Random Myth's and other Lie's

[UnconTROLLed]

I know who your talking about, I get a kick out of that! I see her all the time.

 

[Jones]

Ok - help me out here. There used to be a standing joke about the worlds 3 biggest lies.


1. The check is in the mail

2. I promise I won't ---- in your

3. ??????????

I think you covered it. I always heard the joke as the being the worlds two biggest lies.

 

[bubsdad]

Here are the two biggest ones told to me at interview when I was hired:
"Work will slow down a little in January and maybe February but then it will pick up again"

"We have at least 35 guys that are going to retire in the next two years"
What a bunch of crap on both accounts.

 

[trplnkl]

No Exceptions

 

[City Driver]

from management

"home is your most important stop"

funny, they use to tell me baker and taylor was the most important stop

 

[Mike23]

Got a good one from Friday when asking how the time studies was done. Apparently pickups are worth twice the time allowance of deliveries so I was told, 'The more pickups you do the less we put on your truck'.

Umm, I had FIVE new dailies added and nothing taken off...shouldn't that be my 10 resies off my truck? Oh, wait, it's management math, I forgot, only they know how it works because it's 'a complicated mathematical formula'.

I still think we're hiding that formula in the FedEx building.

 

[code5]

A fair days work for a fair days pay.

 

[Big Babooba]

Got a good one from Friday when asking how the time studies was done. Apparently pickups are worth twice the time allowance of deliveries so I was told, 'The more pickups you do the less we put on your truck'.

Umm, I had FIVE new dailies added and nothing taken off...shouldn't that be my 10 resies off my truck? Oh, wait, it's management math, I forgot, only they know how it works because it's 'a complicated mathematical formula'.

I still think we're hiding that formula in the FedEx building.

Remember, YOU brought up the subject.

rate in: 2 x 0.50
rate out: 1 x s(t)/(100+t)

s'(t) = 1- s(t)/(100+t)
s'(t) + s(t)/(100+t) = 1

a(t) = 1/(100+t) , b(t) = 1

using u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt)):
u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt))
u(t) = exp (ln (100+t))
u(t) = 100+t

using d/dt u(t)s(t) = u(t)b(t):
d/dt [(100+t)s(t)]= (100+t)(1)
(100+t)s(t)=integ(100+t)
(100+t)s(t) = 100t + 1/2t^2 + C
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2 +C ]/(100+t)

sub s(0) = 0 into s(t)
0 = [0+0+c]/[100+0]
c= 0
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/(100+t)

c(t) = s(t)/100
c(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/100(100+t)

500 = 100+t
t= 400
then found c(t)

c(400) = [100(400)+1/2(400)^2]/100(100+400)
c(400) = 2.4

 

[City Driver]

Remember, YOU brought up the subject.

rate in: 2 x 0.50
rate out: 1 x s(t)/(100+t)

s'(t) = 1- s(t)/(100+t)
s'(t) + s(t)/(100+t) = 1

a(t) = 1/(100+t) , b(t) = 1

using u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt)):
u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt))
u(t) = exp (ln (100+t))
u(t) = 100+t

using d/dt u(t)s(t) = u(t)b(t):
d/dt [(100+t)s(t)]= (100+t)(1)
(100+t)s(t)=integ(100+t)
(100+t)s(t) = 100t + 1/2t^2 + C
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2 +C ]/(100+t)

sub s(0) = 0 into s(t)
0 = [0+0+c]/[100+0]
c= 0
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/(100+t)

c(t) = s(t)/100
c(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/100(100+t)

500 = 100+t
t= 400
then found c(t)

c(400) = [100(400)+1/2(400)^2]/100(100+400)
c(400) = 2.4

 

[bluehdmc]

Ok - help me out here. There used to be a standing joke about the worlds 3 biggest lies.


1. The check is in the mail

2. I promise I won't ---- in your

3. ??????????

1. The check is in the mail

2. I'll respect you in the morning

3. The computer is down/we have a systems/software problem

(or has the word problem been replaced by "issues")

 

[upsclerk]

We have a plan...we are going to fix the preload.

 

[JustTired]

Got a good one from Friday when asking how the time studies was done. Apparently pickups are worth twice the time allowance of deliveries so I was told, 'The more pickups you do the less we put on your truck'.

Umm, I had FIVE new dailies added and nothing taken off...shouldn't that be my 10 resies off my truck?

That's not how it works. You should know better. But if you lose just one of those pickups.......you will have 10 "resies" added. God help you if you lose more than 1.

On a related note.....I once had a bridge out that sent me 8 miles (twice a day) out of my way to get around it. I asked for an adjustment to my dispatch to compensate. Nothing happened and for many months I just bit the bullet and forgot about it.

Now , here's the kicker......when the bridge opened back up, they wanted to add stops on. I told them that they never took anything off. So (at least at that point) they backed off. Unbelievable!!!.......Not!!!

 

[Mike23]

Remember, YOU brought up the subject.

rate in: 2 x 0.50
rate out: 1 x s(t)/(100+t)

s'(t) = 1- s(t)/(100+t)
s'(t) + s(t)/(100+t) = 1

a(t) = 1/(100+t) , b(t) = 1

using u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt)):
u(t) = exp(integ(a(t)dt))
u(t) = exp (ln (100+t))
u(t) = 100+t

using d/dt u(t)s(t) = u(t)b(t):
d/dt [(100+t)s(t)]= (100+t)(1)
(100+t)s(t)=integ(100+t)
(100+t)s(t) = 100t + 1/2t^2 + C
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2 +C ]/(100+t)

sub s(0) = 0 into s(t)
0 = [0+0+c]/[100+0]
c= 0
s(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/(100+t)

c(t) = s(t)/100
c(t) = [100t + 1/2t^2]/100(100+t)

500 = 100+t
t= 400
then found c(t)

c(400) = [100(400)+1/2(400)^2]/100(100+400)
c(400) = 2.4

Ooooooh, so it all comes back to 2.4! I HATE 2.4!

 

[upser_J]

"We make money on the pickups not the delivery"

in all honesty this one is kinda true though, in general UPS only gets paid to pick up a box, they don't charge the receiver of the box the delivery charge. haha


plus, i doubt they'd "care" as much for safety if they didn't have to pay claims and insurance

 

[trplnkl]

in all honesty this one is kinda true though, in general UPS only gets paid to pick up a box, they don't charge the receiver of the box the delivery charge. haha


plus, i doubt they'd "care" as much for safety if they didn't have to pay claims and insurance

Actually we are getting paid to move packages from point A to point B, we just get the pay from point A(generally).

I agree on the safety issue, Including the legal aspect.

 

[ORLY!?!]

Fedex can compete with UPS under the same labor laws.

Ha, thats rich LOL!

 

[ORLY!?!]

"we are in a recession" is my fav XD

 

[No such person]

We've been told that putting a pkg. in a driver release bag doesn't add any time to the delivery. And after telematics started they said going through a closed bulkhead door takes the same amount of time as going through an open one.

 

[No such person]

Ok - help me out here. There used to be a standing joke about the worlds 3 biggest lies.


1. The check is in the mail

2. I promise I won't ---- in your

3. ??????????

 

[No such person]

3. We're from the government and we're here to help