One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
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moreluck
golden ticket member
A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!"
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position."
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front!"
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position."
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the front!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested.
Then God created man, and then they both rested.
Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.
This joke was reprinted from "The Book of Catholic Jokes" by Deacon Tom Sheridan,
Then God created man, and then they both rested.
Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.
This joke was reprinted from "The Book of Catholic Jokes" by Deacon Tom Sheridan,
moreluck
golden ticket member
Mid-life is when ........
Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half- full...of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.
Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans...we are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves...and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!
Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself...and your chins follow suit.
You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering the "big" questions -- what is life, why am I here...how much Healthy Choice ice cream
Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half- full...of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.
Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans...we are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves...and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!
Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself...and your chins follow suit.
You become more reflective in mid-life. You start pondering the "big" questions -- what is life, why am I here...how much Healthy Choice ice cream
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