Nominations For The Thornton Award

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, May 29, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I have created a new award called "The Thornton", in honor of our own MT3. Getting a "Thornie" means that you have totally and utterly failed at something, as in the worst ever, totally incompetent, morally and ethically corrupt and unsalvageable as a human being. It is the opposite of a Baldridge Award, a Grammy, Emmy, or Oscar, and celebrates ruthless greed, prevarication as elevated to an art form, and corporate incompetence as opposed to excellence and integrity.

    MT3 is ineligible, because the award is named for him, but I recommend Ron Johnson of JC Penney as the first nominee for this prestigious honor. The recipient must be living, so failures from the past are ineligible. The winner(s) will receive their Thornton in Memphis, and the award itself will be a 6-foot tall pile of chemically-hardened feces, patterned in the image of MT3 himself, and encased in clear Saran Wrap type plastic to both preserve and enhance this incredible piece of "art".

    Both individuals and teams are eligible.

    The bigger they fail, the more deserving they are of a Thornton.
    Last edited: May 29, 2013
  2. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    I have two nominees if I may sir.

    My first, is the entire DRA team of engineers.
    They have literally created a program that is like comparing 1997 aol dial up technology to say a google fiber project.

    My second is James Hoffa Jr
  3. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Great picks!! This is like comparing a pile of dog crap (Hoffa), with a giant collection of dog crap (Team DRA). Which stinks the worst?
  4. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    I would like to nominate Ken Lay, (posthumously) and the rest of his buddies at Enron. They brought lying to employees while lining their pockets to high art. These are the people mathew Thornton III respects and emulates and should be honored with a Thornie.