St. Patrick's Day
- Thread starter moreluck
- Start date
moreluck
golden ticket member
moreluck
golden ticket member
St Patricks Day Sausage.....
Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them.
Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage.
Sean is really pissed off at first that Paddy spent their last money on a sausage, but Paddy lets him in on his plan.
"We are going into the next pub, order two pints, drink them and when it comes to paying you go down on your knees, unzip my trousers, pull the sausage out and start sucking on it"
So, they go into the first pub and do exactly as Paddy suggested. The barmaid is disgusted by the sight and kicks the two out.
Paddy says: "see it works, we didn't pay did we?"
As Paddy's plan seems to be working they carry on doing it...
In the 12th pub, both are quite drunk by now, Sean isn't looking to good. They have just finished their pints...
Sean: "I can't do this anymore Paddy my bloody knees are hurting as friend&#k...!"
Paddy: "No worries...I lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!"
Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them.
Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage.
Sean is really pissed off at first that Paddy spent their last money on a sausage, but Paddy lets him in on his plan.
"We are going into the next pub, order two pints, drink them and when it comes to paying you go down on your knees, unzip my trousers, pull the sausage out and start sucking on it"
So, they go into the first pub and do exactly as Paddy suggested. The barmaid is disgusted by the sight and kicks the two out.
Paddy says: "see it works, we didn't pay did we?"
As Paddy's plan seems to be working they carry on doing it...
In the 12th pub, both are quite drunk by now, Sean isn't looking to good. They have just finished their pints...
Sean: "I can't do this anymore Paddy my bloody knees are hurting as friend&#k...!"
Paddy: "No worries...I lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
Irish Priest
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
PT Stewie
"Big Fella"
I was down the glen one Easter morn
To a city fair rode I
There armed lines of marching men
In squadrons passed me by
No pipe did hum, no battle drum did sound it's loud tattoo
But the Angelus Bells o'er the Liffey swells rang out in the foggy dew
Right proudly high in Dublin town
Hung they out a flag of war
'Twas better to die 'neath that Irish sky
Than at Sulva or Sud el Bar
And from the plains of Royal Meath
Strong men came hurrying through
While Brittania's huns with their long range guns
Sailed in through the foggy dew
Their bravest fell and the requiem bell
Rang mournfully and clear
For those who died that Eastertide in the
Springing of the year
While the world did gaze with deep amaze
At those fearless men but few
Who bore the fight that freedom's light
Might shine through the foggy dew
And back through the glen
I rode again
And my heart with grief was sore
For I parted then with valiant men
Whom I never shall see n'more
But to and fro in my dreams I go
And I kneel and pray for you
For slavery fled oh glorious dead
When you fell in the foggy dew
To a city fair rode I
There armed lines of marching men
In squadrons passed me by
No pipe did hum, no battle drum did sound it's loud tattoo
But the Angelus Bells o'er the Liffey swells rang out in the foggy dew
Right proudly high in Dublin town
Hung they out a flag of war
'Twas better to die 'neath that Irish sky
Than at Sulva or Sud el Bar
And from the plains of Royal Meath
Strong men came hurrying through
While Brittania's huns with their long range guns
Sailed in through the foggy dew
Their bravest fell and the requiem bell
Rang mournfully and clear
For those who died that Eastertide in the
Springing of the year
While the world did gaze with deep amaze
At those fearless men but few
Who bore the fight that freedom's light
Might shine through the foggy dew
And back through the glen
I rode again
And my heart with grief was sore
For I parted then with valiant men
Whom I never shall see n'more
But to and fro in my dreams I go
And I kneel and pray for you
For slavery fled oh glorious dead
When you fell in the foggy dew
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