UPS driver poem

Discussion in 'Lighten UPS' started by upsgrunt, Sep 2, 2007.

  1. upsgrunt

    upsgrunt Well-Known Member

    One of my customer gave this poem to me; it is by Alice N. Persons.

    Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man

    you bring me all the things I order
    are never in a bad mood
    always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
    look good in your brown shorts
    we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
    you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
    who always brings me the perfect present
    (why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
    and then is considerate enough to go away
    oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!

    ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
    let's hit the road for Brownsville
    and tempt each other
    with all the luscious brown foods-
    roast beef, dark chocolate,
    brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
    I'll make you my mamma's bourbon pecan pie
    we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
    live in a cozy wood cabin
    with a brown dog or two
    and a black and brown tabby
    I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
    Where do I sign?


    It always looks better from the other side of the fence, doesn't it?
     
  2. jds4lunch

    jds4lunch What the hell is YOUPS??

    Clean brown truck? Which city would that be in? :laugh:
     
  3. MR_Vengeance

    MR_Vengeance United Parcel Survivor

    Why I hate you , my UPS customer

    I bring all the crap you order because it is my job.
    I am in a bad mood, you just too dumb to tell
    I only wave because I hope it was the last time I will see your face again
    Only to find out there a over 70 box for you in the back of my van
    yes I do have nice legs and looks good in my brown shorts,
    thanks to all you soccer moms that just won't stop with your QVC lists.
    I'm not your boyfriend and i will never be,
    So stop day dreaming and find yourself a job.
     
  4. Lobofan5

    Lobofan5 New Member

    I got lost on "clean brown truck' too..
     
  5. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    Alice N Persons ?

    Why I have to crush my UPS Guy.
    "cause I want my ups guy to grunt"

    UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
    (make sure you write up the jump seat for extra reinforcement)

    And tempt each otherwith all the luscious brown foods-
    roast beef, dark chocolate,brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies.
    I'll make you my mamma's bourbon pecan pie.
    "I want my baby back...baby back....baby back...RIBS!"

    My apologies for acting like "Shallow Hal"
     
  6. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Finish this poem.....

    I get the big scene
    In my brown machine
    Driving for many miles
    To deliver the smiles
    To folks who wait in anticipation
    for me to ........................................................
     
  7. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

     
  8. upsgrunt

    upsgrunt Well-Known Member

    to leave a delivery notice on their door cause their wine needs a signature.
     
  9. BLACKBOX

    BLACKBOX Life is a Highway...

    YIKES!!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. MR_Vengeance

    MR_Vengeance United Parcel Survivor

     
  11. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    "Relieve my constipation!."

    That AND the picture! Deisel, you're outta control today!

    LOL!
     
  12. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I get the big scene
    In my brown machine
    Driving for many miles
    To deliver the smiles
    To folks who wait in anticipation
    for me to change my Sirius station!

    (For Diesel!)
     
  13. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    I remember when poems use to rhyme.
    I like Limericks.
    I may be back in a couple of minutes.
    PAX
     
  14. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Finish the limerick..

    There once was a driver from Portland
    His name was Terry Cortland
    He drove Brown with pride
    Had pep in his stride
    ......................................................................
     
  15. upsgrunt

    upsgrunt Well-Known Member

    except when stopped and was sortin!
     
  16. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    And said,"meet me at midnight sort and...?"

    Best I could do on short notice.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2007
  17. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Finish the limerick..

    There once was a driver from Portland
    His name was Terry Cortland
    He drove Brown with pride
    Had pep in his stride

    Got hurt and they put him in Sort-land. :)
     
  18. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    Maybe, this should be a new thread.
    Until then,

    There once was someone called MoreLuck,
    not sure if she ever has driven a truck.
    Her recipes were good,
    and her qoutes said what they should.
    ....................................... ..........

    Finish this one.
    PAX
     
  19. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    There once was someone called MoreLuck,
    not sure if she ever has driven a truck.
    Her recipes were good,
    and her qoutes said what they should.
    I'm not sure if they're stolen or dumb-luck!
     
  20. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    Good one,
    I am sure More will like it.