Good Quotes Part Deux

[moreluck]

The taxpayer, that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.

If you jog backward, will you gain weight?

A little honey is good for your health unless your wife finds out.

[moreluck]

My blonde friend, Charlotte, went to the department store to return a scarf. She claimed that it was too tight.

"In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years." (Jacques Barzun...1907- )

"The eyes have one language everywhere." (George Herbert)

[dilligaf]

Hey More, Glad to see that you are up and about (well maybe not about), even if it is at 4 in the morning. LOL

[moreluck]

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
- Thomas A. Edison

"An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest."
- Spanish proverb

"The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music."
- Jim Carrey in "The Cable Guy"

[moreluck]

People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

"A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate." (Eric Idle)

Too many couples marry for better or worse, but not for good.

[moreluck]

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." (Author Unknown)

When in doubt, look intelligent.

At a dinner party, a sensible person usually will eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.

[moreluck]

"The beauty of the joke is that
it can be used to make others forget their problems,
if only for a moment."

Larry Flynt announced he’s making a porn movie with a Sarah Palin look-alike. John McCain called the idea offensive; Barack Obama called it inappropriate, and Bill Clinton said he’ll reserve judgment until he sees the film.

People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

"A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate." (Eric Idle)

Too many couples marry for better or worse, but not for good.

[moreluck]

"Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is."

There is a tendency for the world to say to America. "The big problems of the world are yours, you go and sort them out," and then to worry when America wants to sort them out.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

[moreluck]

"I do everything I set my mind to! Now where did I set my mind?"

"I thought I'd run into you....Everything else has gone wrong today."

"Due to the energy crisis the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

"I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one!"

[moreluck]

"The beauty of the joke is that
it can be used to make others forget their problems,
if only for a moment."

Larry Flynt announced he’s making a porn movie with a Sarah Palin look-alike. John McCain called the idea offensive; Barack Obama called it inappropriate, and Bill Clinton said he’ll reserve judgment until he sees the film.

[moreluck]

Six of the seven continents can grow pumpkins including Alaska! Antarctica is the only continent that they won't grow in.

In certain parts of the world, people still pray in the streets. In this country, they're called pedestrians.

Politician's slogan: If at first you don't mislead, lie, lie again.

[moreluck]

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.
They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

Amusement parks are misnamed. They should be called "Wait In Line" parks.

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice."

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

[moreluck]

"The first one to see that a traffic light has changed to green is the second car in line."

"The older you get, the longer it takes you to get over a good time. "

I got tired of looking at all those leaves in my yard, so I got up off the couch and went into action. I closed the curtains.

The autumn leaves are a lot like raising kids. First they turn on you, and then they fly away.
And next thing you know, you look out the window and they're back!

Everyday is Saturday to a dog.

[moreluck]

Stock Market Quote of the Day....


"This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half of my net worth and I still have my wife"

[moreluck]

"I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on."

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no personality at all."

"He who laughs last, probably didn't get the joke."

"Try not to let your mind wander.....It's too small and fragile to be out by itself."

"Winning isn't everything. It's just the losing that sucks."

"Don't steal, the government hates competition."

[moreluck]

Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope.

A man will marry a woman because he needs a mother he can communicate with.

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.

[moreluck]

"Why isn't there a tacky restaurant chain called Peckers?"

You know you've reached your fitness goal when you're strong enough to pick up your exercise equipment and throw it out the window.

My friend Bernie has six locks on his door; all in a row.
When he goes out, he only locks every other one.
That way, no matter how long
somebody stands there picking the locks,they are always locking three.

[moreluck]

"Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!"

"In politics, a lie unanswered becomes truth within 24 hours."

Stretch pants - the garment that made skiing a spectator sport.

"The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent." (Sam Levenson)

[moreluck]

Taunting Quotes......

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
--Mae West

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty."
--Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
--Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
--Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
--Billy Wilder

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
--Andrew Lang

[moreluck]

Knowing what's right from wrong could be hard to tell, but here is a fool proof way to tell. If the thought "could I get caught" runs though your mind - it's wrong!