Watch the movie "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room" Reminded me of Fedex

FUFred

Well-Known Member
I was out with a few former co-workers (couriers) over the weekend. One of the guys told me to watch "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room." He said the movie was just like FedEx and it scared the hell out of him.
I bought it on iTunes for 6 bucks and it was worth it. Come to find out I found a link to watch it for free. Jeff Skillings and Ken Lay and Fred S and Matt Thornton.

The movie made me think of the greed, the BS, the lies told to employees and customers, the stock is the only thing that matters. Jeff skillings and Ken Lay are Fred S and Matt Thornton.

It's worth a watch.

 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
I was out with a few former co-workers (couriers) over the weekend. One of the guys told me to watch "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room." He said the movie was just like FedEx and it scared the hell out of him.
I bought it on iTunes for 6 bucks and it was worth it. Come to find out I found a link to watch it for free. Jeff Skillings and Ken Lay and Fred S and Matt Thornton.

The movie made me think of the greed, the BS, the lies told to employees and customers, the stock is the only thing that matters. Jeff skillings and Ken Lay are Fred S and Matt Thornton.

It's worth a watch.

I think Enron is the premier example of a "smoke and mirrors" organization, where management had zero ethics and would say whatever they needed to fool both investors and employees. And yes, it sounds a LOT like FedEx. If the general public only knew how badly managed FedEx is, they'd put their money elsewhere and choose someone else to ship their packages.

FedEx is like that big, red shiny apple you buy at Safeway, and then bite into it at home to find that the center is rotten. It's kind of like getting a blind date with a supermodel and having a Phyllis Diller lookalike show-up.
 

GROUNDIsAHugeSCAM

Well-Known Member
FedEx is like that big, red shiny apple you buy at Safeway, and then bite into it at home to find that the center is rotten
Im not sure your analogy equates with fatties like me. There are lots of fatties at fedex, so I took the liberty of creating an analogy that applies to us. You're Welcome vantexan, fellow fatty.

"FedEx is like that big, shiny yellow twinkie you buy at safeway, and then bite into it at home to find that the center has no cream filling!"

​This hits home for us fatties.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Im not sure your analogy equates with fatties like me. There are lots of fatties at fedex, so I took the liberty of creating an analogy that applies to us. You're Welcome vantexan, fellow fatty.

"FedEx is like that big, shiny yellow twinkie you buy at safeway, and then bite into it at home to find that the center has no cream filling!"

​This hits home for us fatties.

You need to stick around. Best sense of humor ever. Is it possible that the cream filling in the FedEx Twinkie has actually been replaced by :censored2:? Speaking of fat, it always amazes me that any courier could be fat given the amount of energy this job consumes.
 

GROUNDIsAHugeSCAM

Well-Known Member
MFE, Thank you for your kind words. I enjoy bringing a smile to the faces of fellow victi......I mean employees of Fred. Just to add some credibility to my humor, I am indeed employed by FDX, above the courier position. I have been a courier as well a Ground driver. Many of my stories are false, many are embellished, and surprisingly, some are true.

Fat couriers are fat because they do expend lots of energy, but they also replace it with fatty foods. Working hard just makes fatties like me eat more, which is actually a blessing in disguise. At first I felt like you, bewildered with all the behemoth employees, but then I came up with my hypothesis: Fat people like being couriers because burning calories just lets them eat even more, which is what we live for.

I'll use a simple example for those who aren't following me. I'll use a fake name as not to offend anyone.

Let's say a courier named "VanNewMexican" lives in a trailer and eats 4,000 calories a day consisting of burritos, guacomole, and those little chips & salsa lunchables. Let's assume VanNewMexican (VNM from here on) has an office job. He burns no calories at work. Now, let's shale things up a bit. VNM decides one day to waddle into the bosses office and demand a raise and a longer lunch hour, or he quits. The boss stands firm and VNM quits and finds work as a courier. He hates it at first because fat people don't like activity, but then he starts losing weight. He burns approximately 500 calories per shift. My simple math indicates that now he can eat 4,500 calories per day and still maintain his sexy figure. The same figure he had pre-FedEx. This is why fatties like to be couriers.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
MFE, Thank you for your kind words. I enjoy bringing a smile to the faces of fellow victi......I mean employees of Fred. Just to add some credibility to my humor, I am indeed employed by FDX, above the courier position. I have been a courier as well a Ground driver. Many of my stories are false, many are embellished, and surprisingly, some are true.

Fat couriers are fat because they do expend lots of energy, but they also replace it with fatty foods. Working hard just makes fatties like me eat more, which is actually a blessing in disguise. At first I felt like you, bewildered with all the behemoth employees, but then I came up with my hypothesis: Fat people like being couriers because burning calories just lets them eat even more, which is what we live for.

I'll use a simple example for those who aren't following me. I'll use a fake name as not to offend anyone.

Let's say a courier named "VanNewMexican" lives in a trailer and eats 4,000 calories a day consisting of burritos, guacomole, and those little chips & salsa lunchables. Let's assume VanNewMexican (VNM from here on) has an office job. He burns no calories at work. Now, let's shale things up a bit. VNM decides one day to waddle into the bosses office and demand a raise and a longer lunch hour, or he quits. The boss stands firm and VNM quits and finds work as a courier. He hates it at first because fat people don't like activity, but then he starts losing weight. He burns approximately 500 calories per shift. My simple math indicates that now he can eat 4,500 calories per day and still maintain his sexy figure. The same figure he had pre-FedEx. This is why fatties like to be couriers.

Best ever.
 
I think Enron is the premier example of a "smoke and mirrors" organization, where management had zero ethics and would say whatever they needed to fool both investors and employees. And yes, it sounds a LOT like FedEx. If the general public only knew how badly managed FedEx is, they'd put their money elsewhere and choose someone else to ship their packages.

FedEx is like that big, red shiny apple you buy at Safeway, and then bite into it at home to find that the center is rotten. It's kind of like getting a blind date with a supermodel and having a Phyllis Diller lookalike show-up.
ROFL!!! So true!!
 
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