Predictions on where technology is going?

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by tranham, Nov 19, 2008.

  1. tranham

    tranham New Member

    With all the new sensors and stuff in the cars I was thinking (off the clock I swear!) about what other new stuff is coming to keep us in check. My predictions for the future of the package car driver.

    UPS will start issuing workshoes to all service providers. They will contain both GPS, a pedometer, and a scale. We will be guaged on how far we walk from our truck, if we are moving or not (and God forbid running!) and if we are using the handrails to exit the vehicle based on how much weight is placed on the shoes. We can also check the weight of a package by holding it and subtracting our body weight in our free time. Employees will be advised not to try and mess with the new equipment technolgy by trading shoes with a co-worker or steping in puddles. UPS will, of course, continue not to buy socks for the drivers. And the union will tell us how great they are since they got UPS to buy us all shoes!

    Feel free to add your own predictions for the future.

  2. Indy135

    Indy135 New Member

    some decent dockplates at ups freight would be nice....we are still using the dockplates from the 1920s where u have to take the hook and pull it up

    it wouldnt cost that much to put the ones in where u just pull a chain and the plate comes up
  3. under the radar

    under the radar A Trained Professional

    If your doing what your supposed to be doing then you don't have anything to worry about.
  4. scratch

    scratch Least Best Moderator Staff Member

    I predict that one day we will have a system where all packages are unloaded, sorted to the right belt, and loaded into the correct Package Car in the most efficient order. The Package Driver's route will be set up using this wonderful new technology where they can run the route in the best way possible. Miles will be cut, fuel saved, and all our customers will be happy. Maybe one day.
  5. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    Keep your day job, Karnack.:happy-very::happy-very::happy-very:
  6. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    There will be a new "system" for monitoring and enhancing the drivers performance.

    "Airborne Surveillance System--Radio Activated Production Enhancement."

    Think about that acronym for just a minute.:wink2:

    The system will involve cameras in the DIAD, in the package car, and on a headband worn by the driver. These cameras will all transmit in real-time back to monitors in the center. The driver will also be fitted with an earpiece that allows management to verbally communicate with the driver via radio or sattelite uplink.

    The centerpiece of the system---will be a shock collar worn by the driver. If the supervisor feels that the driver is not following the methods or maintaining a "sense of urgency", he can issue verbal warnings to the driver through the earpiece, followed by activating the shock collar at various levels of intensity. Production and SPORH are guranteed to improve. Hopefully there will be at least some language in the contract relating to the duration of the shock and the voltage allowed.

    Imagine the intense, personal level of supervision this will allow management to maintain over the workforce. Production rides will be done from the comfort of an air-conditioned office instead of having to actually go out and sit in a hot, dirty truck. Using multiple monitors, one supervisor can do "virtual" production rides with up to 10 employees simultaneously. The cameras worn and carried by the employee will record the entire day and store it to DVD, so that it can be reviewed later and corrective action taken for any method infractions observed.

    Airborne Surveillance Systems Radio Activated Production Enhancement---bringing UPS management into the 21st Century!!
  7. Indy135

    Indy135 New Member

  8. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    Resistance is futile.
  9. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    I'm soooo glad I an on the short list now. LOL
    Instead of a shock collar, they will implant a a device directly into the buttocks, so they can "kick" you in the ass remotely.
  10. rod

    rod retired and happy

    The shock collar won't be on a human driver..............they will of finally taught that damn monkey to drive :peaceful: Either that or they will clone that driver they always talk about "that is soooooooooooooooooo much faster that you".
  11. trickpony1

    trickpony1 Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't worry about cloning.
    In the very near future "breeding farms", not unlike Hitler's master plan, will emerge.
    Only the finest hourly and/or management folks will be assigned to the farms to propagate the finest, most desirable and select genes for the future generations of the Brown Nation.
    Sig Heil!
  12. 3 done 3 to go

    3 done 3 to go In control of my own destiny

    Don't worry what ever new junk they dream of will only slow us down. I love doing less and less work. I now do 10/15 less stops since PAS(piece of Sith)
  13. Covemastah

    Covemastah Suspension Ovah !!! Tom is free FU Goodell !!

    When the whole system finally crashes,there will be only a few grey haired men with their short hair,covered tats with no underwear showing or pierced tounge ,nipples or lips showing delivering to houses on paper clip boards and area knowledge from school of hard knox still making it happen {it will be a small, but efficient elite team of men}} long pants will be optional !!!!
  14. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

    Safe driving ability will be determined by a rectal probe that will measure how many "puckers" each driver has during the day. On the bright side the 10 point commentary will no longer be used. On the down side lube will be an extra cost option borne by the driver. On the bright side if UPS trys to price gouge drivers at the lube vending machine 705Redjr will grieve it based on his fathers past practice filings.
  15. rod

    rod retired and happy

    I mean seroiusly--ya got to love this:happy-very:
  16. landrick

    landrick New Member

    "The pucker factor." That laugh made my day. In fact, I think that made my whole week. Inspired!
  17. Indy135

    Indy135 New Member

    :censored2::censored2::censored2::censored2:in genius post.....LMAO
  18. 705red

    705red Browncafe Steward

    Funny cach! But my little guy wont be working for ups, he will be a labor attorney for the company just to spite me!
  19. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Now that's funny.:wink2:
  20. That was nice lol sounds like my kids !!!!!1:whiteflag: