Some Ideas to Explain Your Next Accident

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Leftinbuilding, May 8, 2007.

  1. Leftinbuilding

    Leftinbuilding Active Member

    Strange Accident Reports


    Many people who experienced automobile accidents were asked to explain what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms. The following are apparently true quotes...

    Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

    I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscurring my vision. I did not see the other car.

    I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.

    The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

    I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

    The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cat.

    The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front.

    I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
     
  2. tieguy

    tieguy Banned

    priceless!!!

    more ideas?

    I choked on a taco and had to wash it down with a beer.

    shop steward: Isn't it true you were attacked by the taco and had to fight it off with the beer?

    shop steward: In fact I'm going to file a grievance becasue none of the other drivers have a beer to defend theirselves with should they be attacked by a taco. Clearly a beer should be mounted and maintained in every package car by the company.

    shop steward: now now I realize he was standing in a room with 20 dead bodies and a bloody knife in his hand but judge not less you be judged.

    shop steward: now let me tell you sometin there was a time when a supervisor fabricated standing on one leg on top of a beach ball therefore all cases where you choke on a taco and have to wash it down with a beer should get thrown out of court.

    shop steward: the correct first aid for choking is to fight the bodies natural instinct to export the foriegn material by flooding the throat with an alcoholic beverage.

    stop steward: well your honor I'm sure the guy is legit its just that the company moved everybody in the building, and the building itself while he was fired hoping he would not find them again.

    shop steward: You honor my client is now remediated and deserves another shot. why look in the 8 months he was off he improved from second grade level writing skills to PHD caliber. No one has ever improved so much.

    shop steward: well your honor I know the man had 12 witnesses in the room who deny it happened but you have to remember that the man screwed up and turned them against him when he put too much taco sauce on their tacos.

    shop steward; yes sir we think the man was working as a CIA spy so they fired him by putting him on super secret discharge. Oh no never mind they had him on workmans comp the whole time. yep and he cashed in his pension to pay the bills. And he worked with a broken arm and shoulder for a week because they had no one else. and then they fired him because they found someone else. Yes sir a strange twist of fate.

    shop steward: well its like this If I kick his ass and tell him to take pride in his union labor then he might actually do it. Then what the hell do I do to get out of work?
     
  3. Leftinbuilding

    Leftinbuilding Active Member

    Start your own thread. :mad: :wink:
     
  4. tieguy

    tieguy Banned

    LOL, trying to be efficent. :thumbup1: