soberups
Pees in the brown Koolaid
"Good morning President Obama, this is Prime Minister Livni of Israel. I apologize for waking you but there is a matter of the upmost urgency that must be discussed immediately.
Our intelligence service recently confirmed that Iran is now capable of assembling and deploying a functioning nuclear warhead. We have concluded that our very survival as a nation and a race depends upon eliminating this threat. Accordingly, I have ordered the Israeli Defense Forces to launch an immediate full scale attack.
As we speak, our aircraft are already underway. They are overflying Jordan, and will be over Iraqi airspace within 15 minutes. We will be stationing airborne refueling tankers over Iraq, so that our strike aircraft can refuel on the way to the target and then again on the way home.
Mr. President, I have given my pilots the following instructions. First of all, any aircraft that are damaged and unable to make it home will attempt to land in territory controlled by you, meaning your airbase in Qatar or the airfields you control in Iraq. Second of all, any foreign aircraft or ground forces which attempt to shoot down our fighters or tankers, or in any way interfere with our mission...whether they be Iranian, Iraqi, Jordanian OR American...will be treated as enemy combatants and dealt with accordingly. Mr President, the survival of my nation depends upon the success of this mission, and if we must engage your aircraft as well as those of the enemy we will have no choice but to do so.
And finally, Mr President, I must alert you to the fact that...should you attempt to intercept our strike aircraft or deny them the airspace to refuel in...or should our mission fail for any reason to completely eliminate the Iranian threat...I have held in reserve one full squadron of friend-16's, each equipped with 2 thermonuclear gravity bombs, whose mission it will be to ensure the survival of our nation no matter what the consequences might be. The weapons have been armed, and the release codes have been issued to the pilots. On my order, they will destroy Damascus, Beirut, Riyahd, Tehran, and any remaning Iranian nuclear or military facilities that were able to survive our initial attack. Another squadron of nuclear-armed aircraft will remain on alert status with target packages for Russia to deter any Russian retaliatory strikes against us. I must ask you at this time, Mr. President, to either join us or at least give me your word that our aircraft will be granted safe passage across the Iraqi airspace you control. Mr President, as we speak our aircraft are entering that airspace....and in less than 40 minutes they will cross the Iranian frontier and begin their attack run. I need your answer right now, President Obama...do you stand with us?"
Our intelligence service recently confirmed that Iran is now capable of assembling and deploying a functioning nuclear warhead. We have concluded that our very survival as a nation and a race depends upon eliminating this threat. Accordingly, I have ordered the Israeli Defense Forces to launch an immediate full scale attack.
As we speak, our aircraft are already underway. They are overflying Jordan, and will be over Iraqi airspace within 15 minutes. We will be stationing airborne refueling tankers over Iraq, so that our strike aircraft can refuel on the way to the target and then again on the way home.
Mr. President, I have given my pilots the following instructions. First of all, any aircraft that are damaged and unable to make it home will attempt to land in territory controlled by you, meaning your airbase in Qatar or the airfields you control in Iraq. Second of all, any foreign aircraft or ground forces which attempt to shoot down our fighters or tankers, or in any way interfere with our mission...whether they be Iranian, Iraqi, Jordanian OR American...will be treated as enemy combatants and dealt with accordingly. Mr President, the survival of my nation depends upon the success of this mission, and if we must engage your aircraft as well as those of the enemy we will have no choice but to do so.
And finally, Mr President, I must alert you to the fact that...should you attempt to intercept our strike aircraft or deny them the airspace to refuel in...or should our mission fail for any reason to completely eliminate the Iranian threat...I have held in reserve one full squadron of friend-16's, each equipped with 2 thermonuclear gravity bombs, whose mission it will be to ensure the survival of our nation no matter what the consequences might be. The weapons have been armed, and the release codes have been issued to the pilots. On my order, they will destroy Damascus, Beirut, Riyahd, Tehran, and any remaning Iranian nuclear or military facilities that were able to survive our initial attack. Another squadron of nuclear-armed aircraft will remain on alert status with target packages for Russia to deter any Russian retaliatory strikes against us. I must ask you at this time, Mr. President, to either join us or at least give me your word that our aircraft will be granted safe passage across the Iraqi airspace you control. Mr President, as we speak our aircraft are entering that airspace....and in less than 40 minutes they will cross the Iranian frontier and begin their attack run. I need your answer right now, President Obama...do you stand with us?"
Noooo! That would never happen, right? 
