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Life After Brown
One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 1288454" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p>Great Golfisms.....</p><p>These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead</p><p> </p><p>You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. ~ Lee Trevino</p><p> </p><p>I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett</p><p> </p><p>Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle</p><p>Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner</p><p> </p><p>I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez</p><p> </p><p>After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez</p><p> </p><p>The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis</p><p> </p><p>Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino</p><p> </p><p>My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson</p><p> </p><p>Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny</p><p> </p><p>There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan</p><p> </p><p>Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus</p><p> </p><p>The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells</p><p> </p><p>I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham</p><p> </p><p>If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope</p><p> </p><p>While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon</p><p> </p><p>You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino</p><p> </p><p>I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevin</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 1288454, member: 1246"] Great Golfisms..... These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. ~ Lee Trevino I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevin [/QUOTE]
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