One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal

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If we go to Louisiana I'll Bayou something nice.

 

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Have you heard about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?

It's called Sosumi.

 

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Did you know that Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible - it says Noah looked out of the "ark ... an ... saw."

How did Moses drink his tea? He-brews it.

Which woman in the Bible was smartest financially? Pharaohs daughter! She went to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

 

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Caught on the Job......

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”

 

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Women are like telephones ... They love to be held. They

love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button,

you're DISCONNECTED.

 

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Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

 

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“Rejection is all about who you no.”

 

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Q: Who is the Patron Saint of Email?
A: St. Francis of a CC

 

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Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A: "You're fun to hang around with."

 

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What does a clock do when it's hungry ?


Goes back four seconds.

 

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Making fun of dead people is a grave mistake!

 

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Teenager's post.....

 

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“The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.”

 

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Indian Birth Names
This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

"Why is my sister named "Cornflower"?

"Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived."

"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

 

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I came up a with a new toothbrush. So I tried to fund it on Kicks Tartar.

 

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet.

~Rita Rudner~

 

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Shaking hands with a dog always gives me paws.

 

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Rickey Smiley: White Church......
I joined a white church because white people get out on time