My SFA Doughnut

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    My name is Grajeeb and I want to tell you about my SFA doughnut and how wonderful FedEx is for me! In my home country of Azcrakistan, a doughnut is a very special thing, served only on Victory Day, when we celebrate the destruction of our neighboring land, Buttphukistan. We have but only one doughnut, which we decorate in the colors of our flag, and then slice it into tiny sections so everyone gets a piece. If we have some, we sprinkle dried donkey dung on top for extra special luck and to ensure the death of all enemies of Azcrakistan.

    Can you imagine my happiness when my FedEx manager brought in a whole box of doughnuts, FOR THREE DAYS?!!! I so excited, I wet pants, and then have 4-hour erection like Viagra! Doughnuts, doughnuts, doughnuts!! I so happy I call home and tell family how wonderful FedEx is to me!

    Anyway, to repay my manager and this special company I give great scores of SFA, which is special document that tells workers how FedEx Cares about them. Kind of like Azcrakistan Constitution guaranteeing everyone and their donkey freedom and prosperity.

    I also come in on weekends and wash my truck for free, and work every lunch hour in gratitude for the huge amounts of money I am paid for this job! Back home, when I mine coal, I make 50 lupniks per day, which is about same as $5 per hour USA. I am rich!

    God bless Mr. Smith and this great company. Only someone who cares a great deal would understand the immense power of a doughnut.

    Death to Buttphukistan and long live Fred Smith!
     
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  2. l22

    l22 Active Member

    You seem like a smart person. I have to say I dislike your racism though. I'm going to get a lot of slack for that because this is a message board. As a white female who is married to a person of color, this just seems offensive and uncalled for. I can't stop you from saying what you want though
     
  3. silenze

    silenze Lunch is the best part of the day

    remove the stick from your Buttphukistan
     
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  4. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Well-Known Member

    Brevity is the soul of wit.
     
  5. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Jeez. I purposely used obviously fake names, countries etc. Where is there a mention of color? I am actually married to a person of color as well and if you've read very many of my posts, know that I am very liberal and an advocate for diversity.

    Like someone else said...remove the stick.
     
  6. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Stick your doughnut where it belongs.
     
  7. l22

    l22 Active Member

    Haha that's true. I guess I didn't think much about it and I was pretty drunk when I wrote that
     
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    If you get drunk enough, you can forget you work for FedEx.
     
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  9. l22

    l22 Active Member

    lol. Is it just me or do most people in this business drink heavily. Yours truly included
     
  10. SmithBarney

    SmithBarney Well-Known Member

    My SO told me the other day she was concerned with my drinking..
    She's right I did finish a whole case of Mike's Harder Lemonade, and now that
    I think about it I was also wearing my uniform.

    I guess Fred better not give us our raises, since we'd probably all blow it on Beer.
     
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  11. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    I keep thinking that about brown but then I find myself drunk, covered in pisss and poo, lying flat on my ass in the back of my package car hoping a loader will find me before sunrise.
     
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  12. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Haven't you heard? Liberals can say off color jokes(pun intended) and get away with it. Take Clinton's and DeBlassio's "C.P." joke the other day. Imagine a conservative saying something similar.
     
  13. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Grajeeb is fictitious, as are the countries...obviously. Zero mention of color, race, or nationality. The incident you speak about was completely in context with the crowd, which was basically all-black. De Balssio is married to a black woman, so everyone was pretty much in on the joke. That was the first time I ever heard of the CP deal.

    I'm positive that all 3 of the Black Republicans in the country are outraged.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2016
  14. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Please don't tell me there isn't a double standard.
     
  15. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Of course there is. And there are plenty of double standards on the Right as well.
     
  16. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Such as?
     
  17. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    You're killing me. The Right "owns" patriotism, the military, Jeebus, righteous Capitalist boot-strapping and White Privilege...among many others.
     
  18. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    It's OK. Grajeeb forgive you, nice lady. However, back home in Azcrakistan, women who drink too much are painted green and forced to sleep in the donkey stall for a week.
     
  19. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    But where's the double standard? And haven't you ever heard of limousine liberals? White privilege?
     
  20. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Well-Known Member

    It's not like we stole those from the left. They want nothing to do with any of it.

    Ah, the invisible bogeyman created by guilt-ridden white liberals who really do benefit from racism (or feel like they do) as a way to explain away anything they don't like about society in general or conservatives in particular.
     
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