahhh....the mouth breathers

    But in this case....you don't kiss him....and later cry sexual harassment. Not a chance. That's just being a vindictive :censored2:.