The Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by But Benefits Are Great!, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. But Benefits Are Great!

    But Benefits Are Great! Just Words On A Screen

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Twas da night before Christmas, and all tru da block
    Not a creature was stirrin, not even Ed Koch

    Da stockins were hung, by da furnace wit care
    In hopes that by mornin, they'd all still be dere

    Me and dis skank was gettin ready for bed
    I wore pajamas.....She had a paper bag for her head

    When up on da roof I heard dis big crash
    Thought it was burgular, I was gonna kick ass

    I went out on da firescape, Looked up in da sky
    And what did I see..... but Dis freakin fat guy

    Wit a red suit and boots, Dat came up to his knees
    In da moonlight he looked Just like Dom Deluise

    He had a big sled Pulled by deese reindeer
    He called one of them dancer - So I assumed he was queer

    As he crept off the roof It became clear to me
    Dat dis guy was looking To steal my TV

    Over his shoulder He had a big sack
    He came down the stairs as I planned my attack

    I waited a second Until the time had seem ripe
    Smacked him in da head Badda-bing wit a pipe

    He fell to da floor Wit a groan and a tud
    I was kinda surprised Dat I didnt see blood

    Instead, he rolled over, looked me in da eye
    When I seen who'd I d hit, I near started to cry

    I said "Yo Santa ,, I'm sorry, aright?
    Not for nuttin he said "But this ain't my night"

    "I got lost in da Bronx, I ran over some nuns,
    Had a near miss by Kennedy, Rudolph's got da runs"

    I'm out all freakin night, Bustin my hump
    But I cant continue now, Not wit dis bump

    So do me a favor and be a real pal
    Take over for me, and be Santa, Sal

    I said, "Yo I'm from Brooklyn, I aint right for da part"
    But he said bein Santa Claus comes from da heart

    He made me an offer I couldnt refuse......
    Stop at every house..........
    'cept for da JEWS

    I got into da suit and stepped onto the sleigh
    Wondering just why reindeer smelled dat way

    Took off on my mission, Didnt wanna be late
    While ol' St Nick spended the night Hosin' my date

    Dat night I was Santa Bringin kids joy and bliss
    And if you dont believe me......
    Then hey, JINGLE DIS

    Since then I've been wit him Each year in da cold
    Ridin shotgun wit Santa......Cause he's fat and he's old

    I'm his number one helper, I've been deputized....
    So on dis Christmas eve, Don't youse be surprised

    If you hear a voice say Real loud and abrupt.....
    Merry Christmas to all

    Thanks alot-- Shut up!!!

    Sal Manella
  2. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    Sounds more like Andrew "Dice" Clay....Santa should have known better, there must of been a sign on da roof stating "Italian parking only"....park here and I break-a-your face.....oooooohhhhhhh
  3. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Is it June already?
  4. scratch

    scratch Least Best Moderator Staff Member

    LOL, I was wondering the same thing.

    BLACKBOX Life is a Highway...

    Sounds like someone reading something with their false teeth removed...
  6. 705red

    705red Browncafe Steward

    There goes my christmas! Bbag came back 6 months earlier than promised. That fsat prick santa screwed me again!!!!!!!!!!!!
  7. InTheRed

    InTheRed New Member

    It's a good peak in Brooklyn when Foster Ave doesn't lose its power on Peak Day Preload.
  8. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    do any of y'all really believe that BBAG hasn't been here everyday?
  9. evilleace

    evilleace Member

    No I think he has been here but I was wondering the same thing as Upstate