You May Be a UPS Driver If

[BrownMex4ever]

You watch the clock at work hoping you have more time left to work rather than less.

You think Christmas is a 4 letter word.

Putting on a brown shirt makes you feel like Superman.

You start to yawn when your friends talk about the high cost of their health insurance.

You can't talk to anyone for over a minute without turning and starting to walk away.

You can eat with your fingers no matter how dirty your hands are.

You drink two gallons of water a day in the summer and never have to go to the bathroom.

You get off work before 6 o'clock and it feels like you had the afternoon off.

Your favorite day in the neighborhood is trash day.

You have more brown pens at home than silverware.

 

[chev]

Very good.
Yes Christmas really is a four letter word..

 

[upsgrunt]

Great thread!!! I hope you don't mind if we add some more:

If the employee cars are all backed in; you may be a UPS driver.

If you can eat 4000 calories a day during December and NOT gain weight; you might be a UPS driver.

If the time between 8:30 and 10:30 seems to fly by, you might be a UPS driver.

 

[jw55wags]

Way to go Good Post!!

 

[toonertoo]

Great thread Brownmex4ever, and welcome.

If you arrange your to-do-list according to loop concept, you might be a UPS driver.

If you avoid left turns at all cost, you might be a UPS driver.

 

[trplnkl]

If you back into every parking space, including your own driveway.

if you refuse to wear a brown shirt on the weekends and have no brown clothes that don't say UPS on them.


I don't call Christmas a four letter word, I call it the "C word".

 

[rocket man]

good job on the money you for got one .getting two warning letters a week is good week.

 

[over9five]

If you have to load the shopping cart while food shopping cuz' you're afraid your wife will blow it out by not packin' it tight!!

 

[over9five]

I just got this wicked deja vu feeling. Have we done this thread before???

 

[BLACKBOX]

When backing in your personal car you beep your horn...you might be....

 

[Re-Raise]

If you think you can park anywhere you want , as long as your flashers are on...You might be a UPS driver.


If a young woman has ever told you she didn't recognize you with clothes on in front of your wife, then embarassedly added "I mean regular clothes" ..You might be a UPS driver.

 

[JimJimmyJames]

...your long term job aspiration is to be a janitor (porter).

 

[Hedley_Lamarr]

You watch the clock at work hoping you have more time left to work rather than less.

You think Christmas is a 4 letter word.
Putting on a brown shirt makes you feel like Superman.
You start to yawn when your friends talk about the high cost of their health insurance.
You can't talk to anyone for over a minute without turning and starting to walk away.
You can eat with your fingers no matter how dirty your hands are.
You drink two gallons of water a day in the summer and never have to go to the bathroom.
You get off work before 6 o'clock and it feels like you had the afternoon off.
Your favorite day in the neighborhood is trash day.
You have more brown pens at home than silverware.

Brilliance, sheer brilliance.....

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

...your long term job aspiration is to be a janitor (porter).

Huh?

 

[scratch]

Huh?

Some drivers want to bid into an easier inside FT job: Porter

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Some drivers want to bid into an easier inside FT job: Porter

Thank you. Our custodial staff here is contract, not UPS employees.

 

[soberups]

• ..............You might be a MANAGEMENT person if..............

1. You spend $25,000 on a minivan for your wife, but save $395 by deleting the power steering.
2. You draw a trace for your wife to follow in the grocery store.
3. Any aspect of your sex life involves a clipboard, a stopwatch, and a written evaluation of your spouse's "methods."
4. You teach your children the Ten Point Commentary with the aid of sock puppets and music.
5. Your teenagers seek representation from a shop steward whenever you raise your voice or question them about their schoolwork.
6. You order brown underwear with a UPS logo from the Cintas catalogue....for your wife.
7. You consistently use at least 3 different acronyms in every sentence, and your children know what all of them mean.
8. You establish a time allowance for your wife's labor pains and contractions.
9. If your wife forgets something at the store and has to go back, you criticize her for making a "duplicate stop."
10. You and your family gather in December to hang decorations on your Peak Season Tree.

 

[Fnix]

You can afford your bills

 

[Big Babooba]

• ..............You might be a MANAGEMENT person if..............

1. Any aspect of your sex life involves a clipboard, a stopwatch, and a written evaluation of your spouse's "methods."

I'm always paid over.

 

[DS]

After a long day at work,you climb into your own car and try to insert the key into the cigarette lighter...
You find yourself clawing at the dashboard looking for the shifter when its
actally on the console.....
In a traffic jam,you are the only one courteous enough to let that 18 wheeler in.....
You look left right left at grocery store intersections....