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<blockquote data-quote="Catatonic" data-source="post: 405420" data-attributes="member: 7966"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. </span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. </span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">10. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. </span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head." </span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "KEEP OFF THE GRASS." </span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">15. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">17. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now </span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">a seasoned veteran.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">18. A backward poet writes inverse.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">19. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">20. When cannibals ate a missionary, They got a taste of religion.</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">21. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects!</span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">OK...I know these are bad . It's a free country. You did not have to read them.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Catatonic, post: 405420, member: 7966"] [FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]10. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head." [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "KEEP OFF THE GRASS." [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]15. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]17. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now [/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]a seasoned veteran.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]18. A backward poet writes inverse.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]19. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]20. When cannibals ate a missionary, They got a taste of religion.[/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]21. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects![/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]OK...I know these are bad . It's a free country. You did not have to read them.[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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