Tiger
- Thread starter moreluck
- Start date
It is near the Christmas break of the school year.
The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal..
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John friend. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these #$%%% would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal..
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John friend. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these #$%%% would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Perfect tabloid heading: "Hotcake Hottie Makes Tiger Sizzle".
moreluck
golden ticket member
Woods no longer gets free cars: GM
46 mins ago
NEW YORK (AFP) – US automaker General Motors said their agreement with Tiger Woods that allowed the embattled golf star to have use of its cars for free has ended.
Woods' endorsement deal with GM's Buick brand ended in 2008. However, an arrangement remained in place that allowed him to keep several GM vehicles on loan.
A company spokesman said that arrangement ended on December 31.
Woods has lost a string of endorsement contracts since a November 27 car crash outside his Florida home.
The mysterious accident touched off a sensational sex scandal, with Woods eventually admitting to marital infidelity and declaring that he would take an indefinite break from competition.
The GM spokesman said the vehicle loan arrangement had previously been scheduled to end on December 31.
US telecoms giant AT&T and Accenture, the Dublin-based technology, management and outsourcing consultancy, both dropped their sponsorships of Woods in December.
Other sponsors - Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer and razor-blade giant Gillette - have stopped using his image for the time being.
Sports equipment giant Nike, which pays Woods an estimated 40 million dollars a year, has issued unqualified support for Woods, and electronic game manufacturer Electronic Arts is going ahead with plans to roll out an online game featuring Woods.
46 mins ago
NEW YORK (AFP) – US automaker General Motors said their agreement with Tiger Woods that allowed the embattled golf star to have use of its cars for free has ended.
Woods' endorsement deal with GM's Buick brand ended in 2008. However, an arrangement remained in place that allowed him to keep several GM vehicles on loan.
A company spokesman said that arrangement ended on December 31.
Woods has lost a string of endorsement contracts since a November 27 car crash outside his Florida home.
The mysterious accident touched off a sensational sex scandal, with Woods eventually admitting to marital infidelity and declaring that he would take an indefinite break from competition.
The GM spokesman said the vehicle loan arrangement had previously been scheduled to end on December 31.
US telecoms giant AT&T and Accenture, the Dublin-based technology, management and outsourcing consultancy, both dropped their sponsorships of Woods in December.
Other sponsors - Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer and razor-blade giant Gillette - have stopped using his image for the time being.
Sports equipment giant Nike, which pays Woods an estimated 40 million dollars a year, has issued unqualified support for Woods, and electronic game manufacturer Electronic Arts is going ahead with plans to roll out an online game featuring Woods.
moreluck
golden ticket member
Wah, wah, wah !!! Call the wahmbulance !!
His brow never moved......either he's heavily botoxed or he's just reading the script. Either way, this hound dog's not changing. "Sex Addiction" is just a name put on it by rich people. Ask Geraldo..the godfather of hound dogs.
His brow never moved......either he's heavily botoxed or he's just reading the script. Either way, this hound dog's not changing. "Sex Addiction" is just a name put on it by rich people. Ask Geraldo..the godfather of hound dogs.
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
The only time I normally watch golf is when I am trying to take a nap and can't fall asleep.
I will be watching the Master's just to see Tiger. Personal life aside, he is the best golfer in the world.
I will be watching the Master's just to see Tiger. Personal life aside, he is the best golfer in the world.
Have you seen the one where his dead father is talking to him. How disrespectful can you be to drag your dad into this to make you look better.
I agree, its pretty bad.