Ups driver going through a divorce. It's hard

[IVE GOTTA PACKAGE 4U]

I always had you pegged for a chubby chaser.

So many replies, to that post!

 

[raceanoncr]

All good advice here. I got one more piece at the end of this.

Went thru it too. Won't go into whose fault, both to blame. I gave her everything. I was left with pickup, tools and clothes. Had to pay off EVERYTHING she threw us in debt over. Blah, blah, blah. Lived in apartment that I could sit on chitter, manually change TV station in living room, make the bed in bedroom and cook dinner....AT THE SAME TIME. Moved to ghettoest of ghetto houses. Why? It worked. Got outta HER debt. Started making money, again.

Alone for many years. Fine wif me. Met current wife by accident. She's everything I haven't had. Love her.

OK, one more piece of advice.....DON'T TAKE THIS TO WORK. We've had so MANY peeps come to work cryin, moaning, dragging, during this time, that after you spend a few minutes around them...you want to slash YOUR wrists...to end it all. Sorry, we CAN be sympathetic and we CAN lend an ear but PULLLEEEEESSSSeeee...don't kill us too.

Good luck and know that we're with ya.

 

[bbsam]

I always had you pegged for a chubby chaser.

She wasn't when I married her.

 

[bbsam]

oh, I've...

challenge accepted!

 

[HardknocksUPSer]

To the OP, sorry to hear that happened, I wish you the best, hang in there and goodluck!

 

[jumpman23]

Mid 40s, single with a 60k+ job?

Stop being a puss and do whatever the hell you want.

That's what im saying. Good part about it is he doesn't have any kids. He needs to put a positive twist on it, now he has all the freedom in the world and last time I checked FREEDOM IS HIGHLY UNDER RATED lol. Cant let a woman get in your head and break you down mentally, totally not worth it. Some people are built mentally stronger than others, that's not a shot at the guy, just the truth. As long as shes not taking half of everything he has or will have, then hes going to be just fine. There comes a time in your life like he is in his 40s where everything he does should be preparation toward retirement really. Its not the end of the world if your not married or have any kids. Live your life how you want to live it, not how society wants to program you like a robot, totally not worth it. LIVE LIFE DOG AND DO IT YOUR WAY NOT ANYBODY ELSES WAY. Good luck and youll be just fine. Stay busy and it will work itself out just like anything else in life. Lifes a cycle that goes round ad round, good luck, bad luck, good luck, bad luck and around and around. Lifes always going to have obstacles, up to you to work through them.

 

[brostalss]

This job can put a big strain on marriages. It took a long time for my Wife to understand that on a Saturday after a long hot week, the body needs rest. I used to make her so mad because she just thought I was being lazy. NO IM EXHAUSTED!!

We both just recently got thru the seven year itch. It was a very rough couple of months. With our long days, you aren't there enough as it is and you are tired after a long day. Last thing you want to do is get into an argument. I had to take a few days off thru this because no way was I in any condition to drive.

Just do what you can to keep yourself on other topics. You'll survive and move forward. Learn from it as well.

 

[Raw]

It`s not easy, I`ve had 3 myself and 2 while at UPS. The physical aspect of being a driver got me through the day to release stress! Good luck and lot`s of good people out there. I just keep moving forward and found my love and married her last July!

 

[onehandsolo]

Thanks for the advice. I was fine during football season, but the last few weeks were very hard. I am at piece financially speaking I walked away with some cash my 401k and pension. I did lose the equity in my house. Will probably rent until retirement. I was just really wondering how others made it through this.

 

[onehandsolo]

Work. We had a driver get divorced (granted less than a year of marriage). He made almost 125k last I believe.

I'm curious why does this hard job make divorce harder than someone else's job?

Working late makes it difficult to join support groups and it hurts your social life.

 

[onehandsolo]

Mid 40s, single with a 60k+ job?

Stop being a puss and do whatever the hell you want.

Actually, I made 92k. Last year.

 

[Brownslave688]

Working late makes it difficult to join support groups and it hurts your social life.

Support groups? It sucks but it's over. Move on.

You're a single mid 40's male from 10pm Friday until midnight Sunday go do whatever the hell you please. I it were me M-friend I would be killing it in the gym and working 11-12 hours everyday!!!!! More money equals more fun.

 

[oldngray]

 

[toonertoo]

I was a two timer in 1980. I was single til 2002. And it was the best 22 yrs of my life. Not that I would trade my present husband, hes great, and someone I knew all my life and we just hooked up, totally unexpected.
So this is my 3rd chance and so far it works. I didnt work for UPS during any of the others, but staying busy, helps alot. No time to think. The more time you put between the divorce and the present the better you will be.

I did know that I didnt want anyone that hangs out at a bar all the time, so where do you meet another?
There are plenty of women out there who #1 works like you do, and doesnt know how to find a mate. Because a bar is probably the last place to find one, laundromats not so much either. But you will find one when you are not looking. Until then do what you want. Take a small vaca to start. somewhere close is good, just to get away.
Dont think of it as Oh wahh I am alone, think of it as a choice. Pay close attention to working women in you area, convenience stores, grocery stores, pet stores.......Indulge in a hobby. Cars, trucks, animals, constructing something just for you. Just keep busy. Get online with facebook and hook up with old friends, ignore the requests from people you do not know. Go out with old friends, travel to see them. They cant come to you coz they are married with kids.

You will be fine, just be glad you dont have kids and have to fight with her for the next 18 yrs, you are totally free of your past, cut all connections. Keep us posted. And do not do anything for at least one year, buy a house, get married again, buy a timeshare, etc. Just be you, give yourself time to heal.

 

[Pooter]

Actually, I made 92k. Last year.

More reason to stop being a puss

You have one life so move on and focus on the good part of it.

 

[bbsam]

Thanks for the advice. I was fine during football season, but the last few weeks were very hard. I am at piece financially speaking I walked away with some cash my 401k and pension. I did lose the equity in my house. Will probably rent until retirement. I was just really wondering how others made it through this.

Go do some volunteer work on your time off. Doesn't have to be anything really strenuous. Just find something that needs to be done and benefits others. Some call it "getting out of oneself " and who knows where that can lead?

 

[box_beeyotch]

I vote you spend your free time trying to penetrate as much hot tail as you never could while you were married. You only live once and a depressed minute is a minute wasted. Make that money for you and only you. Good luck, my deepest condolences.

 

[olroadbeech]

This job can put a big strain on marriages. It took a long time for my Wife to understand that on a Saturday after a long hot week, the body needs rest. I used to make her so mad because she just thought I was being lazy. NO IM EXHAUSTED!!

We both just recently got thru the seven year itch. It was a very rough couple of months. With our long days, you aren't there enough as it is and you are tired after a long day. Last thing you want to do is get into an argument. I had to take a few days off thru this because no way was I in any condition to drive.

Just do what you can to keep yourself on other topics. You'll survive and move forward. Learn from it as well.

we plan a day off date every other month or so. i'll take a day off, load up the car and take a day trip with the spouse and dogs. maybe have burgers and an ice cream cone. talk about whatever. really recharges the relationship. wine when we get home and usually have some dusky delight.

 

[Foamer Pyle]

It`s not easy, I`ve had 3 myself and 2 while at UPS. The physical aspect of being a driver got me through the day to release stress! Good luck and lot`s of good people out there. I just keep moving forward and found my love and married her last July!

Hmm, this is the fourth time I have heard that from you. Number five is a few years away, lol.

 

[upsgrunt]

Hmm, this is the fourth time I have heard that from you. Number five is a few years away, lol.

That's what I was thinking. At what wife number do you start to question yourself?