MT3 Announces New WTF Program

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Dear Team Members,

Based on the overwhelming success of the WHY (We Hear You) Program, I am proud and honored to announce the WTF Program. But before I tell you all about WTF, let's reflect on WHY, and some of the success stories that YOU made happen.

First, the new directives to reattempt all businesses before 1700 and take a full 60-minute lunch no matter how few hours worked, came directly from employees. So did increased vigilance on Policies and Procedures and a marked increase in OLCCs and Warning Letters. Yes, YOU asked for this, in the pursuit of excellence that characterizes the Purple Promise, because YOU want to serve the customer better and be held more accountable for your actions. Just last week, we terminated a 29-year Ramp Agent over a 2 pound discrepancy in container weight. This employee actually asked to be let go, because they wanted the opportunity to excel, and We gave it to them. Again, We Hear You, and We have acted in the best interests of the employee by allowing them to pursue other career opportunities. See? The WHY Program works!! No wonder upper management saw an 1177% improvement over last year in the SFA category, "I have confidence in upper management".

But now, the big news, and that is the new WTF Program, which means We Transcend Failure. Yes, we will move beyond failure by pretending it never happens at FedEx. Every day, I get letters and emails that say "Matt, WTF are you doing?" or "MT3, WTF does this new policy mean?". WTF simply means that we will not fail, even when we do, because we will simply maneuver around the failure and pretend it is a success!! So simple, yet so effective.

Your CTV missed the outbound aircraft? WTF! DRA scheduled more routes than there are employees to run them? WTF! Customers are angry because new couriers are delivering their Priority Overnight at 1400? WTF! We Transcend the Failure by either lying to the customer OR simply blaming and disciplining the employee, NOT the management that created the inane policy, rule, or procedure.

The CTV missed the aircraft because of "gridlock due to a serious accident", "construction", or "An act of God", not because we made bad decisions. New employees who can't find stops, much less make service? WTF directs us to blame the employee, even though they haven't been adequately trained or have way too many stops for someone with little to no experience. We transcend the failure by giving the employee an OLCC or letter, then tell the customer they didn't get their package on-time because there was a "technology convention" downtown that created a delay. OR, we had a tornado, or maybe even a snowstorm in May when it was 75 degrees outside. This is WTF in-action.

Once again, thank you for everything you do, and for making the commitment to make WTF work. Together, there is no failure we cannot transcend through adherence to Policy and Procedure and following the outstanding leadership you receive from Memphis each and every day. Bravo Zulu! Ground is Good!, and I am an outstanding leader!

Sincerely,

Matthew Thornton III
 
My working theory on the Frontline guy: he has to be good at something. He is the perfect example of the Peter principle-promoted beyond his job skill set. Can you imagine his tactics working at home with his wife and kids? Why he would be living alone and sleeping alone in a New York minute. Great summary Mr. FedEx.
 

Cactus

Just telling it like it is
He is good at something. Making an art-form out of BS. "We will show our customers the purple promise by cutting routes next week." Thanks Mr. WTF3.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Well said sir. A joke that is reality.

One has to wonder why they keep trotting Thornton out there. He has absolutely become a laughingstock, and a symbol of the "joke that is reality" at FedEx. Maybe it's his ego, or maybe FedEx thinks they're scoring points by showcasing their top person of color...I don't know. What I DO know is that I personally love the fact that they chose the biggest idiot possible for the job. At my station, MT3 is openly mocked and laughed-at, even when management is present. In fact, I've seen a few eye rolls and choked-back giggles from management whenever Thornton starts his schtick.

And it is schtick, as in televangelist, used car salesman, and game show host all rolled into one hand-waving, utterly insincere clown that puts a face on the idiocy that is Memphis. Think Rev. Creflo Dollar, Cal Worthington, and Richard Dawson, but even more obnoxious. All the black employees I know hate him, so he isn't scoring any points there, and everyone else pretty much cannot stand him either. Yet he's always back to tell us over and over again just how lazy we are and how much more productive we need to be.

MT3, a true joke that is reality.
 

whenIgetthere

Well-Known Member
MT3 reminds me of an old saying I used to hear, everyone eventually reaches their level of incompetence. I'd say MT3 reached his a long time ago.
 
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