Riddles

Discussion in 'Lighten UPS' started by chev, Nov 23, 2008.

  1. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
    :sick:
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    Q. What's a mixed feeling?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]Q What's the height of conceit?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

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    Q. What's the definition of macho?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

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    Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

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    Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

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    Q.Why is divorce so expensive?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. Because it's worth it!

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    Q. What is a Yankee?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

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    Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. They both like a tight seal.

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    Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. Their balls are just for decoration.

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    Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. About three inches.

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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?[/FONT]
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    A. The grip.

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    Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A. It's not hard.

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    Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

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    Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A: 45 pounds.

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    Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A: 45 minutes.

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    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A: Breasts don't have eyes.

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    Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

    A. The swallow.[/FONT]

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    Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?[/FONT]
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    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.[/FONT]

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    Q[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]:[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]A[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]:[/FONT][FONT=&quot] They don't have balls to scratch![/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
     
  2. LiL"Comet"

    LiL"Comet" New Member

    How do we know Santa's a man???



    Because he shows up late, eats your cookie, empty's his sack, cums only once, calls you a ho :surprised: and leaves when your sleeping...:lol:
     
  3. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    What does a Polish woman get on her wedding night that is long and hard?


    A new last name.
     
  4. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q. Why do men always orgasm before women do?

    A. Who cares?
     
  5. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

    mmmmmmm....... nothing like eating a nice cookie.
     
  6. LiL"Comet"

    LiL"Comet" New Member


    that's one of those text messages I got man I get 10 a day just jokes I almost didn't post it but I thought it was funny!!:surprised: I figured someone would take it the wrong way

    If you can't have laughs and humor I feel sorry for those life's what you make of it.. I have a new friend on BC Chev have you noticed who it is? I think she read this post and thinks I'm flirting arounnnddddd..

    Funny how some people take things. Don't eat to many cookies Chevy:wink2: you might a belly ache.
     
  7. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

    :surprised: Whaaaa..... Why, whatever do you mean? :wink2:
    I like sugar cookies. :happy-very::wink2:
     
  8. Paid-over-in-Maine

    Paid-over-in-Maine 15 more years of this!

    Whats the difference between a Triscuit and a Lesbian?

    Ones a snack cracker the other is a crack snacker
     
  9. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q What do you call a lesbian from Alaska?

    A. A klondike.
     
  10. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q. Why do you always want to invite two Mormons to go on a fishing trip with you?

    A. If you only bring one, he will drink all your beer.
     
  11. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q. What illness does David Carradine suffer from?

    A. Kung Flu
     
  12. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q. Why do cherry trees stink?

    A. Because George Washington cut one.
     
  13. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Q. What did the leper say to the hooker?

    A. "You can keep the tip"
     
  14. Paid-over-in-Maine

    Paid-over-in-Maine 15 more years of this!

    Q. Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and funeral

    A. 1 less drunk
     
  15. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

    :sick:Aww man thats just gross. :happy-very:
     
  16. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey


    Bad but I like it. If I remember it it will be passed on.