Outsource the Presidency

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by moreluck, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

    Washington , DC, November 2, 2009

    Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
    States
    of America will be out sourced to India as of November 30, 2009.

    The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
    salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and
    related
    overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

    It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the
    President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost
    savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wa).

    "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level
    of
    cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

    Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination.
    Preparations
    for the job move have been underway for some time

    Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai
    India,
    will assume the office of President as of December 1, 2009. Mr. Singh
    was
    born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at
    Niagara Falls , NY , thus making him eligible for the position. He will
    receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other
    benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
    responsibilities without a support staff. (That alone would save
    millions)

    Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be
    working
    primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at
    the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive
    interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be
    President."

    A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
    fully
    aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
    should
    not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues
    either.

    Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
    effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
    can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
    issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the
    spokesperson. "Obama has used them successfully for years, with the
    result
    that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

    Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
    final
    day of employment. Following a 2-week waiting period, he will be
    eligible
    for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be
    eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
    allowed limit.

    Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower,
    Inc..
    to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
    According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new
    position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his
    lifetime.

    A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Obama's extensive
    experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.




     
  2. knightablaze

    knightablaze Member

    0/funny. Also, Reynolds is not a Washington representative.
     
  3. pickup

    pickup Well-Known Member

    I wish this outsourcing happened when Bush took office. We would have had a president who knew how to speak the english language
     
  4. Baba gounj

    Baba gounj pensioner

    too funny
     
  5. Too much to read for me!
     
  6. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    "Spam"-bam thank you ma'am.
     
  7. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    More has posted the Cliff Notes version on the Local 2727 thread just for you.:wink2: