Oh yes....

Coldworld

60 months and counting
how about.."Im going to let you put that package inside for me." This one is usually a grandpa/grandma statement and drives me NUTS!
 

Big Babooba

Well-Known Member
Where are your doors? Don't you get cold in the winter?
-This is a summer truck. The winter trucks with the doors are in storage right now.
Oh, I see.
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
Im sure some of you can relate to this one...

YES... I will take 15 stops from "john" before I leave the bldg..

NO...Im not going to take 30 more stops from "john" at 6:00 pm!!
 

old levi's

blank space
After handing the customer a single pkg. " Do you have anything else for me? "

" Yes ma'am, I have 6 more packages, but I'm going to bring them up to the house one at a time." :biting:



" Is it hot enough for you? "

" No, you simple idiot. I wish it was 10 degrees hotter so I could incinerate right before your eyes. " :angry-very:
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
any of you ever have someone trip out over a small scuff on the box and they think we were abusing it. To my eyes the box looks almost mint, especially considering how jacked some boxes look, but they still want you to note the "damage". oh, the volumes and volumes of books we could write about this job!
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
how about making a delivery at 4:30 and the customer is asking you why your still out delivering..."shouldn't you be off my now?"......oh if they only knew!
 

soberups

Pees in the brown Koolaid
Yes..I'd be glad to fill out that money order for you.
I used to have a Mexican store on my route that catered to the local Hispanic population. The lady that ran it spoke decent English but did not write particularly well, so she would have me fill out the C.O.D. checks for her. She was always ready to do business when I got there, she would have her checkbook out on the counter and all the checks dated and signed, she just needed me to write the consignees name and dollar amount in English. It actually made things easier for me because I never had to wait around and in 6 years I dont think she ever had a send again.
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
How about walking into an office or front desk with a handtruck of boxes and the first thing they ask you is "can I help you?" Ummmm, you see the boxes and the brown uniform, and me shoving the diad into your hands... are you really that oblivious at whats going on??
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
Yes its a cable box for your tv,and no,I.m not going to hook it up for you

Aren't you afraid your gonna fall out the door?

When do you go back for your next load?

Thats not my signature
"can I try signing it again???"
"Can you erase that?"
Please put it in the living room,I want to make sure its all here before I sign for it.

Hang on while I call my husband.

Whats that hanging under your truck?

Really? every single box needs an address?,I thought when you scan it they have that information.

Do you have any fragile stickers?(never a good sign)

Mr Green is at a meeting,sit down and have a coffee

Even worse....call the center ASAP
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
YES...it is hot enough for me today, thanks for asking.

YES...I am working late this evening.

YES...I do have something for you.

Sometimes I say, "no, Im just stopping by to say hi...sometimes people laugh, others get the feeling that Im being a smart asssss, which I am.Sometimes a stupid question needs a smart answer.

YES...I have heard the UPS/FedEx "Fed Up" joke, thanks anyway.

YES...it is raining outside.

YES...I have the "2-55" air conditioner in my truck, ha ha ha.

YES...Christmas is sort of a busy time for us.

YES...they try to have us make right turns only.

Attention Union negotiating committee....in our next contract, I would like to have the ability to trade 1 (one) optional holiday in exchange for the ability to :censored2:-slap an ignorant customer without fear of termination.
 

longlunchguy

Runnin on Empty
YES ......I can come back later
YES.......I have tape, and will be happy to tape that pkg up for you
YES.......I will skip my lunch and make 9.5
 

DeputyDip

Backwoods Hillbilly
Yes....Your yapping lap hound tried to bite me again....
Yes....I think I broke his leg....
Yes....I have long pants....
No....This isn't the truck Dale Jarrett drove....
No....I haven't delivered anything to Big Brown's stable....
No....I can't pick you up a pack of Marlboro Reds....
No....I haven't seen your kid....
 

Re-Raise

Well-Known Member
Whenever someone asks me what it is I just tell them with a straght face ... I am not sure they told me to stop looking in the packages...

And if they ask me if my truck always leaks like that I tell them .. Only when it rains.

Another favorite is when their nutcase dog is circling you and they say 'Don't worry he doesn't bite.' .. He doesn' t bite you , that doesn 't mean he won 't bite me, get him under control.
 
NO... we haven't taken cash in 10 years! NO... I wont wait while you go to the bank to get a money order!! NO... I dont care to carry these pkgs to the back because your lazy. NO... I'm not getting out eventhough he wont bite!! NO... Dale Jarrett isn't gonna race the friggin truck!! NO... I wont take you pkgs somewhere else like the note on the door says!! NO... I cant get you a driving job! YES.. all we do is ride around all day! YES..I'll wait, you're the only person I have pkgs for today! YES..I have UPS underwear, but I'm going commando today! NO...I dont know what it cost to ship a pkg to your sister! NO...I think anyone should be able to handle 150lbs. pkgs!! YES..I understand what management expects..Go out with 2 days of work,dont have any late air, no commercial deliveries between 12-1300, no missed pieces, use safe work methods which is absolute BS. and take an hour lunch without being over 9.5!! YES..I'm much to young to feel this damn old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
NO... we haven't taken cash in 10 years! NO... I wont wait while you go to the bank to get a money order!! NO... I dont care to carry these pkgs to the back because your lazy. NO... I'm not getting out eventhough he wont bite!! NO... Dale Jarrett isn't gonna race the friggin truck!! NO... I wont take you pkgs somewhere else like the note on the door says!! NO... I cant get you a driving job! YES.. all we do is ride around all day! YES..I'll wait, you're the only person I have pkgs for today! YES..I have UPS underwear, but I'm going commando today! NO...I dont know what it cost to ship a pkg to your sister! NO...I think anyone should be able to handle 150lbs. pkgs!! YES..I understand what management expects..Go out with 2 days of work,dont have any late air, no commercial deliveries between 12-1300, no missed pieces, use safe work methods which is absolute BS. and take an hour lunch without being over 9.5!! YES..I'm much to young to feel this damn old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​
Its nice to know were all in this sinking boat ...TOGETHER!!!
:boat:
 
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